thoughts...usually with attitude

Saturday night........

2011-11-12T21:57:00.001-05:00

I totally LOVE that cat...& yes, that is exactly how they think!!

My rn called tonight to check on me, how neat is that? She'd been told by my other nurse that I was totally depressed, etc...my mom's birthday is tomorrow, & I miss her...

Now that picture is just funny as hell!!

So, my neighbor brought me another thing of homemade veg soup tonight...MMMMM!!

My grandson (who isn't even 2 yet) called me from Chief's cell tonight...........I have no idea how, he must have hit the redial or something. but we had a 5 minute conversation...After he hung up I called her back...That was hilarious! She had no idea he called anyone!! I said he'll probly call China or something next! Watch your bill!

All right, I better go to bed...

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Tuesday nite already??

2011-11-08T23:01:00.000-05:00

...this is how cats see themselves...

I'm still eating all the time...even when I'm not hungry, for heaven's sake! Cuz, well, can I say it once more (loudly!)...I'm NOT getting a feeding tube, dammit~!! All of my home health care nurses tell me that that is my decision to make, & they're behind me 100%! My neighbor is always bringing me homemade soup & all that...& woohoo!!! She's already starting her holiday gift baking! She brought me some kind of crunchy coconut things tonight...that was two thumbs up!! But I also told her how I'm a no-bake cookie girl, bigtime!!...(wink, wink...)

I upgraded my dishtv & got investigation discovery, biography channel, science channel, trutv, own, etc...

My girl, Chief is not having fun with morning sickness...She describes herself as being on the 'verge of vomit', and sasys "Come on 2nd trimester!"...She got zofran today, & says it's a miracle! WHEE, a two-time granny!! Talan will make a great big brother!! Chief's already the best mom I could ever imagine...& Mr Chief is a great dad...

...devolution...it's on the way...

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Saturday...

2011-11-06T01:56:00.001-05:00

Saturday already?? Wow...I'm eating all day now...& yes, I'm being careful...I can actually feel myself being heavier (ok, maybe I'm only 90 lbs, but, I'm working at it, as hard as other people try to lose...don't judge... :-/)
My aide made me 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast...ok, well, it was lunchtime...then my neighbor brought me a big bowl of goulash (hahaha...ghoul-ash...as in halloween...)
Speaking of halloween...I was SO disappointed! I only got like 10 or 15 kids here!! And here I had all this really funny candy & toys! I was chasing the kids down in my w/c..."Wait, take more!! And don't forget your coffin full of bones!!" But I called a pastor the next day & had him come out & pick up the rest of it, & donate it to Turning Point (battered women's & kids shelter). Who needs stupid Halloween candy more than those kids?

Okay, I'm outta here...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Laughing is mandatory

2011-11-03T03:37:00.000-04:00

Yes, I totally admit it, I'm a freak for cats, okay??
I watched my normal Monday night shows last night...I'm pretty much a creature of habit, now that I'm OLD~!

I'm starting to realize how exactly much I'm really part of Marion, Ohio lately...my oldest brother designed & named the streets in Fairpark...one of which is Libby Lane...funny story here...I told my aide that today, she lives on that street...there's another street there called Easy St...she said, 'Oh, so they're both named after you, huh?' I toldja...she's either gonna keep me young, or she'll make me old...he also designed the streets on the other side of town, which are all named after European castles...Fairpark streets are mostly named after islands, like Barbados, Nassau, etc...
And, my niece, Cara, is the guidance counselor at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rushmore-Academy/177983215607296, & she's also started her own business in town,

...having been a guidance counselor, she knows

firsthand, exactly what a PITA college apps can be!! She

was the guidance counselor in Upper Sandusky for a few

years...which, for the uninitiated among you...Upper

Sandusky is about, ohhh, say, 75 miles SOUTH of

Sandusky...confused yet?

Okay, I'm tired...g'nite all!

Sunday Oct 30

2011-10-31T02:37:00.000-04:00

Nothin goin' on today...which is fine, I love lazy Sundays!!

HAHAHAHA!!!

Okay...I got sidetracked, by eating chicken salad sandwiches, & sloppy joes...all day...now I'm tired again, so...I guess I'll go to bed...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

This is a buncha crap!

2011-10-27T02:07:00.001-04:00

All right...I've just about had it! I had my barium swallow test the other day & my neuro got the report immediately, so her assistant called me yesterday, &they made a consult appt with the hot surgeon again...but, this time she wanted me to get a feeding tube, cuz I aspirated everything! I explained that I'd had sessions with a speech therapist, & had already been given things to do to avoid that, like looking down when I swallow, take small bites, use that stuff you get at the drugstore that thickens stuff...I will NOT give up my cold can of Coke first thing in the morning!! Aw, geez! Just as all the shit in my life starts going better...I have my aide here 5 or 6 days a week, (she's almost my "comic relief"! ), I have PT 3 days a week, a nurse comes over 3 days a week to ck my vitals & my lungs are always clear my oxygen is always 98%, temp is always normal, bp is always 110/70...WTF else can I do??? Since I've been on prednisone for a month, I'm actually HUNGRY again, aide goes to the store for me a couple times a week, & gets me what ever sounds good...y'know, purple pickled eggs, chicken salad for sandwiches...etc. oh, on whole wheat bread~~! OMG...I actually stood on the scale, with help with my balance, & since I've been on pred for a month, I've gone from 85 lbs to...88 or 90! So, I won't get a f"*ng feeding tube, no thank you! But, I will go to my hot dr's for a consult...just to look at him again, ya know...
So I sent my aide in the spare room the other day to find my leg brace...I hear "I found you another present" My halloween slippers! & she found my pets.com puppet! Life's good...

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

2011-10-25T01:47:00.001-04:00

Heeheeheee...Christmas is comin!!

Well, I guess Halloween is coming first...I just ordered my candy from http://www.orientaltrading.com/holidays/halloween-a1-90000+1237-5-0.fltr...
I need to practice my "CACKLE, CACKLE...I'll be the apartment everyone wants to come to...I ordered "gummy ear wax", "NOSE NUGGETS GUM'...they were out of my favorite, little bags of "werewolf hair" cotton candy...BOOOOOOO!!
Halloween is my favorite "holiday", I guess...always has been...I just love scary stuff! Chief liked it a lot too...but not as much as me!~ I remember going trick-or-treating with her the year it snowed on Halloween...that was fun, actually, she got a shit-ton of candy that year, because it was SNOWY....it was a Sunday night, so they had been ready for lots of people...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

2011-10-17T23:42:00.001-04:00

Honk For Grandma!!

This was on the Marion, Ohio website awhile ago...

It's especially funny to me, because the one time when my brother & his family drove down to Myrtle Beach for vacation a couple years ago, there was Doug & wife...at that time they only had the first 3 kids...the oldest daughter & her brother put a sign in the window that said "HELP! We're being kidnapped!"...so...I rest my case, it's the Stevens gene....http://www.stevensconstruction.net/index.php
There are so many spiders out here, it's unreal!! Shit! Remember last Halloween a ferret came to my door & scratched on it, & ran in here when I opened the door? The pizza guy (oddly enough, I was having pizza then too. :-/!) I just got a pizza from a different place...he brought it in, & talked to me & Truman for a few...as he was leaving, he jumped back when he opened the door to leave, stomped on "a HUGE spider~!" Yay for Aaron!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

2011-10-14T03:29:00.000-04:00

http://www.facebook.com/libby.j.stevens

I feel so good...well, my rn home health care nurse came in today, & asked me how I feel, & I said "if I felt any better, I'd be twins" that's exactly WHY I wanted prednisone!!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wimp.com%2Fcathairdryer%2F&h=ZAQCBXinxAQCd39OHaoXw13iDrIMgZAyhkGG636nYjCN1rw

that link goes to one of the funniest videos I EVER saw!!

I' m making a huge attempt at humor lately...because all I'm doing is laughing, anyway...
My home health people are connecting me with everybody I need in my life right now...I never even knew that there are "transport services" to take me to any doctor's appointment. They come here & come in & help me get in my scooter or wheelchair, all the people I've had as drivers are very nice & helpful...they drive a van with a lift on it, & they take me to the dr's office, then they go & do any other running around they have, & I call when I'm ready to get picked up! Having a chronic illness, and having to depend on others for everything is a huge wake-up call for somebody that never, ne-vah, ever wanted help from anyone! I remember some of my first words were "No! I do it MYSELF!!" ...somebody up in heaven is laughing every time you think that...
I was talking to Bro last week, & I remembered how Mom always was encouraging me to read & write...I remember one of the first stories I ever wrote...it was a scary story...I was about 8, and I was writing about how to make the best "witches brew", & I specifically remember one line I wrote. It was in the ingredients list...some bones, not old dried-up bones, fresh, bloody ones'....gaaahhhh...can you even imagine what my Mom had to have thought?? She handled it well, though...explained how there were veins & arteries, and, no, your bones weren't just floating in a "bag of blood"...that right there explains a phrase that Mom used when she wrote her grandmother's book for Chief..."Tiffany, your mom always had such an indomitable spirit."
Okay, I'm tired...have a lot more funny stuff that's been happening lately, but I'll get to it...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

weekend's over...

2011-10-10T00:45:00.001-04:00

I'm liking this new thingy for the blog...It's gonna take some getting used to, but, I'm flexible...

My mind is all over the place lately...like it's not usually? (snark!)

Okay, one of the big things on my mind...Baby Lisa, allegedly kidnapped from her crib at home, last Monday night in Kansas City, Missouri I've watched interviews with the mom tons, over & over...I really hope I'm wrong here...but her 'affect' is way wrong...She reminds me of Susan Smith, who strapped her 2 little boys in their car seats,& pushed the car into John D Long lake in South Carolina years ago. I dunno, maybe it's just me...

Or, politics...My mind's definitely locked on Herman Cain...yeah, I'm on the Cain train...he's a smart & friendly businessman...probly the most 'personable' of all! I honestly wish that mostly the 'liberal Dems' didn't condescend to those of us that didn't go to college, ya know? Some of us were busy living our lives, & didn't have time to go to college endlessly. Don't hate on me cuz I'm a Fox fan, or anything. This is a big country...big enough for people who choose college as a 'career'...but also for those of us who don't choose that path...nobody's better than anybody else...we just look at things differently...if you refer to yourself as an openminded Democrat, why do you get so spastic & uptight if someone doesnt agree with you?

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Still here...

2011-10-08T01:53:00.000-04:00

All right, this is a taste of "homegrown Ohio boy", isn't he??? A friend of mine from grade school (3rd grade or so)...we lost touch when she & her family moved to Tucson then, but she connected with me on FB this year! That is really neat, & she said this pic reminds her & her little brother of Ohio! So much has happened lately, that shows why I could think this city is the 'center of the universe'...lol!

I'm still trying to get used to the medicine change...the 20 mg pred a day is still great, I'm just trying to get used to having baclofen available, I take maybe 1 around noon...& it just knocks me out within a couple hours! Yup...just takes fiddling with it...Sucks, but you do what you have to...

Have any of you heard some of the neat commercials lately? One that caught my attention is United Health Care's ad (that right there tells you how well it works, that I even remembered WHO it was for!)...There's an older guy riding his motorcycle talking about how they cross-referenced 2 of his rx's & caught a bad side effect if the 2 were taken together...And I totally love the tagline..."I plan to leave this world exhausted!!" Yeah, me too...I just had no clue how little of me would be left, fighting this ms shit!

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell ya about my neighbor...she's kinda like a 'mom' to me...checks to see if I'm doing ok, every so often she shows up with dinner for me, yesterday it was beef & noodles, with mashed potatoes & a little cup of fruit! Holy hell, who needs a nursing home? lol! I just have great neighbors, etc...

I've been to the er here twice this week, believe that crap? First was last Sat.....my aide Tiffany noticed my ankle was swollen & bruised...she asked what happened, but, you gotta figure what's comin..."Tiffany...I live in a wheelchair...maybe I twisted it when I was jogging?" ;-/ So she called the nurse I see here a couple times a week, that nurse sd to call 911 & go to the er. So, I called 911, MY girl (chief.......been her nickname since she was 5! Anyway, the er was deserted...Of course OSU was playing...nobody leaves their tv THEN!! I was there 5 hours, got xrayed & doppleeed for blood clots...nothin!! BoUnCeS!! LibbY

i'm baaack!!

2011-09-29T23:47:00.002-04:00

I've been getting solu-medrol every 3 weeks for about 6 months, but it really hasnt helped me at all...I really like my neurologist, she's Ukrainian, I totally love her accent...'Leebee!'...haha...

So, at my appointment Monday, I was so upset & frustrated with ms, I almost started crying (which is one of the very worst symptoms of ms!)...can I get an amen from all my 'ms buddies' out there? Dr P reminded me that it's not relapsing any more...I really love this dr, she doesn't mince words or do that fancy dance around the reality...sometimes it hurts, but, it's always better to hear the truth straight out from your doctor. Most of the time...

So today would've been another iv day, but she's been trying for months to get me to do chemo...I've never really looked into it as an ms treatment, I'm just one of those people that freezes up at the word cuz automatically when you hear chemo, you think cancer...or is that just me? Even though I know that's not what it'd be for in my case.

But I pushed hard for my suggestion, & if I don't feel better, then I'll try the chemo, and she said okay...(she's the best!). Now I get 28 mgs of prednisone a day...right now I have the rx for 30 days + 3 refills! Prednisone is one of my best friends, ya know? Not only does it make me feel a little better physically (actually, it gives me enough strength to fight off the worst of the symptoms), but, like I just told one of my home health care nurses yesterday, I'll be grinning & laughing nonstop while I'm on it! That's true...it's my best friend when I get one of my 'frowny moods'! Also, I went downstairs to the lab, & got both the blood tests I was told to get a couple months ago...& OMG, she took 6 tubes of blood!! Holy crap! I'm really glad I finally got it done, though...Dr A, my primary doctor, his secretary called yesterday am, & said that my thyroid was high, they had to change my synthroid down from 125 mcgs a day to 112...so, maybe with the combination of 28 mgs a day of prednisone + lower thyroid, maybe I'll break 85 lbs...cross your fingers??

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Oh, my wittle baby girl is gonna be 28 Sunday, October 2! And she starts her new job the tenth, she got hired as a receptionist/medical assistant at the dr's that delivered her son! What's really neat about that dr is that he was a high school exchange student here when I was in 10th grade...this town can't be that bad, if he chose to come back here from India, when he could probly go just about anywhere in the world...they're gonna work with her college schedule...she's studying to be an rn, but her long-term goal is to be a midwife. Ick...that's like a garbageman's job...I wouldn't want it, but thank God somebody does!

...and you know what else?

2011-08-11T14:47:00.002-04:00

...I remember being 'relieved' that it was 'only ms'...after my mri was read...if I knew then what I know now...I'd be wishing for a fucking brain tumor...that way...either it could be operated on and removed, or I'd die. Either way...

dear ms...

2011-07-29T23:54:00.007-04:00

...or un-dear ms..

You've done your best to beat me down into a shadow of what I was supposed to be (in my mind, anyway!), but I thank God every day for making me be a strong woman to begin with, & giving me more strength with every new symptom that shows up...and that's been a whole fucking lot of symptoms over the last 17 years! Hell, I lost the physical ability to write in 1995, so it's a total blessing that computers have become something that nearly everyone has now. So, blah! Screw you! For some reason, the strongest people are the ones who are cursed/blessed with any kind of chronic disease...for the most part, the people who can still DO things seem to melt away into the background of your life, no matter how diligently they profess their undying support & affection. They probably still do, and that's okay, I've found a lot of friends since, and my life is still full! And, I've learned to expect that, you lose the level of respect for some, but, you learn some people you're better off losing them, instead of hanging on for too long....remember the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt" I've found it's all too true...

Honestly, if it wasn't for me being the one with this hated disease & learning all the ins & outs of it firsthand, who knows?? I may have taken off running. As much as I'd HATE to admit it, I might've run too! See, so that's why I think the strongest people are the ones who get this disease...cuz if I wasn't this strong, I'dve offed myself a loooooonnnnnnnggggggg time ago! One definite thing you learn is patience! When you learn how little you can do, on your own, and you have to do everything slowly, cuz you'll fuck up if you hurry, trust me, you'll learn patience.

Or, when I voluntarily quit driving when I was 40, oh my God, there was almost nothing I'd rather do than drive! From the first time I could drive, it was "my thing"...Mom always used to say I took to driving like a duck took to water! I always loved hearing her say that. I even requested to be transferred to a store 50 miles north of Marion when I was 20 years old, and it was the perfect job for me. Took exactly an hour up 23N to get to, but it was a great drive through the country, I never had to go deal with driving to some big city...it was just me & my rock...all through the 80's!

I'm really glad that I never knew I had ms until I was 29. If I'd known that I was going to get hit with the big "disabled" stick when I was a teenager, I never would've had, well, holy hell...Tiffany! Now that hurts like hell to think...because I still think she's the best of me, you know?

Anyway, you worthless sack of shit around my neck, I'm done writing you a worthless letter that doesn't make me feel better, just more depressed...thanks for the added strength...

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

i have an open letter to write to ms...

2011-07-22T02:52:00.002-04:00

...it'll be vile & full of hatred, etc...so lemme think about it for a while...i got the idea to do this from nicole's blog, my new normals, & if anybody has virgin ears, stay away!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

okay...that's the end...

2011-07-10T15:45:00.002-04:00

...I'm done with giving her that much concern. She deserves none, but is now getting ready to start her "bella vista"...I will forever feel like yacking up my dinner when I hear that phrase...

I did, however, sign the petition for Caylee's Law. How bad is society getting that we now need to have a LAW that says parents have to report a missing child in 24 hours? And it'll be a felony if you don't report a child's death in an hour.

http://www.change.org/petitions/create-caylees-law

And I'll give the last words to this guy...very colorful & descriptive language..rated at least R!

obviously, i totally disagree with the not guilty finding...\\

2011-07-05T18:01:00.000-04:00

closing arguments, 9:00 am Sunday July 3, 2011

2011-07-03T01:48:00.002-04:00

The more I see the video of Casey playing with Caylee on the floor, I'm more sure of her guilt than ever. Because the major trait of sociopathy is true feelings that other people don't really exist, they treat everyone as if they're things there for their enjoyment, and if they get in the way of THIS PERSON'S life, they're rarely ever close again.

The most obvious example would be Casey being seen as a good mom, playing with Caylee; however, Casey thinks of Caylee as a stuffed animal that she can take out & parade around, to keep the image going, but Casey's life is & always has been about what Casey wants.

I've heard a lot of people saying there's nothing but circumstantial evidence here...hmmmm...Scott Peterson has been on death row for how many years because he got the dp for killing his pregnant wife because of circumstantial evidence. I think Casey will get convicted, but not of murder 1, she'll get murder 2, life in prison. Honestly, the only reason I don't want her to get the death penalty is that her family sure as hell doesn't deserve that shit!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

more old faves...

2011-06-30T00:23:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgNTRRrpSjQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivFYVAntpw0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI9ySbj4Uu8&feature=related

this one makes me sad... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aubjDJc07E&feature=related

OMG, I would've given anything to do him!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIgZ7gMze7A&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TL94CyKFEVV4Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

...

2011-06-29T22:54:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb5S_-USqOs&feature=youtu.be

love this!

a day off...

2011-06-28T01:33:00.005-04:00

...my life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzeDqRhM09w&feature=player_detailpage

...Obviously, I've been busy lately...

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

something (kinda) unexpected...

2011-06-24T00:52:00.002-04:00

And now Cindy (Casey's mom) gets called to the witness stand and says that it was actually her that had looked up chloroform on their computer in Mar 08, not Casey. Wow. It's so painful to say, but, I can't make myself believe that...but I can't say I'd do anything different in the same situation...hypocritical? Perhaps...a mom will do anything possible to save her daughter's life from the death penalty, I think...

LibbY!

thursday 12:30 am

2011-06-09T00:25:00.002-04:00

I really haven't been doing much of anything lately...well, yeah, I guess I have. Still trying to get all my receipts, etc together, & turned in for medicaid...

Casey Anthony...I hate this bitch more every hour...and I'm really irritated with the defense attorneys on the news shows that say "don't rush to judge!" Holy cow! It's been 3 freakin years!! I'm still not buying that she fell in the pool & drowned, #1...do you even think for one second that Caylee's grandpa would even for one second hide that baby's body in the woods instead of call 911?? He's a retired police officer, for heaven's sake!! The duct tape around Caylee's head & over her nose & mouth, they already said that she died because her airway was closed off, & it's definitely a "mom" thing that she had a pink heart sticker over where her mouth would've been...also that her body was actually wrapped in one of her Winnie-the-Pooh blankets...if that doesn't say 'sleep tight, my daughter'. What would?...

Retching...LibbY!

dead terrorist...

2011-06-05T21:27:00.004-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

I just happened to run across this again...it's full of laughs!!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!~

tv is all Casey, all the time...

2011-06-03T01:50:00.003-04:00

Wow, I can't believe it hasn't rained for, like, two whole days!~! And yesterday, I felt really good, & rode my scooter up to the mailbox...hell, I haven't checked my mail myself since before Christmas! So, yesterday, I felt really good, then, today, it all went to hell...I felt all m s-y again. Yeah, I know, that's how life's gonna go for me forever, but, dammit, you don't need to freakin remind me every single time I think I'm gonna get a f*'n day off from it!! So, today, I've stayed inside here 'taking it easy'...(God, do I HATE that phrase!). So, one of my high school friends came over, cuz she was gonna take me grocery shopping today. But, nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo...that's not my life anymore...one would think one would get used to it after 17 years...one would, but ahem...!

So, we decided we would not have any fun if I was feeling crappy, so I'll give her a call whatever day I feel okay again. And I've been in here all day, watching it be all sunny & everything...boo-hoo, poor, poor, pitiful me, to quote the famous Linda Ronstadt...

Anyway, I made it a busy day watching the Casey trial...I'm quite obsessive about that anyway...if you lived in the next apartment, you'dve thought I was watching a football game or something...I was yelling at the tv & stuff....nahhh, not really. But the defense's opening statement Tuesday was that they'd explain everything in the first couple minutes...& her attorney said that the reason Casey wasn't really worried about it was cuz Caylee was never missing at all. She had drowned in the pool that morning, & Casey's dad had found her body, & they had put her in the woods. Really?? Really?? Is anyone going to give that defense ANY consideration?? And her lawyer said the only reason she's such an accomplished liar is because she's had to lie all her life, because her dad & brother sexually molested her all her life. O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I know, 'she lies....that doesn't make her a murderer' So I have one question...if she drowned, who in the hell put the tape over her mouth and nose, with a heart sticker over her mouth, and why?? Stay tuned to HLN for more details...:-/

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!