This Will Be Interesting...

I FINALLY CAVED...

2015-11-27T23:58:00.000-06:00

STITCH FIX

I just knew it wouldn't work and I'd be left depressed.

I'm glad I was wrong.

I first heard about this at least a year ago. I was at my heaviest weight at the time and was convinced I would eventually go back down to "normal". I guess those months of eating fast food while I redid our house wasn't a good idea. Noted. So it's a been a year or so later and the scale hasn't budged. My newfound love of Pringles didn't help the situation. I'm finally ~~trying to embrace my new normal~~ giving up.

I gave away all my jeans and shirts and my closet is now pretty bare. I've mainly been wearing funky leggings and long loose fitting tops. If I'm not wearing that, I'm most likely looking uncomfortable!

Since I HATE shopping, I finally decided to try out this whole Stitch Fix craze. I had very low expectations because nothing ever fits me, but it only costing $20 to try, sure I'll do it. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised!

I love the light weight cardigan. Typically, these things just make me look even more bulky and non-curvy than I already am. This one being light weight material actually flattered me pretty well I think...

I like the cowl neck top quite a bit as well. It's tight in the arms and backside where I have no issues and loose in the Pringles area. I do wish it was a little longer just because I prefer long shirts, but all in all, I like it!

I really like my my magenta and navy dolman top as well. More fitting in the rear but pretty good at concealing a little taco bell...

I am IN LOVE with my jeans. They are elastic which means I can get through the holidays comfortably. They fit amazingly. I literally listed my size as a range, saying I had no clue since leggings don't come in specific sizes...but she was spot on! They were long enough, skinny enough in the calves, and there is no button to pop off. Perfection. I could sleep in them.

Lastly was the purple blouse I was not crazy about. It didn't look good at all without a jacket. I would have preferred it come closer to my fingertips. It just made me look frumpy and larger than I am. If it was a little more fitted right under chest and longer, it would have worked. The jackets kinda help frame me a little. I do like the color though.

I AM KEEPING IT ALL!

It was cheaper to keep the purple shirt than it was to send it back since you get 25% off if you keep everything, so I'm keeping it. It was $200 to keep all 5 things, so it's more than I typically spend, but not terrible for things I actually like.

So excited for my next one. My closet needs at least 3 more fixes. Then, I need stuff more in the $20-$30 range!

Wanna try it? Click HERE

Big Project Take 2

2015-03-26T23:00:00.000-05:00

Here We Go Again!

We transformed our current house last year and this year we are transforming another one.

Last year was a very big learning curve, but for the most part, we loved it!

We spent 2-3 months doing the inside and then around 5 months building on. We still have little finishing touches, but once we got the final inspection, we kinda just quit. It was livable and we were just ready to rest...and then we got a little side tracked...

When we moved last year, our plan was to get two houses for the same price as our one. The rent of one would pay for the one we lived in. That way, no matter what happens in the future, we will have a house that we won't have to worry about (for the most part). Well, here is our before pics of the little beauty...

The exterior was a tad creepy but the mirror wall in the living room won me over. I actually loved the size of the kitchen but the layout was ridiculous. The fridge was in the dining room and the door couldn't open all the way because the dishwasher was in the way.

We decided get rid of the pantry in order to bring the fridge into the kitchen. Well, after taking the countertops off, we realized the sink was previously on the left side of the kitchen and realized the fridge was where they had moved the sink to. I have no idea why they did that, but we had already made the new spot for the fridge, so we just made a new pantry.

See the little space in the left corner. Crazy place for a fridge, huh? I love how you can fit a long table and several bar-stools though!

The one thing I didn't paint is the kitchen cabinets. I wanted those sanded down and sprayed. Plus, I didn't feel like cleaning out the nasty cabinets, so I let him do that before spraying! Love the big track light too. It fits perfectly and we don't have to install several recessed lights.

I cannot believe how fast this house is going. We have only been working on it for 2.5 weeks. I have painted every. single. room. Trim, doors, walls, ceiling, closets, everything.

We also replaced all lighting and even outlets and light switches

We had the ceilings dry scraped so we didn't have to mess with sanding smooth or texturing. The dry scrape left a texture that was similar to the walls and I thought it looked just fine. Much better and less time consuming.

My favorite room in the house might just be this tiny closet bathroom. It was a small powder room and to the right of it was a linen closet. We made the linen closet into a shower. The sink is super tiny, but its cute and gets the job done..hopefully!

The other bathroom is almost done. Please don't look too closely at the tile! The subway was supposed to be an accent. This is what happens when communication fails. Ha. Oh well, its always going to be covered by a curtain. It wasn't worth knocking down the top foot and replacing with the 4x4's.

Oh, did I mention I'm also painting the entire exterior? We had a 5 gal bucket of the dark grey that was from our current house and so I just wanted to use it. It's so much easier when we use the same paint colors instead of keeping millions of paint cans at our house. So, it's darker than I'd prefer with the dark brown brick, but I'm hoping the white garage door and trim will help brighten it up.

I love the new floors! I've only had them for a day, but so far, I'd buy them again!

Windows are getting installed tomorrow so that will be exciting. If you or anyone you know is interested in a 4bd 2ba updated home for rent (possible sale), we are hoping this is ready in a couple of weeks!

Dear Sheri

2014-12-21T22:24:00.000-06:00

Sheri,

Here is my husband and I!

Here is what I got last time...

I liked the striped shirt because it was long. It's still not long enough to wear with tights, but its perfect for jeans! I LOVE vests. I like them because I like layering and it makes a somewhat plain shirt look more fun. I also like it because it hides my Pringles baby. I get size small vests though because I like it being a little tight. I can still zip it fine and it helps me appear to have curves.

The sweater and jacket were hideous on me. Sweaters and jackets have to go past my butt. Otherwise, I look like a spotted box or triangle. Triangles and boxes are the exact opposite of curves. I almost didn't think I would like the first cardigan you got me but it was such thin material, it clung to my lower back/butt more so I didn't seem quite as large in it. It also was a little longer, it full covers my booty. A rectangle body is better than a box...so long is good! It's even better when it has a tie or button, or if its a vest and has a zipper!

If you look real close at the top middle picture, that is my Pringles baby. I like to try and contain that little sucker.

As for the dress, I think I liked it. Unfortunately my work Christmas party got cancelled because there was a death in the company (and we are just a company of 10), and I wasn't so in love that I would want to spend $64 on it. I needed a jacket to go with it and this black one is the only one I had and it didn't seem dressy enough. If it would have been $40, I probably would have kept.

As for the picture you said you couldn't see, here it is!

I really like the jacket in the upper left. I also liked the jacket in the middle, but only if its longer than butt. Also, only if its a fun color because I don't want a white jacket...I just want that white vest in bottom pic! I have a white and black vest but its not like dressy. It's like puffy coat material from Old Navy. I would like some dressier looking vest like this one! I also love the long shirt/dress under it! When it comes to sweaters, I love the bottom left. It's long so I can wear with tights and I would layer it or add a wide belt that helps hide Pringles baby. I liked the dress, but because I don't wear dresses much, I think I'm just going to have to find a $30-$40 dress somewhere the next time I need one...so ignore that!

Ok, I think that is all. I would like to see some color this time! Lets get some tight jeans that are a popular color. Maroon? Dark teal like that dress was? Something fun. If you find me a vest, I do prefer black or white so it will match anything, but for long shirts or sweaters, I like fun colors. Mustard, coral, etc. I also like black and grey as well because I can wear one of my millions of fun scarves...so just whatever you find!

When The Inside is Right, The Outside Will Follow.

2014-09-30T20:02:00.002-05:00

Three Great Book Referrals

I have always hated reading and rarely do it, but these are great books that I would highly recommend should they fit your need.

Not a Fan: Becoming a Completely Committed Follow of Jesus by Kyle Idleman

This book is perfect for everyone which is why I’m posting it first. It explains what it means to be a Christian and what it doesn’t mean. It’s easy to mistake our knowledge of Jesus as intimacy with Jesus. I may fail at memorizing bible bowl answers, but I do feel I'm starting to know Jesus more and more. It's when I totally lost faith that I started realizing just who He was. When you have lost hope, you seem to be able to hold on to hope more firmly. When you have lost that spiritual connection, you don’t take it for granted. You hold on to the spiritual truths a little more closely. You realize He is NOT here to deliver me from all pain and to make my life easy, but that His purpose is much bigger and much deeper.

I found it interesting when it talked about how fans don’t mind a little touch up work, but Jesus wants to completely interfere with our lives. It was sobering to read about how we all have great stories of how we pursued our mates. We may have done crazy and elaborate things just to impress them and show that we love them…but when we think of stories about pursuing Christ, we can’t think of anything spectacular. Have we ever stayed up all night talking to Him? Do we get excited for prayer/quiet time? So excited that it comes before HGTV time? (Eek. Guilty here😁). I definitely struggle in this area. He’s not a God of convenience but of sacrifice.

Along the same lines, often times churches stress the “believe in me” part, but skip over the “follow me” parts. It’s easier to sell the idea of believing in a God that cares, loves, forgives, and gives you hope. He is very much all that, but if we are his hands and feet and we ain’t getting dirty…then what are we here for? The word follow calls for movement. However, they specify the difference between following rules and following Him. Following the rules becomes easier when we are following Him, but following the rules should never be a gauge for how close you are to Christ. I have spent the last few years not only focusing more on believing (or not believing) by how I was feeling, but also focusing more on rules. Was that "technically" a relapse? Is there a loophole here? Do I deserve one free pass? Can I substitute an addiction with another one that is more socially acceptable? OR as a teen…the ever popular question of “How far is too far?” Where is the focus here? It’s on us…not on Him.

When it gives examples of sacrificing ourselves, I think people get caught up with that rule mentality...like tithing. 10% may be nothing for some. What is considered a sacrifice to you? If you struggle with numbing out your life by watching TV all day (can’t imagine anyone doing that…😔), then maybe you are being called to spend more time with Him. Or, maybe you are hiding behind the “good Christian” mask by being the number one church volunteer, but you don’t feel you have that close relationship? Sacrifice might actually be saying NO to good things in order to say YES to real connection. Some may think their bad habit isnt as bad an an illegal one, so they justify...but He wants whatever is in our hearts that is competing with Him. My issue is being undisciplined with my free time and I need to make a real sacrifice here.

One of the quotes I liked was “When the relationship on the inside is right, the outside will follow.” I used to think I wasn’t worthy of God yet. I needed to get areas of my life under control or "figured out" before I could really go to Him and have a relationship. Not the case. Living in the "Land of Tomorrow” is a sad lonely, and long dark place...and tomorrow may never come.

I felt a healthy amount of guilt when reading this book. Not guilt that was shaming, but guilt that motivated me to do and want better. I think every Christian should feel uncomfortable with where they are spiritually…because we all could do more. Just remember, the focus should not be what Jesus can do for us, but what we can do for Him.

Glorious Ruin by Tullian Tchividjian.

Pretty much everything I wrote about in THIS BLOG POST came from this book. I realized that I never mentioned the book, so I have updated the post to clearly state that! Since I already wrote a lot, I won’t say more. I will just say that this book really helped me get spiritually unstuck. If you feel like life has dealt you more than you could handle and you may be in, or heading to, a dark hopeless place of victim-ville…then this is a great place to start. It acknowledges your suffering but helps channel it positively before it consumes you.

The Hope Journey by Jennifer Hunt

Again, an easy read, great book. It’s last on this list because it doesn’t apply to everyone. It’s to help people overcome the wounds of abuse and to know there is hope. It’s interesting how people can process abuse and think they are “over it” but then something will trigger a thought and you kinda need to process through it again. I find it helpful that she explained how she was confused for so many years. Abuse can have so many forms and the manipulation of perpetrators can really make things complicated and confusing. I have a feeling that most abused people feel partially responsible, like they were at fault for at least parts of it. Even when people know intellectually that it’s not true, their heart may still feel that they could have and should have done more. It’s nice to have that lie reiterated by unbiased people anytime it creeps back up.

This was basically about a college student who was noticing her past ruining her future. She decided to seek help and this book was approximately a years worth of her journal entries and counseling sessions that showed how she processed through her different emotions as they came.

The only thing I didn’t like about this book was the ending. I tend to hate books with good endings because I will feel pressured to have that same good ending right now in my life. I can get frustrated that I don’t or start doubting that I ever will and it can just mess with my head. I start focusing on creating an ending instead of focusing on the next step…the process. If you aren’t messed up in the head like me though, you’ll probably love the ending and find a lot of hope from it!

I could use some more spiritually uplifting books if you have recommendations!

Fully Functional and Useable

2014-09-01T15:42:00.002-05:00

Month 4 of Building

Things have slowed down quite a bit because I couldn't make decisions, but we did finally finish some stuff this month! First, we finally picked out the counter tops. The black was easy. The color was black pearl and at $40/sqft installed and over an inch thick slab, we couldn't find anything better.

(If you have found better, please feel free to pass along that info to me for future use!!)

However, I didn't want black over our dark cabinets, so I was on the hunt for some white counter tops. I reallllllllly loved this grey quartzite (upper right). It's kinda got the marble look but more durable. The only problem was that it was over $100/sqft! So, I tried searching for quartz. I found a few different ones that looked the most like marble (bottom right), but those were also over $100/sqft. Erg. I really wanted something that was mainly white (since dark cabinets), but not solid white (because I wanted to camouflage spilled food!). So, after spending 2 weeks going back and forth, I decided to go with this granite (bottom left). It was mainly white and I loved it. It's called Siberian White and at $50/sqft, it was more reasonable. I also thought my backsplash (top left) looked great with it, so I pulled the trigger and moved on.

For the bar area, we found some live edge wood planks. I'm very excited/anxious to see how this will turn out. Wes wants this to be his project. It's hard being patient, but I'm trying!

It also took me a little too long to decide on kitchen hardware. I knew I wanted cup pulls, but it turns out Wes has a strong hatred toward them. I bought one to install (so he could fall in love with it) but the raised panel in the middle is too skinny to install it there. I prefer the pulls to be in the middle of drawers. I could put them on the top, but if Wes doesn't fall in love, and we end up going with the same handles, those would definitely need to be in the middle and not the top...leaving two extra holes in our drawer. So, I gave up. It will get done eventually.

Wes also wanted to take on the pantry as his project.

I think he did an awesome job. Bad picture, but great pantry!

We just need to sand, texture and paint it. Then add trim around the door and stain it to match the cabinets. The kitchen is 100% useable and so I am trying to be patient about all the unfinished projects that Wes has claimed as his. These include the bar top and the back of the bar having faux stone installed. Building a panel to cover the back of the island and installing floating shelves in between the two windows on the right. Then we need to order several fake doors from the cabinet place, two more refrigerator cabinets with glass doors to go above the other ones, and one more upper and lower cabinet to go on the left of the pantry. We also need to decide on a range hood and kitchen table light. Then backsplash, baseboards and crown moulding. Not much, right!? I'm trying to convince myself of that...

The other big thing we finished is the upstairs walls! I will be busy priming and painting this week along with ordering carpet!

Wes wanted this project, but we needed to compromise. We have extra furniture being stored in all of our rooms that really want to go to their home upstairs! It was stuff we were going to get rid of until we realized this room was happening. So, its definitely furniture and clutter overload right now and I just don't mentally function as well in that environment. Plus, when we made a list of all remaining projects that Wes wanted to do...well, it was going to take around 12 months to finish them all since he has a full time job and two busy kiddos. I compromised by saving him the stairs area to drywall!

He installed the door and started working, but the pantry pulled him away for a moment. He took out our old HVAC unit that was where this big space is, and we plan to install a platform here where the new water heater will be, with an access door at the landing of the stairs. Very excited for this to be done. Our water heater works, so we aren't in a hurry, but It's a tad hazardous and it's located in the playroom, so I'm ready for it to be done! Finishing this area is next in line.

He installed the door that goes into the storm shelter. He's becoming a pro door installer.

We could have had the entire house done by now, but I'm all about letting Wes take on some things. I only insisted on having a functioning and useable house as quickly as possible. After that, it's all about compromise. If we plan to fix up and rent/flip houses, I am totally cool with having Wes do these projects on our house. We get better with practice and we also learn what was worth doing ourself and what wasn't. By the end of next month, I'm hoping all the major projects will be done. We will be redecorating and organizing and doing yard work for the rest of our lives, but I will be able to deep clean the house and it wont be dusty five minutes later because of a project. That's my goal anyway!

Eclectic or Disaster? We will soon find out...

2014-07-28T23:11:00.002-05:00

KITCHEN'S OVERWHELM ME

I LOOOOVE way too many different things when it comes to kitchens. I like concrete, stainless steel, marble, wood, AND granite counter tops...can we have all?! I like white and dark brown cabinets...so I chose both. I like many many many different back splashes, so I'm thinking of using more than one. Is that crazy!? Same with pulls. I like cup pulls and bar pulls. Do they mix well?! The list goes on and on. I like so many different looks that I just don't enjoy picking one. I want someone to come in with a computer program that can show me exactly what different ideas will look like...except, I don't wanna pay for it! Ha.

So, here's what we have been doing the past two weeks...

Yep. That's how the cabinets came.

Here is the dark chocolate oak cabinets put together.

We decided to push the island back further, which meant cutting into our slab in order for the electrical line to come back further. It also means more tile work, but no biggie.

We just gotta get the fake door panels for the sides, and a panel in the back, and here's our island.

The good news is I've been able to rule out the stainless steel island counter top! The massive amount of steel in here is more than enough...maybe I'll save that for the playroom table top!

(no, the faucet isn't going there. We threw it on to a piece of plywood just for temp use)

Here is where we are at right now. Finishing up the wall oven cabinet so we can get our counters measured asap. There will be a lot of finishing touches, and several decisions...which stresses me out (mainly the kitchen table light), but hopefully it will all look good in the end. Too many different crazy design ideas might just make for a beautiful disaster...we shall see...

Speaking of crazy design ideas, I'm thinking this for the bar top between the kitchen and living room would look awesome. Do you?

Lastly, who would like to get me this table?! It's just a little pocket change...

I am just a few days away from being able to use my kitchen! Eating sandwiches, pizza, and taco bell everyday has gotten a little old...homemade spaghetti sounds super gourmet right now.

House Remodel: Part 13

2014-07-16T01:10:00.001-05:00

THE FINAL LEG!!
So it's been 3 weeks since the last update. The paint, stucco, and brick have been completed.

The drywall and texture was completed and I was finally able to tear down the kitchen tarp!! It's so nice being able to get into the fridge without having to walk outside, through the garage, and into the kitchen, just for a glass of juice! I primed and painted the entire kitchen, laundry room, and playroom. I hate painting ceilings.

I recruited the kids to help paint the walls while I painted the ceilings.

Oh. and the playroom wood floors were installed...

scraped, distressed, and stained!!

Wes installed these two outlets (shh...don't tell anyone!). Our electricians come on Friday to do all the finishings, but I had to do laundry before the kids and I go on vacation early Thursday morning!

We also hung up siding. He looks so good with a tool belt on, eh?

In hopes of tying in the new brick with the old part of the house, I wanted brick around all the windows and brick in the corners of the house. I was thinking brick down the entire corners, but I let the brick guy do what he wanted. I tend to let artists create what they want! Was this a good idea, or a bad idea!? I'm still on the fence.

He bricked up the back porch posts as well. My plan was to brick around 3 feet up and then wrap the posts with stained cedar, but I guess he forgot and bricked all the way up. I'm fine with that too.

It's all done!! Well, the siding will be painted to match our garage doors...a dark wood stain look, but then it's done!

Now we just gotta clean up all around the house and install kitchen cabinets!!

Random Realities Realized

2014-05-28T17:31:00.000-05:00

Many of these thoughts came directly from reading the book
Glorious Ruin: How Suffering Sets You Free by Tullian Tchividjian.

With kids at church camp, today has been nothing but reading and pondering. I even turned off HGTV because there were so many deep thoughts flooding in that I couldn’t keep up with all the cool renovations on TV. I’m slightly surprised I turned off the TV instead of closing the book.

These are some random things I was reading about that kinda hit me in the gut...

I learned several years ago that in becoming the judged (one of "those" people), I in turn relinquished my judgments. I absolutely no longer felt anything other than compassion for people. Even people who drive me crazy, I can laugh at their craziness, feel pity for their pettiness, and feel sad at their need be fake. I genuinely care about everyone. I have completely realized I am no better than anyone else. I can’t even hate judgmental people, because they are just people who need to feel better about themselves by making others seem worse. Character flaws. We all have them. Nobody grows up dreaming about being drug addicts, adulterers, depressed hermits, or angry abusive people. People just feel that's the only way to ensure some false sense of acceptance and protection at the time. When we try to be in control of everything, we can all come up with pretty bad ideas of meeting legitimate needs.

What I didn’t grasp back then that I think I’m starting to now, is I'm pretty judgmental of myself. In reality, I’m not really that important. The smaller and less significant I become, the freer I will be. I have spent a lot of energy running from trials, avoiding emotions, and trying to “get over it” quickly, so that I could be who I thought I was supposed to be. I was trying to control everything and in doing so, became a slave to self-reliance. When my significance, protection, and purpose is all riding on me, it’s a lot of pressure. I had turned personal validation into my primary source of meaning and value. I got over the need for others approval a while ago, but the need of MY approval was another story. Jesus measured up for me so that I don't have to live under the pressure of measuring up to others…including myself. There is nothing left for me to prove or protect, no one to impress or appease and I can be okay with not being okay. I am free from the burden of trying to control not only what other people think about me, but how I think of me.

A fun creative mom, a Celebrate Recovery leader, and a good friend. That identity became my idol. When I was too busy to be creative, I thought I was nothing. When I was no longer a leader who “had it all together”, I was just a loser who “fell from grace”. When I was too hurt to be fun, I hid and became an emotionless robot. I put so much pressure on myself to be who I thought I was supposed to be, that when I couldn’t measure up, I didn’t know who I was. That was a very uncomfortable place. I questioned Why me?…I am trying to carry out a godly plan here...Why this?...this is totally messing up this plan…Why now?...just as my plan was getting started?? I thought I knew God’s plan and didn't understand why it wasn't working out. Quick fix after quick fix, I had to realize who I actually was and who I wasn’t. Apparently God doesn’t need my help in planning my future and he doesn’t want me in control. I have been fired from that job after 29 years. Well shoot. What do I do now??

I knew I was not defined by my struggles, but I am also not defined by my accomplishments. I realize that sad events aren’t what rob me of joy. Idolatry does. My “chains” that needed breaking weren’t my bad coping skills. I could break one of those and just pick up another. My chain was idolizing the identity of who I wanted to be. If I was sad, I needed to run away from those feelings so I could continue encouraging others. If I was struggling with something, I needed to snap out of it so that I could continue being an awesome testimony. It never really occurred to me that I am really just not that important. God doesn’t NEED me. He wants me to need HIM. He can use me no matter where I’m at and I can go to him no matter where I’m at. I typically never prayed asking for help until I had already come up with a plan I felt would work…then I basically prayed that he follow through. The pressure is off. I don’t need a plan and I don’t need to always be strong. It wasn’t that God abandoned me during hard times, but that I was focused more on MY plan than I was on Him. I needed to stop doing and start listening.

Lastly, as much as I don’t like people plastering smiles on their face, God doesn’t want edited prayers. It’s good for me to keep things in perspective by realizing there are people who have it worse, but that doesn’t mean I have to minimize my pain. When I'm hurting and mad at God, I just stop talking to Him...as if that's better than me yelling at him. The appropriate response to life in this world IS grief and pain, so I do not need to deny those feelings...even if I blame him at the moment. This world is not my home. He is not interested in what I think I SHOULD be doing or SHOULD be feeling, but he is interested in me…and he meets me where I am. I can be weak so he can be strong. I don't have to have it all figured out. I can question him and be angry, he's got thick enough skin. I guess this is what it means to work THROUGH the pain as opposed to running FROM the pain.

I am weak. I am not important. I am not my own judge. I do not need to know the plan.

I need Jesus.

Ok. That was enough sap for a few months.

Home Transformation

2014-03-26T14:08:00.000-05:00

Our First Total Gut Job

It's been a pretty crazy two months

The first thing we wanted to do was the kids room and bathroom. We lived on air mattresses in the kitchen and living room! We currently have our playroom couch behind our living room couch, but hopefully our garage turned playroom will be done soon!

This was the original closed off view from our front door. We opened it up which means we will have to do a little better job of keeping it cleaned.

We spruced up the entry way a tad. The door people messed up on measuring. Instead of waiting another few weeks, Wes offered to buy the door at a big discount, trimmed the bottom a little, and installed it himself. This saved A LOT!!

The hallway was blown open and the ladders give it a nice touch!

I stained a lot of wood...

I still have a couple door frames to stain, but I needed a break!

The kids bath had wallpaper falling off the wall. We lifted the ceiling over the tub and found tile that was discontinued at just 50 cents a piece!

As much as we loved the green and white sink, we decided to get a little bigger one. Avery is not excited about sharing a sink with Zane, but I have a feeling she will survive.

We removed one of the master closets in order to get me my tub...

Doing this made the tiny master bathroom into a tight, but full master bath. We need to order the glass shower surround. That's our goal for this weekend!

We are still working on our bathroom (mirror, light, staining vanity), but I like being able to close it off from our bedroom. I'm not a fan of open concept when it comes to bathrooms!

We still have some little random things we need to finish, but most of the living space is complete. We are now working on the big jobs of converting a garage to a playroom and then having a new garage built. We have decided to be the general contractors so we will see how that process goes!!

Oh Yes He Did...

2013-08-24T16:18:00.000-05:00

and he loved every bit of it...

I am not sure why we waited EIGHT YEARS to go on a vacation without the kids, but that will never happen again. If your hubby ever says "I'm totally getting a speedo" he might actually be serious. The day before we leave he goes to Academy and I was like "What?? You were serious?!" He was.

It was hard taking pictures because it was really bright and his eyes were still super sensitive, but out of 200, I think we got a few keepers!! The self timer continuous shooting feature on my cheap camera came in super handy.

A sweet couple who were friends of my parents 15 years ago let us stay in their condo on the Panama City Beach. It was absolutely perfect. Right on the beach and amazing weather. We had no plans and we only remembered to call the kids once.

We ate breakfast and sometimes lunch in our condo in order to splurge a little on dinner. We had some sort of cream cheese filled stuffed shrimp wrapped in bacon one day. Sounded strange but super delicious!

We couldn't resist the dip n dots store close by. If it weren't logistically impossible, we would have bought a $50 gallon bucket of this stuff!! They had about 30+ flavors and we tried almost all of them. We had them put two different flavors in our cups each time. The best combo was banana split and cotton candy. Someone please bring this store here. I'll single-handedly keep you in business.

When I think about a year ago, it's just a miracle we even went on this vacation. I'm thinking the next one should be a cruise around Europe!! So blessed.

Art Camp and Theater Camp

2013-08-15T00:04:00.001-05:00

Fine Arts Institute

Once again, we decided to try something new. No only to see if the kids were interested, but I needed child care as well!

When Zane was at Art Camp, Avery went to GG's to have some girl time!

Zane got more excited about his work than I had imagined. He's so chill that he is rarely impressed with anything. I think he did amazing and enjoyed listening about every single piece!! I love the chalk moon and earth that we "have to be VERY careful with," but he was most proud of his "Really REAL looking" cup he drew! It looks real. If you missed that.

I guess I didn't get a picture of the clay bowl he painted, but I love the accordion book with characters hanging down with string!

Avery went to Theater Camp when Zane went to GG's for some sister-free time!!

She liked this camp a little too much I'm afraid. They had many different classes like improve, stage makeup, doing tricks (balloon animals and magic tricks), etc.

Her favorite was memorizing lines and acting them out. She did great remembering it all and it was fun watching! These kinds of productions are on my level and what I can handle! Unfortunately, I think her dreams are set higher where the waters are unchartered...and filled with alligators....

The kids loved these camps but I think it was more expensive than I prefer. I've already forgotten how much...and that's probably a good thing.

Chemical Peel Anyone??

2013-08-12T17:07:00.003-05:00

So this is what I look like without makeup...

The kids found this lovely app that will show you what you will look like when you are 100 years old. That along with chemical peel Groupons popping up and screaming at me everyday caught me in a weak moment. I've never had one before and thought I'd give it a try.

HOLY. CRAP. IT. BURNED.

The lady was like "you will feel a little burn, but it shouldn't be too bad." My face was straight up ON FIRE. She had to put a fan on full blast and hold it up to my face. Supposedly I got a fairly "light" peel of 15% and she goes up to 30-50%. How in the world can people do that??

These pictures are from when Wes and I went to a wedding 3 days later!! I looked like I was punched in the face over and over.

It was a full week of looking crazy and that was with me soaking my face and constantly rubbing and peeling the skin off...which was against the rules.

I wish I had this awesome pic of me with perfect skin now, but I don't. Totally not worth it! You chemical peel lovers are INSANE and need psychiatric help!! I still have another session but I'm scared.

Here are some random selfies I found on my phone when doing this post...

Zane's quote while watching me post this. "Haha. That was me thinking Yo, what's up"

and I don't even want to know what she was thinking!

I guess this is another weird app?

Crazy kids.

July Happened

2013-07-30T09:49:00.000-05:00

Softball is finished!

Like every year, at least three games and most practices get cancelled because of the weather. I think we might have to switch to EASI when the weather is a little nicer.

Avery made it to first base almost every time and Zane did a great job catching! It was a very fun season to watch!!

For the 4th, we went to my parents and rode around in the back of PaPa's truck to see several different firework shows. They live out in the country and at one point there were three different shows on both sides of the road!! The weather was perfect. We'll definitely have to do that again.

Apparently we forgot to take any festive pictures except these beauties aunt Brittany painted...

This summer I have worked pretty much full time, so play dates were much less in number. However, the few we had were so much fun!!

I had another birthday. Here's to the last year in my 20's!!

When you put these three together, it's always entertaining! On a side note, my left butt cheek is still sore from bowling this past Saturday. Ouch!!

I had the kids go to a 2 week program at a local elementary school. It was less expensive than paying a babysitter and it included breakfast and lunch and kids and activities. Pretty perfect in my book!! There were several different classes available but we chose "Kid's Just Want To Have Fun"

This is some of the things the kiddo's made in that two weeks!! One week was Ocean Theme and the other was Rainbow Theme. They made a shark t-shirt and also a Sharpie tie dye shirt. Great program!

I got tickets to Toby Keith's Tornado Relief concert. It was tortuously hot. I was thinking it would be from 3-6, so when a friend wanted me to paint at 6:30, I agreed! However, it started at 4 and I only got to see Garth and Trisha before I had to leave! Good thing I like the person I painted with... ;-)

To be continued...

Tried Something New

2013-07-13T19:32:00.003-05:00

Tennis Camp

Summer is the best time to try new things. If they hate it, they aren't stuck doing it for 8 long weeks. Last summer, Avery tried golf. She hated it. This summer, we thought we would try tennis.

I'm not sure it was super fun to them (it was a lot of learning the different ways you stand/swing), but at least they didn't hate it!

Zane kept getting confused with lifting his front elbow instead of his back. However, he looks cute when he is concentrating!

Avery actually caught on quickly and may have enjoyed it. It's not really a sport that brings a lot of enthusiasm with it, so it's hard to tell the difference between being totally bored and being a good tennis player!

Zane thought correct form was completely overrated and figured he could get away with just pretending it was a baseball. He didn't really care about getting it over the net or lobbing it to a teammate. Forget about trying to be perfect, just swing as hard as you can and call it good!

We might actually do this again next summer. In the meantime we definitely should dust off our garage sale racquets and play tennis as a family sometime. If for no other reason than to ensure my arms don't become flabby, it will be worth it.

OC Baseball Camp

2013-06-29T11:12:00.000-05:00

The kids have enjoyed softball the past few summers, so I asked if they would like to try this camp. I have to work part time, so I thought it would work out well for all of us!

It didn't quite turn out as planned. Avery turned out to be the only girl (after we were told there was others) and that is apparently a BIG DEAL.

After the first day, she cried the whole time saying it was hot, horrible, it wouldn't get better, she would hate it every single day, and she was NEVER going back. I just let her vent while I sounded empathetic.

The next morning she pretended to sleep in thinking surely I wouldn't make her wake up and endure such torture again. I did.

The coaches were great at encouraging her, pointing out her strengths, and making her feel like she was just as good as the boys!

She ended up having a great time. Of course, she couldn't admit it, but I could see and hear the confidence and excitement grow each day!

Her favorite was batting and she's pretty good at hitting it about every time. She ended up getting two awards and winning some baseball cards. She enjoyed rubbing that in Zane's face, but he recovered by buying (with his money) a Thunder plaque. I wish I knew how to slip this girl some emotional Xanax when it comes to being in situations where she feels inferior. She's naturally good at sports, but very self-conscious and self-critical. We'll have to work on that.

Zane on the other hand has never been one to take things seriously.

If there is a race, he doesn't mind prancing and coming in last.

He is more about the socializing, but I was able to capture a few shots of him in action!

He is cool and confident with wearing the same pair of pants everyday but is a tad sensitive when people call him a girl.

I'm pretty sure this kid would be fine with never playing sports, but I love how he is so laid back and will try pretty much anything.

Oh How The Years Go By

2013-06-12T21:36:00.000-05:00

7 years ago

I had a super happy baby that was sooo cute and tiny!!

I now have this smiley crazy long haired wannabe rock-star 7 year old!

You have grown to be my little sweetheart! You started off the school year thinking you were smaller than most the kids and that girls were mean because they would chase you and pull your shirt. You now talk about girls quite often and you think you are one pretty cool dude. I love how you enjoy talking with a friend on the phone while playing math games online with each other. May all your phone conversations for the next 10 years be solely about math! I love how you will try anything, rarely whine, and will still give hugs and tell me how much you love me! I love you like crazy, even if you do forget to change undergarments, wear the same holey jeans everyday, hate combing your hair, and allow your sister to screw you over in absurd deals!

You and your birthday plans crack me up. You wanted a surprise chuck-e-cheese Thunder sleep-over birthday party with lots of friends and lots of decorations. You got the majority of what you wanted!

We had the friends meet at our house before going to chuck-e-cheese in order to yell surprise when you came through the door! Clearly, you weren't impressed...

You indeed got to see the mouse...

but were less than thrilled with only catching two tickets!

I was only brave enough to invite 3 extra crazy boys to sleep out our house...

and this was the extent of the Thunder decorations at your party!

Oh wait, we found a bean bag and Rumble poster you made a few months ago!

I don't know about you, but that is the awesomest surprise chuck-e-cheese Thunder sleep-over party I've EVER seen...and I didn't have to drive anyone home at midnight, so it was a success!

Worst quote out of your mouth "I only have 9 more years until I can drive!"

Camp Kesem!!!

2013-06-08T22:32:00.003-05:00

Kesem means “magic” in Hebrew and their goal is to bring magic to families that need it.

Monday at drop off the kids were very nervous and not happy about us signing them up. It's the first time they will have stayed somewhere where they didn't know a single person. However, the minute we got there, super pepped up and excited OU students came and told us all about the camp and showed us around. The kids immediately forgot I was there! Here they are making name tags. Everyone had a nickname and if they called someone by their real name, they would have to kiss a tree. Meet J-Lo and Mario...

This is a free camp for kids 6-16 years who have a parent who has had or is going through cancer. Several states have this camp, but this is Oklahoma's first year. Livestrong funds the camp and OU students help run it along with a couple national directors. The ratio of kids to counselor doesn't exceed 3:1, but they actually had more counselors than kiddos this year!

Before camp, there was an online questionnaire I had to fill out that was all about how the kids are doing and how they cope. The kids also had to fill out a two page questionnaire...

Apparently, Zane is worried he might get a swirly at camp! Ha. The staff are trained in counseling, grief and mourning, communication, anger management, etc.

Click here to learn about this camp!

I was super excited to see them Friday during the family picnic lunch to hear all about it! The counselors and kids all seemed to have had a great time! As soon as we got there, we heard how awesome of a dancer Avery was and how funny and sweet Zane was. So glad they loved it and didn't have any problems!!!

I will be sent a link of all the pictures they took, but I have heard they tie dyed, did paintball, paddle boats, swam, had a dance party, archery, made pillow cases, friendship bracelets/necklaces, talent show, made boats, and went fishing. They also came back with a lot of silly camp songs and hand-shakes!

This is Squirt, Tiana, JuJu Bean, and Tiger Lily (above) and Swerve (below)!

There was 5 girls and 3 boys that showed and there were 7 female staff and 2 male staff! They are hoping it will continue to grow each year!

When asking the kids what their least favorite part was, they both said "Cabin Chats!!" Before bed, they sit in a circle and take turns talking about anything on their mind- from thoughts on their day at camp to their experiences at home. When I asked why they didn't like it, Avery said "almost everyone cried during it!" I asked them what they talked about and Zane just kept saying "stuff" or "a lot of things" and Avery started crying a little saying "they asked about how I felt about daddy and I would say I dunno and they would say it's ok, you can talk about it, and I would get sad because I didn't want to..." So, apparently, these are indeed my children...maybe this whole "cabin chats" concept needs to make it's way into our home!!

We absolutely LOVED this camp!! They will have two little afternoon reunions during the year, and will be back next summer! If you know any kids that would be eligible to go to this camp, look into it and share the news!!

Twas The Drama Before Christmas...

2012-12-29T00:54:00.000-06:00

This just can't be forgotten and must be read at her graduation party or wedding some day.

Our kids have asked for an elf on the shelf the past couple of years. I can rarely remember to be the tooth fairy and that is just one night. This year, the kids were given one by a dear (or evil) friend of ours. Thankfully, it was only a week or so before Christmas so we only forgot to move it once!

Meet Zenzy

Everything was going just fine until the night before Christmas when it was past time to go to bed. I find Avery crying. She was too distressed at the thought of never seeing Zenzy again. I don’t know anything about this thing. She said “He goes to the north pole and doesn’t come back until next year and I will just miss him really bad.” I ask what makes her think this and she said her cousin Duncan told them that. I asked how he knew and they said the book says it. I clearly never read the book that came with this thing in order to prepare them...and I still haven't. Oops. I don't know if they read the book but forgot about that part until Duncan reminded them, or if they didn’t even read the book until Duncan said something. Regardless, I tell them I was going to go check because maybe they read it wrong.

I go to the living room in hopes of getting help from this guy. Meet Jason (my brother-in-law).

I ask him what in the world do I say?! He says that just the magic goes to the North Pole, but the elf can stay. Whew I thought. I go in there thinking this will be easy. Not so much.

Meet my beautiful, sensitive, worried, and full of questions daughter.

Avery asks things like "How do you know?" and “How does he come back down to our house if his magic stays at the North Pole? He won’t have the magic to come back to our house...” Oh dear. I feel myself in a semi panic state similar to other fun questions like how do you make a baby. I almost talked about how when people die their souls leave but their bodies stay, but thankfully something much less complicated popped into my head at just the right time.

I explain that Zenzy will go to the North Pole to consult with Santa. He will come back here and be in a different place. You will be able to touch him and that is when his magic goes away. He will get his magic back next year and will start hiding again. But until then you will be able to play with him...so go to sleep fast so you can play with him!!!

Meet my sweet, I want to donate my hair to locks for love, I don't care if there is stuff on my face, non-worried, innocent little son.

Zane decided to pop in with a question. He asked if Zenzy would be able to fly or do anything cool. I said no he won’t have magic!! He will be like every other doll…you can throw him and he’d fly if you want. Zane said very seriously, “Oh no, we don’t want to do that or we might be put on the naughty list.” Oh right, good thinking! We shall be nice to Zenzy. I once again quickly assure them they will see Zenzy tomorrow, so they needed to fall asleep!!

I go back into the living room where I could finally die laughing. That is when I look at the letter that Avery quickly wrote Santa after leaving milk and cookies…I quickly realized one problem.

Other than being last on the list, we didn’t get our dog a gift…but clearly she made an effort to find an extra stocking to pin up for Santa to do something with. I then found another problem. I checked this ornament to find her list with some extra things added...

Can you see this? You may have to click to enlarge...

Other than desperately wanting to see a shooting star, she wants Santa to sign the paper to prove to the kids in her class that Santa is in fact real and that EVERYONE else is wrong. (If you can't see it, she wrote..."Your name_________because non in my class at school believe in you.) I cannot believe that everyone has told her he’s not real and she has not even asked us. She just doesn’t even see that as a possibility.

I ponder. Do I leave it empty so she will not take it to school and then maybe ask us of his realness, or do I just sign it and then convince her that letters stay home, especially ones signed by Santa…we wouldn’t want it stolen or ripped up by a kid now would we?! I sign it…and then grab dog food, a ziplock, a bow and throw it in the stocking she pinned up and called it good.

I was semi hoping that the dog food may make her question. As soon as she asks, I will tell. After all this, I WANT her to ask. I have never laughed and at the same time been so amazed at the thought and details that went on this year. She also instructed us we could not turn on the fireplace and we needed to leave the chimney doors open so Santa could get in. This was never a concern before. I have a feeling I crossed the line of lying. I’m not sure I can do this again next year...I may be put on the naughty list...

Not Too Late For Thanksgiving Am I!?

2012-12-07T10:28:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving In The Country

Includes an INTENSE game of football...and a casual drive around in the Escalade...

Apparently my dad thinks he's superman.

Only one casualty. Escalade driver decided he wanted to play...

Intensely watching the football game...making sure Uncle Randy doesn't try and cheat!!

The always fun game of moving furniture in order to see how many people we can fit in the kitchen. This year. 23!!

Little people shoved up against the wall where they can't move!!

Wes and I were promoted to the adult table this year! Then there were those at the bar and mom and dad were floating around!!

The Bean clan...

It was a different vibe for us this Thanksgiving, but we managed to take a cute pic!!

This little turkey can have quite the Borderline Personality Disorder (love/hate)!! So, anytime he is in the loving aunt Kayla state...I must have a picture of it!

Can't forget the mistletoe!!

Then it was time to make a years worth of laundry detergent for $28...which we divided three ways. This will be very helpful this year. It smells amazing too!! We filled up that entire bucket and in order to mix it, we had to go outside, get another big bucket and pour back forth while stirring. It was A LOT!

Can't forget the guitar by the fire.

Great Thanksgiving as always!!

Even though our life is kinda crazy right now, we have a lot to be thankful for and it helps being around family!!

I Give This Kitchen Makeover a C-

2012-11-04T15:56:00.001-06:00

Drab and Dreary to Hello Skittles

Here it was when we moved in

It definitely needed some brightening up in the paint department as well as the floor

It needed color in the cabinets as well as blinds and a curtain. I have walked around in the kitchen at night nearly naked many times with an uncovered window. Oops.

Then the task of making a valance. Love the fabric but hate the satin trim. I wanted cotton bias tape but it didn't come in the thick size. It looks like it came off a bridesmaid's dress. It will be changed...eventually.

I didn't like these two pictures on a huge wall with a long table, so I thought throwing up a painting would help. It didn't.

So then I thought I'd try a bunch of un-windexed mirrors. They hang high, but our chairs are tall and its a narrow space back there. Does it need more? Does it look too much like skittles and I just need to start all over???

I'm thinking the valance will be changed to match the table runner. The orange is slightly better, although I'm wishing I had done black. Again...skittle-ish?

I recovered the barstool's and need to have the rug narrowed down, but that will be...eventually. Welcome to my Willy Wonka's Kitchen. I think I over did it. I HATE decorating.

Oh, and here is the kid's bathroom finished window treatment. Should it have been longer??

Oh well

And the here's the hanging artwork.

I thought it was a tad more masculine for Zane than the original hanging bow.

Yes. One mirror is hanging lower. It'll be fixed...eventually...

Pumpkin Patch Arkansas Style

2012-10-23T22:50:00.004-05:00

Not Quite Parkhurst or Orr Family Farm

It was flat land with very little decor...but there by golly there was corn shootin...

and cow ridin...

and corn mazin...

and face paintin...

(bet you can't guess what Avery's is supposed to be!)

and animal feedin...

and pumpkin pickin...

and cousin's posin...

and the only decor out there...Good Times!

Then it was time to carve some pumpkins!!!

They were hard at work at first...

but that didn't last long...

Our adorable pumpkins that are now rotting by our front door!

Happy Fall!!

Camping 101

2012-10-17T00:05:00.002-05:00

Arcadia. My New Love.

It may be a good idea to leave before 7pm if you would like your tent put up before dark...

You may want to bring your own firewood if you plan to eat warm hotdogs. Every twig in a one mile radius will last you about 5 minutes...

Thank goodness for last minute Wal-mart firewood...

You may want to bring a lantern to hang. The small lantern/flashlight shown by the cards will not cut it. The flash on the camera helps quite a bit though...

We may be newbies to the camping world...

but our family (and friends) sure know how to rock it...

and two foot thick airmattresses will never fail you...

Next time, we'll be pro's!!

I'm pretty sure I love camping.

Designer Challenge

2012-10-05T23:40:00.000-05:00

I HAVE NO CLUE!

I get frustrated decorating. I can sew some, paint a little, but having a vision of what goes well together? I got nothin. Just look at my living room...the one place I would like to look nice, resembles a garage sale. Anyway...

I bring you our guest bath. We are not redoing this shower anytime soon, so what are the options? Can you spray paint the brass doors? Or can you get a shower curtain for a non-tub shower? I know the white shelf above the toilet will be a gonner, and the old blue towels do not match the more muted tones. But...

Would you change these walls? They had a professional texture/painter guy do this stuff before moving. I'd hate to cover it completely. I bought the rug, which had that color in it, hoping it would make it look a little better. Did it work?!?

Thankfully there was already a framed mirror. No hitting glass with hammers will be necessary, but this is still short of luxurious...and given the kid's bath was kinda crazy, I thought I'd be a tad more sophisticated with this one?

So, these walls, what would you do? leave them? Get rid of it? Add stripes of another color/s? Paint the woodwork?

I'd LOVE ideas!!

Kid's Bath Redo...Finally

2012-10-05T00:14:00.004-05:00

Its only been 2 years...

This is the kids' colorful bathroom. I didn't want to spend a lot of money, so the orange is from playroom, blue is from living room accent wall, and the light grey/white is from main living area. Not in love with the triple photo frame hanging, but I had it, so used it. I painted the little canvases to match the shower curtain. I just need to get a thick matching green ribbon to hang it with instead of the clear.

(PS. I didn't feel like cleaning dried toothpaste off the counter, drawers, and everywhere else for that matter just to take a picture. I did flush the toilet and remove dirty underwear for you though. You're welcome).

I also would LOVE to make a "boxed" type valance (no clue what the technical term in) with this awesome material if I get time this weekend!

Wes did an awesome job shattering and tearing down the GLUED wall mirror and then texturing behind it. He added the towel rods, and helped me hang the mirrors.

I think I will add more blues and bright greens to the painting. Other than that. I think I love it, even if it's crazy and makes the value of our house go down!!

Now for a question. Would you paint the cabinets the greyish/white since the granite is black? I wouldn't want to paint any of the other wood around the walls or the baseboards, so I'm not sure if that's a big no no or not? I'm just wondering if it would brighten it a tad? Would love thoughts.

Tuesday Truth...a day late.

2012-09-26T17:14:00.000-05:00

Eight and a Half Years
I forgot. When does the honeymoon phase start?!?!

I can't believe it's been a little over 8.5 years since we married. That is a LONG time and yet it seems like just a couple of years ago. Maybe it's because I've been in an autopilot coma for many stretches of it! It's definitely been a roller-coaster. Honestly, it's a miracle I'm even able to blog about this. In March, on our 8th year anniversary, we were not even living together. We had a settlement we both agreed to and in June, I had finally felt at peace with the decision to go our separate ways. A counseling session over how to tell the kids turned into something much different.

I really can't even remember what particular thing happened that changed it, I just know we took a different path...and I'm very glad we did!
These 8 years have definitely not been a Cinderella story. There needs to be a sequel where Cinderella and Prince Charming get beat up with sicknesses, have a couple demanding jobs, several sad family situations, painful events, and bad coping skills...yet still make it through alive. That is what Happily Ever After really means!!

To throw in a random moment...We went on a family camping trip last weekend and were taking pictures. The kids kept chanting kiss kiss kiss...so we did...and it was followed by crazy giggling that lasted several minutes! They are such weird kiddos!!

I don't have a sappy ending that says our life is perfect now, but we are probably more open and closer than we ever have been. I do believe there is always hope for a marriage when both are committed and have positive encouraging support.

As for just life, there's been another hurtful event this year and I've never been one to stay in the victim mentality very long. It's completely counterproductive, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm currently there. I've always liked to think there is a reason for everything, a blessing in every storm, a silver lining. At the same time, I think it is totally OK to be sick and tired of finding that dang silver lining. Sometimes things suck and are hard and you don't care that there will be a blessing later on, you just want to punch something and scream it's not fair!! It's a normal place to be, but dangerous if you are there alone. I've struggled spiritually, emotionally, and physically many times in my life, but especially this year. Thankfully, through Celebrate Recovery and other small groups and prayer groups at church, I've found great friends that are willing to listen. Friends who will pray for me when I can't and who will let me lay in their spare bed to cry for an entire day and bring me cake and ice cream! If you are struggling, reach out. If I didn't have some of the friends I have, this story most likely would have been a lot different.

Masks are stupid. Reality is more effective.