SingletrackJenny

August 31, 2012 already?

2012-08-31T17:20:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted in a couple of years.... if anyone is still out in blogger land, here's my update!

1). The kids are getting older:

Bobby starts high school on Tuesday?! He's 6 feet tall, swims year round for Lifetime, and runs on the cross country and swim teams for Wayzata High School. He still thinks it's cool to tell his friends he's a mama's boy, and I love that about him!!! A couple of days ago we were passing each other in the foyer and he just grabbed my hands and started dancing with me - no music - just his gleaming teenage smile, telling me he's so lucky I'm his mom. (No - I am the lucky one!) He loves video games and has some really great guy friends. He and his friend Jack are budding car-geeks. They and the dads have restored collector cars (Jack and his dad a GTO, and Bobby and Guy a Corvair). It's a 1963 Chevy Corvair Monza Spyder which they got up and running. It's all shiney now and they've even had it in a few car shows! He has already learned that it's a chick magnet when they tool around town.

Ally is so pretty and sweet! Still calls me Mama, and still likes me, too! I know that "pulling away stage" is supposed to start soon, but so far, so good. Knock wood. She's tall, too - 5'6"! and turned 12 last week. She also swims year round for Lifetime, but is now representing Wayzata West Middle School's team. She likes to help out with the car, too, and has her own pink mechanic's gloves. She changed the spark plugs, and helped remove the 50-year-old spring coils and shocks. Typical for her age, she loves 1Direction, and we have awesome seats for Justin Bieber on Oct 20th!!

I am getting older, too -- I hit the big 5-0 in February!

2). We all hate(d) cats, but we rescued Toby from the Humane Society a year ago, and now we all love cats.

3). Guy and I got married! He truly is my soul mate, and the kids and I adore him. He is a wonderful man in so many ways. He sets a towel out for me by the shower every morning, texts me love notes, holds my hand, carpools the kids, is so patient with their homework, likes just to sit on the porch, or surprise us with family-outings that are a secret until we get there :-)... He is a selfless, fun, caring, funny, tender man and I only hope I am able to show him how much I love him back. He is truly a gift from God to us.

4). Guy had cancer (melanoma), but after a few surgeries (one the size of a golfball), he is all cleaned up, and is a (sometimes) good sport when I slather him up with sunscreen or make him stay under an umbrella when we're outdoors.

5). I left Coca Cola to go work for a craft brewer, Summit Brewing Company, in St. Paul about a year and a half ago. LOVE it.

6). Guy's knees finally gave out and he no longer runs or bikes. But he is thankful to be back in the car-building hobby that he grew up with. He has built about 20 cars and he is enjoying keeping busy rebuilding the Corvair.

7). I no longer run much, either. Twice a week I run with my neighbor -- maybe 5 or 7 miles -- but that's it. I like sticking close to home and being with my family. I am very fond of my Ironman, Ultra and marathon memories., though, and I still like a long ride with Bobby.

That's the update. Now I have to figure out how to load pictures.... it's been at least two years and everything is different!

Is spring here?

2011-02-12T15:13:00.002-06:00

Ahhh! Temperatures have soared into the 20's out here in sunny Minnesota! Guy and I are in Rochester for the weekend with Bobby and Ally - Ally is swimming in the President's Day "A" Meet. Not doing really well - she was home two days this week with a 102+ temperature, but now she just has a really bad cold. She has swum in 3 events so far (will be 7 total), and all were slower than her qualifying times. But that's ok. We are still really proud of her just for getting here. Go Ally! We love you so much! UPDATE 5:00 p.m.... Ally just swam the 100 yard breaststroke in a Championship Qualifying PR!!!!

Anyway, this morning at dawn we headed out, intending to run 15 miles on the Douglas Trail. It was nicely packed by the snowmobilers, but it was still a lot of work: a good ankle-strengthening work-out for ultra runners, and I do say that like it's a good thing! So we hopped on and off the trail, running on the streets as well as on sidewalks in and around the old neighborhoods. It was SO nice outside that we ended up with 18 miles~! Yea!

We were especially proud of ourselves because we've been running just a fraction of the miles we used to over these last 10 months with all the changes in our lives that needed tending to. It hasn't been easy, as we've had to work our way back from SCRATCH. Like, we struggled with our first 3 and 4 mile runs on the dreadmill. But after today, our confidence is back, and WE are back, baby!

We used to be "marathon-ready," even "Ironman-ready" all year round (I did 5 Ironman triathlons and over 20 marathons in 2 1/2 years), but we completely lost all that conditioning in the strange year we look back and call "2010." It's been a long road back. So we really, really needed that confidence-building run, and today we got it.

In two weeks, Guy is heading down with some buddies to Oklahoma to do a 50K on Saturday and a trail marathon on Sunday - 57 miles in two days... sounds like old times, honey! Have fun and good luck!

Hope you all got your long runs in this beautiful weekend! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

Training for Chippewa

2011-02-08T21:34:00.001-06:00

Ok, what's my identity here? It started as an Ironman training blog, then an ultra running blog, then an I Love Jesus blog... now I think it's time to blend all these things that are or were important to me and start blogging again!

It's just been such a weird year, 2010... death in the family, the settlement of bills, the reorganization of all the household "stuff", knowing what stuff to throw out, and what to keep - both tangible and intangible. So much just had to GO. It was a shocking, freeing, revealing year. And here's what I ended up with:

- A man who loves me so much more than I ever thought I could be loved.
- Kids who love me - still - even though they are 10 and 12 and I hear that this is the stage where they start to pull away, but I have really lucked out - they still think (and tell us) that they are the luckiest kids in the world cause they have us for parents. I am so thankful I get to be their mom and I tell them everyday!
- An extended family who loves us - including cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, and Grandparents who go overboard making sure my kids feel treasured.
- We are so blessed.

Deep breath. Now that I have all those comforts, I can get back to training. So here is what is planned:

Guy and I are registered for several races in 2011 - starting with Chippewa 50K in April, Superior 50 mile in May, and Grandma's marathon in June. We took some time off and had to work our way back up the milage charts, but I am up to 11 and Guy is up to 13. I can leisurely work my way up to race day in April...

...But in a couple of weeks Guy has to be back up to 50K cause he and a couple of trail runner buddies are doing a crazy road trip race-weekend in Oklahoma that is a 50K on Saturday followed by a road marathon on Sunday. Now that is jumping back in the saddle. Glad I am staying home watching kids!

I've been treadmilling most of my runs as we have had a lot of snow, like pretty much everyone else in the USA. I can't wait to get back outside - and back on TRAILS. Chae, who is doing Chippewa with us, has been keeping her miles up, too, and we'll all be ready come April.

Gonna feel good to actually pin on a real race bib again.

More gifts... 206...

2011-01-09T19:40:00.001-06:00

206). Listening to Guy talk on the phone to his old friend Doug, who lives in Charlotte. He and Doug have been friends for ages. I hope we get to see them this summer. Guy has relationships that go so far back, and that says so much for what kind of person he is - that people still want to be friends with him over the decades.
207). Love.
208). Wishing I could let go easier.
209). Today's sermon at Plymouth Covenant Church was about realizing that your ONLY, ONE true thing that will satisfy you is a relationship with Jesus. That is a comfort to know the answer. To like, the biggest question mankind has ever asked.
210). What will bring you contentedness? I have tried placing that on people, on accomplishments, on things, etc. And none has brought me the contentedness that my relationship with Jesus has brought.
211). Finally "getting it" that it really IS all about Jesus. You don't have to keep wondering and looking!
212). Knowing and fully accepting that He is the one! That even though I screw up often, He knows my heart, He knows I try, He knows I will NEVER be perfect, and He still , STILL loves me.
213). It is a gift that I keep getting blessed beyond anything I ever prayed for, or even thought of.
214). That anyone who reads this, only needs to get quiet, listen to the silence, ask for Jesus to reveal Himself, and THERE HE IS. Seriously - that is all it takes. There He is. Talk to Him! He loves it! And trust me, you will, too!
215). It is a gift that I am making a comeback in running. We are up to 8 miles as of yesterday - woo-hoot!!
216). That our (10-13 year old) kids think 70's music is cool. They were pulling it up on their laptops in the kitchen on Friday, and as the music would start, Guy and I would name the tunes! And it would SOOOO take us back to high school! It was the best family night ever.
217). Taking a nap this afternoon for 90 minutes.
218). A clean house.
219). A clean kitchen counter.
220). The sound of our kids laughing. We took them all to see Triple Espresso last night at the old Loring Theatre. They had no idea what it was about, so I just told them I'd give them 5 bucks if they could go through the whole show and not laugh. Eager for 5 bucks, they were CERTAIN they could collect. Bobby had both hands on his cheeks, for the first few lines, and kept looking over at me to see if I saw him laughing, but after about 5 minutes he just smiled at me and said no way - I lose this one!
221). Watching our kids TOTALLY cracking up, like leaning forward and back in their seats, laughing - is a priceless gift.
222). The fact that I first saw this show before I even HAD kids, and it's been running so long that now we have teenagers who loved it.
223). That ANYONE can make shadow figures as funny as the character Bobby Bean did in the show last night.
224). Having two washers and dryers. Laundry for 5 students/ workers/athletes can pile up pretty fast, and you can get twice as much done!
225). That Bobby loves reading The Message Bible for pleasure.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-26T17:17:00.002-06:00

This has been the most lovely and love-filled Christmas I remember in my entire life. It was like a Hallmark made for TV movie.

It started on the 22nd, actually, when we were all unpacking groceries in the kitchen after a delightful (and delicious) trip to Costco, (the Center of the Universe, according to Jaynee and now me, too!) Guy just looked at me, and in front of all our kids, asked if I'd make him the happiest man on the planet and marry him. The kids were excited, I was excited, and I said yes, of course. He put a REALLY pretty ring on my finger, where it will stay the rest of my life. I am so excited to marry him! He is my true love, and is the most caring, loving, gentle, patient and kind man I have ever known. Even if we are simply doing chores, or sorting mail, or flipping channels, I just LOVE being with him, and near him. Try not to gag, but we sometimes just look at each other over our readers and smile. His eyes sparkle when he looks at me, and my heart just pounds. Ally says, "blech!" Bobby interrupts our hugs and says, "you guys are the cutest couple ever!" and steals his own hug away from Guy or me. So anyway, Ally wants us to get married on a cruise, Pod wants us to get married in Duluth where we met, and Bobby just says, "tomorrow!"

After we got engaged on the 22nd. Honey, thank you for not making me wait until Christmas!

So here we are. Engaged! At last! It has been a long strange trip getting here, but we arrived in one piece, and the kids couldn't be more thrilled. Nor could we. I love you, Guy. Thank you so much for loving me and loving us.

Guy has this great, non-dysfunctional family. They have a schedule of family events all year long, around all the holidays. They're like a pot-luck, loved-filled, happy, series of gatherings. We went to his parents' house for Christmas Eve. His mom made spaghetti and his sister Pam made lasagna. (So delish that I had both, but it's the holidays, and what fun would New Years be if I didn't need to lose a couple pounds?!) We sipped wine, told stories, listened to all the kids and cousins laughing. Then we opened presents. Oh. My. Gosh. Do his parents do "presents"... wow. The kids were in total awe and amazement. Every single item on their lists was under Grandma and Grandpa's tree. And then some. They both kept saying, "this is the best Christmas ever!!"

So we had this great Christmas Eve. Like I said earlier, The kids got everything they had on their lists. But when we got into the car to go home, Bobby grabbed my shoulder from the back seat and said, "Mom, I got everything I ever wanted for Christmas." I said, "I know! I can't believe you got an XBox 360 from Grandma and Grandpa!!" He said, "no, what I mean is I got a real family. That is so much better than all the presents. I always wanted that. And nobody was drunk or high, either."

It was so sweet. Bittersweet. He has said this at least two more times since that day. It's so sad that, until Guy came around, I had not been able to provide that for him. I think he has friends at school who have these normal, amazing, extended families, and they hang out with their cousins and do stuff with them... and I guess Bobby always secretly pined for it. Now he has it. I don't think we could have lucked out like this, with all the kids' relationships and instant love for one another, without Divine intervention. There is just no way that it was just chance that they all get along so well.

On Christmas Day we opened our own gifts to each other at our house:

Pod gave me the running headphones I desperately wanted! Thanks, Pod!!!!! I have the worst-shaped ears for ear buds and they fall out constantly and I whine about it constantly, but now I have the kind that hangs behind your neck. Phew. Thanks, Pod!

Bobby really wanted a new study NIV - the kind Guy has - so we gave him his own for Christmas. He was really pumped 'cause we also put tabs on the fringes for easy reference!

Hugs all around for Bobby getting the Bible he wanted.

Ally and Pod probably sharing a laugh about the crazy, insane amount of Justin Bieber items Ally got for Christmas.

... And then we went to Guy's sister Lisa's house, for you guessed it - more pot-luck and fellowship. We ate her awesome ham and green beans, watched a movie, the kids hung out, and then we got in the car to go home and again Bobby said, "I have a family!!" Grinning so wide that surely his face had to be sore.

When Guy and I sit and marvel at it, we know that these kids will grow up together, calling and texting each other, visiting each other at college, being in each other's weddings, godparents to each other's kids... It is so beautiful. And we are so undeserving, and so incredibly thankful.

Today, the 26th, we slept kinda late, went to church, hung out, and then our own "little family" went snowshoeing.

Family portrait.

Pod and Bobby taking a rest at the gazebo.

Boys and Sticks. It's a universal picture. You could insert your own kids here. ;-)

So here we are, chilling out (chil-axing as Ally calls it) and thinking about how blessed we are. Guy and I rescued each other. Not with the timing that the textbooks would have liked, and we made mistakes like everyone does. Maybe more. But we did the best we could, and the best we knew how to do at the time, and we landed in a peaceful, blessed place. I wish there were words to express our gratitude. God had a plan for us. Not so much just for Guy and me, but a peaceful, fulfilling, blessed, comfortable place for Bobby and Ally and Pod.

As Bobby and Ally kept saying, "It was the best Christmas ever."

A Thousand Gifts, pg 5

2010-12-19T19:05:00.000-06:00

Doing this Thousand Gift exercise is incredible. It makes me feel so incredibly blessed. I would never have all this love in my life, all this peace, all this joy, if I were going it alone. I have a Savior. And all the gifts He showers on me are in ADDITION to that. I just shake my head, weep a little, and give thanks. I could never thank Him enough.

181). My kids each day. I have them in my life every single day. It wasn't going to be that way. I was going to have to fight for them.
182. My kids' love for me. Even though they are 10 and 12, they still want to hug, kiss, snuggle, and laugh with me every day.
183). Bobby telling me I am the best mom ever. And he tells me this every day. It's like he never gets tired of it.
184). The blessing that Ally STILL hasn't hit the snotty stage. I hear it from other girls her age and think to myself, "What a gift, that that isn't happening to us." I was snotty to my own mom for at least ten years, so I surely don't deserve Ally.
185). Bobby holding my right hand all through church this morning.
186). And Guy holding my left.
187). Having to let the love fill up to my eyes, and the tears of joy just spill down my face, because both hands were busy being held.
188). Guy being so crafty for a guy. Right now he is putting chapter tabs on the new Bible that we are giving Bobby for Christmas. (He wants to have the same Study one that Guy uses.) And his man-ish gear-head's hands can nimbly affix those teeny little sticky tabs, 'cause he wants Bobby to love his new Bible.
189). Watching Guy wrap Christmas presents, after he demanded everyone keep away. He really gets into Christmas and it is so cool! He makes really pretty bows and is very careful about the ribbon.
190). Going for a coffee date and just sitting, talking, and holding hands for an hour.
191). Finding out this week that the cells that "looked like basal cell carcinoma" were actually only "benign lichenoid keratosis."
192). Knowing that the still-painful biopsy and pending nasty scar are a reminder that once again, my Savior came through for me.
193). Geico insurance commercials.
194). Watching Bobby swim at practice yesterday.
195). Pearson's Salted Nut Roll Bars.
196). Homemade nut roll bars.
197). Taking a nap for 90 minutes in the middle of the day.
198). Going headlamp snowshoeing at night with the kids and listening to them talk about how cool it is.
199). Kissing Guy with my eyes open.
200). Bobby seeing us hugging, and breaking us apart so he could take a turn hugging Guy.
201). Getting invited to go night snowshoeing on the winter solstice - I hope it's not too cold! But it will be very neat!!
202). The bracelet that Ally just made and came to show me. Teal beads of oval and round shapes.
203). Her sweet little kiss just now.
204). And her little hug and "Aw, I love you Mommy" when she saw I typed that.
205). Street rod tv shows that Guy watches when he's chilling out.
206). Being in my pajamas since 5:30 pm.

A Thousand Gifts, pg 4

2010-12-05T19:54:00.000-06:00

151). Snowshoe-ing with the kids and having Bobby say no less than three times, "I love this!"
152). Christmas carols.
153). Seeing an owl with a 6-foot wingspan flying through the trees (how can they DO that?) after hearing him half an hour earlier, but now knowing where he was until he took off flying above us.
154). Painting supplies.
155). Coffee with Baileys in it.
156). Salted nut roll bars.
157). Pants that still fit during the holidays.
158). Getting juicy sweet oranges during the winter cause somebody brings them all the way from the southern hemisphere for us to enjoy them up here in Minnesota in December.
159). Swimming in the same lane with my kids yesterday for a 1+ hour workout cause we're all about the same speed now.
160). Realizing that Bobby was sand-bagging the whole workout just to be with me. The last 50 yards he pulled ahead and started racing me, and in only 50 yards, beat me by more than two full body lengths. What the...?! When did THAT happen!? ;-) I was really gunning it, too!
161). Ally's fashion sense.
162). Watching Guy make his own Christmas bows. They are beautiful and so full and fluffy!
163). Comfortable yet stylish boots.
164). The sound of my kids laughter.
165). Thinking about Jesus, as a man, living among his peers 2000 years ago. He had friends, a job, got blisters when he outgrew his sandals, and surely smashed his thumb a few times with a hammer at work. But He was special. He was the Son of our God. Immanuel, God with us. How amazing it must have been to know him.
166). Knowing Him anyway, 2000 years later, even though I can't actually see Him. I feel Him like He really is here.
161). Neosporin and bandaids.
162). Gazing as a stranger's 16 month old baby at Dunn Bros and remembering my kids being that age like it was just yesterday.
163). 3-D movies
164). Watching little kids at the mall today as they met Father Christmas who was milling around, talking to the kids and handing our trinkets.
165). Writing my own notes from Santa to my kids when they were little, and they were so certain Santa had written them.
166). Not having to "be" Santa anymore, and have to wait up on Christmas Eve until the kids went to sleep, and then start putting toys together from 11:00 to 2:00 am.
167). Electric toasters.
168). Still being able to smell my fabric softener even after wearing an outfit all day long.
169). The contrast of white snow and black, leafless tree trunks and branches.
170). Brave men and women who keep the rest of us safe: police officers, firefighters, military personnel.
171). Pine and holly Christmas decorations that smell like the real thing.
172). Down blankets.
173). The unseen guys who plow the roads before I go to work.
174). The energetic feeling I get when I walk into Lifetime, even before I step on the treadmill or sit at a machine.
175). Actually appreciating climatic seasons we have here. Even the sub-zero days and 90+ degree days have their purpose. I may complain at the extremes, but I am nonetheless amazed by the gift.
176). The feel of breeze on my face.
177). Popcorn with real butter and parmesan cheese sprinkled on it.
178). Going to bed early, so I can chill with a Sudoku puzzle before I turn the light out.
179). Being comfortable enough in my head and my heart to sleep soundly.
180). Watching street performers do crazy tricks. For a living.

A Thousand Gifts, pg 3

2010-11-26T06:55:00.000-06:00

101). Getting up before everyone else, and listening to the silence.
102). And then listening harder and it sounds noisy! Like the furnace, the hum of a computer, the coffee maker...
103). Good coffee.
104). Sipping it out of a shared mug with the one you love.
105). Being thankful for all these gifts. You can actually FEEL thankfulness in your heart if you're sensitive to it.
106). Watching movies on the couches with Guy and the kids the last two nights.
107). TV.
108). Books.
109). My journal which I have kept since the kids were little. It is filled with the unedited story of my life. Love it or hate it, it's just a chronicle, and I am thankful for my own strengths.
110). Funny anecdotes about stuff my kids said. Like when Ally was just learning to talk, when I would say, "I love you!" she would respond with, "I love me, too!"She'd cock her head a little to the side, sort of like a reassurance. It was so cute!
111). The fact that Bobby talks at all. He didn't talk until he was almost 4 years old.
112). Which made me think something was terribly wrong, but it wasn't.
113). He's actually just brilliant.
114). That Bobby could explain to me the difference between the Theory of Relativity and the Theory of Special Relativity when he was in 2nd grade. "Quanta are just little tiny packets of energy, Mom."
115). Paved roads.
116). Red maples.
117). Taking a scenic drive in the fall and looking at the leaves.
118). Or a scenic run, or on the bikes.
119). When Guy and I had a picnic in the parking lot, on the asphalt, at Lake Rebecca last summer. Spread out a plaid blanket, ate cheese and crusty bread, and shared a Summit.
120). That no matter where I am with him, I feel like I'm at home.
121). Fine smelling cleaning products.
122). Pine scented candles at Christmas time.
123). Red toenail polish.
124). Being able to remember my dreams almost every night.
125). Watching people I care about, succeed. Like following people on Ironmanlive when they qualify for Kona, and just wishing I were there to see them smile! Or how I felt when my boss Darin get promoted. I still miss his humor!
126). That I can get back up again when I get knocked down.
127). That cuts heal eventually.
128). The canvas which is the sky, that God paints every morning and every evening. Our God can PAINT!!!
129). Hot chocolate with marshmallows.
130). Picking your own apples.
131). Walking down to the farmers market in Medina to get peppers, and then holding a bag of veggies in one hand, and each other's in the other hand, all the way home.
132). The old blogging days when we'd get to know each other by our words alone, then meet up at some race in a cool location.
133). Staying in touch with some of them!
134). Meeting someone as passionate about God as I am.
135). And freely talking about it.
136). Praying with my eyes open.
137). Being moved to tears every week by worship music.
138). Feeling God's presence.
139). Knowing that God knows that I try, and still loves me when I get it wrong.
140). Electricity. Our power went out for a full day recently - so inconvenient! but enlightening, too.
141). Actually getting pregnant and having Ally AFTER having ectopic pregnancies in both tubes.
142). Becoming a Christian a few years ago.
143). Standing on a bridge over a river and watching the water flow downstream.
144). Dropping leaves in it and watching them disappear.
145). Doing that with your kids just on a steam in the woods in back of the house.
146). Treasure hunting with a metal detector.
147). Panning for gold. ("I'm not addicted! I can quit whenever I want!" "Honey, you said that two hours ago."
148). Lucky Charms. And how they put in more marshmallows so you never run out anymore.
149). Lasik
150). Cute reading classes for when the lasik doesn't work anymore.

A Thousand Gifts, page 2

2010-11-25T12:31:00.000-06:00

51). Reading the things Bobby and Ally just wrote down when I asked them to write 10 things they were thankful for. Bobby wrote 11 and Ally couldn't stop 'til she hit 37. Which was "make-up.":-)
52). The smell of roasting turkey in the oven, all basted with aromatic herbs that Guy stuffed it with.
53). Living someplace where it goes unnoticed when you end sentences with prepositions.
54). My daughter's sweet hand on my back as I type this.
55). The enormous complexity of my eyeballs, and that they WORK. God, sheesh, how did you DO that??!!
56). Thinking about my 10th grade English teacher, Joan Howard, and how I still think of her almost every week.
57). Kim Basala and how she is so love-filled and fun. A smile from her sweet face can heal all wounds.
58). A selection of climate-appropriate clothes that I can select from each day.
59). Hobbies, like:
60). Sewing
61). ...painting,
62). ...running,
63). ...mountain biking,
64). ...tri-biking,
65). ...swimming in lakes with my son (Ally will probably join in this summer)
66). and canoeing with my kids
67). Fresh, clean sheets
68). Watching Guy smile at me without actually moving his mouth.
69). Listening to the leaves rustle on the quaking aspens in the back yard
70). French Park, Wild Meadows, and Baker Park trails.
71). The "block" button on Facebook so you don't even have to know if the mean people are still talking about you! Even though they haven't spoken to you personally in over a year.
72). The person who invented those wooden blinds where you just have to pull that string and they go up, or down, evenly! and you can lock them them in any position.
73). Automobiles
74). Fax machines were awesome when they came out, but now we can just...
75). Scan things! Like pictures and documents
76). Just how incredibly smart, smart phones are.
77). Bill Gates
78). black tinted mulch
79). gas powered lawn mowers
80). The sweet sound of Guy's greeting, as he just walked into the kitchen where I am sitting and said, "Hi, Honey."
81). Bibles with tabs or cut-outs so you know where the chapters are.
82). New International Version.
83). The tiny little taste I just had of Guy's homemade orange-zested cranberry sauce.
84). That he made enough to put on turkey sandwiches for the next few days. It is seriously de-LISH.
85). Pretty fabric
86). Being blessed with straight teeth.
87). Seeing that my kids got my teeth.
88). Minty toothpaste
89). smart wool socks
90). tinted windows (like in your car) on my house so that the rooms don't get too hot, and the furniture doesn't fade
90). Sneaking into Guy's sock drawer, trying on the engagement ring he's getting ready to give me, and not getting in trouble when I get caught. (hey! get outa there!!)
91). Being certain about saying, "yes."
92). Not having to work today - just spin, cook, relax with family, sip at a glass of chardonnay
93). Keeping an orchid alive.
94). The Chronicles of Narnia
95). When they have pickled beets on the salad bar.
96). Spinach
97). Blue cheese
98). Popcorn with butter
99). KTIS ministry radio.
100). Peace in my life.

Oh, my gosh! This is so fun! THERE IS TREASURE AND GIFTS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Thousand Gifts

2010-11-24T16:31:00.003-06:00

I just stumbled upon a blog from a fellow blogger's blogging buddy. It's called A Thousand Gifts. Basically you write down a thousand gifts... I think it's a beautiful idea! I am going to start right now.

1). The millions of snowflakes gently falling onto the deck furniture outside my kitchen window right now.
2). The sound of my kids' voices while they watch funny youtube videos in the next room.
3). The unending love and amazing Grace from my Savior.
4). The fact that He forgives me for not listing #3 first, when now that I think about it, it certainly should be #1!
5). The love showered on me from my soulmate, Guy. He truly possesses all the Fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22.
6). Those being Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. Those are ALL incredible gifts.
7). The fact that I can read and write.
8). The fact that my children can, as well.
9). The fact that, while my soul didn't do anything to deserve it, and it was only by the Grace of God, that I was born in a free country.
10). That I enjoy climate control pretty much everywhere I go. Not too hot, not too cold.
11). People with a sense of humor who make me laugh.
12). I have a small handful of friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.
13). That when I screw up, and I do a lot, I am given the opportunity to apologize and make it "right" again.
14). That we can disagree in America without getting shot, stoned, or burned with acid.
15). That my kids have a Christ-centered school that they love where they can express their faith openly.
16). Watching my kids singing along, hands raised, words memorized, to the worship songs at the Starfield concert a couple weeks ago.
17). That Guy surprised us with tickets to it. He is so thoughtful and romantic!
18). Gosh how I love Starfield.
19). And Chris Tomlin.
20). And the Newsboys.
21). And Toby Mac.
22). And how these bands have AWESOME running music that stirs your soul and supercharges your feet and you don't have to wait for it to "kick in" like you do with Gu or PowerGel.
23). That Guys parents are coming tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner.
24). That Guy's family has welcomed me and my kids like we were family all along.
25). People who trust God alone to be the judge.
26). That we are shown love and mercy by Him every day.
27). That He gets up every day and pursues ME, just forgettable ol' Jenny Moore. The God of the Universe seeks me! Can you believe that?! I am nothing, and He already has everything, but He still loves me enough to pursue me. I'm not "nothing" to Him. It's mind boggling.
28). That I have my health.
29). The white clouds moving across deep blue skies in June.
30). Watching tall, amber grasses blow in the wind.
31). My mountain bike.
32). Superior hiking Trail.
33). People who have artistic skill to make woven rugs, sturdy enough for walking on everyday and they look beautiful and pleasing year after year, anyway.
34). That I have a job.
35). That I understand compassion and can give freely, and I LIKE to, even when nobody else knows about it.
36). Twisted-peppermint scented lotion and body wash from Bath and Body Works.
37). That I can go to a number of spouts and get clean, microbe-free drinking water without even having to go outside or walk to a stream.
38). Silence.
39). People who I can be silent with, and it isn't awkward.
40). Guy's kisses. He kisses me like he loves me.
41). The way I can actually "see" Guy's soul when I look in his eyes.
42). That Guy SO fills my own heart with love, that I sometimes wish I could climb inside him for a day, to see what he sees, hear what he hears, and feel him talking.
43). Holding hands.
44). Watching friends I love, repeatedly and unfailingly and gracefully, take the "high road" when people are harsh and difficult with them. Carrie - I rarely get to see you, but you have no idea how much you inspire me.
45). The way Bobby just jumped up and ran to hug Guy when he walked in the door from work just now.
46). Seeing how much Guy loved it.
47). Seeing how much my kids like peace.
48). Honesty and Truthfulness.
49). Knowing the difference between genuineness and acting.
50). Realizing that genuineness is actually easier!

That is 50 already, and they just RATTLED off the keyboard all by themselves. I will take this challenge - it's fun! I think I will hit #1,000 before the end of 2010.

Who wants to join me?

Thank God for FCA posts :-)

2010-10-20T08:24:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful that I get these in my email every day. They bring me comfort and bring me close to God. I wouldn't want to worship a god who jut saw my sins and condemned me and gave me no hope for a future. I wouldn't believe in that god. I would believe in "myself" or in nothingness.

Mine is a god who loves, who asks us to love others, who shows mercy, who asks us to show mercy. He gives us a playbook, and we get most of the plays and try harder on the ones we have failed at. But He loves us and knows our hearts, and knows we try. He is never finished coaching us.

Many people go about their days, getting closer to a god who holds OTHERS accountable, but not themselves. In my opinion, then that god IS you.

I choose to let God be God. I am in no position to condemn anyone. I'm busy working on myself, and there is, and always will be lots of work to do!

Is God keeping score?
Tuesday, October 19th, 2010
READY:
“LORD, if You considered sins, Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness so that You may be revered.”
- Psalm 130:3-4

SET:
As a young baseball player, I found myself on the losing end of a lot of games. Many times my team had the mindset of losers, and our attitudes showed that we had lost the game long before the seventh inning. We went through the motions to the finish, but we were defeated long before the end of the game.

Perhaps many of us live as if God were keeping score, as if He has His own scoreboard with everyone’s name on it. One side lists “Good Works” and the other “Sins/Bad Things.” Can you imagine if eternal life depended on being perfect or trying to make sure all our good outweighed our bad? We would be like my little league team: living in defeat with no hope.
As a believer in Christ, are you tempted to think God is keeping score—that you have to do better in order for Him to love you? We may know intellectually that we are forgiven, but let’s think about the way we live. It’s normal for us to try to “prove ourselves” in life, especially in athletics. Perhaps you play or played for a coach you could never please. Breaking news! God is not keeping score, at least not for those who have put their faith in Him and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.
Psalm 130:4 says, “But with You there is forgiveness so that You may be revered.” Think about someone who showed you mercy. Maybe a coach or teacher who chose not to give you what you deserved. How did that make you feel? That is our God! If God were counting our iniquities, as the Psalmist says in verse 3, “who could stand?” We would suffer the ultimate defeat with no hope of eternal life! But Romans 5:8 says, “But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”
Why did Jesus die? Because we were hopeless losers, dead in our transgressions and sins, behind on the spiritual scoreboard by thousands of runs we could never erase. But God, in His mercy, sent His one and only Son to die in our place. We win! And the victory results in reverence or worship of Him. He wants our hearts and is merciful and compassionate to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Now that you know it, go out and live like a winner in Christ!

GO:
1. Can you think of an act of mercy you have received from a coach? How did you respond?
2. As an athlete or coach, have you ever been on a team with a losing attitude? How did you break a losing mindset? What difference does a winning mindset make on your team?
3. How can we practically live in a winning mindset with the assurance that God has forgiven us and is not keeping score?

WORKOUT:
1 Corinthians 15:57
Ephesians 2:8-10

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Derrill Martin is an FCA Area Director in St. Charles, Missouri. Click Here to check out his website

FCA DAILY IMPACT PLAY 10-15, 2010

2010-10-15T14:29:00.002-05:00

Each day I get an email from the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Today's was good enough to post on my blog, which I have been neglecting like a fading campfire, too. But the fire I like to keep stoking is the one within, which has grown warmer and more dynamic than ever.
Thank you, Jesus, for loving me, for showing me true love, for blessing me again and again and again. You are the way, the truth, and the life!
I am forever undeserving; and I need YOU, not the other way around, yet your love for me is blazing. Well, just so you know, Jesus, I love you back. More and more and more. You are the best comforter, the best listener, the best provider, the best rock to cling to, the best protector from darkness.

Here's the FCA message: I hope you like it and let your own fire start burning again for Jesus. He is also pursuing YOU every day. He loves you. Let Him!

"Without wood, fire goes out…”
-Proverbs 26:20a

SET:
Fall has always been a wonderful season for me. I love the leaves crunching and the beauty of the harvest sunsets. I enjoy sweatshirts and sweatpants and the warmth of an outdoor fire. In fact, campfires are one of my favorite things. I love the sound, the smell and the fellowship that usually comes with a good campfire.

Recently, this short, yet powerful, verse from Proverbs caught my attention. Proverbs 26:20a says, “Without wood, fire goes out.” Don’t you just love how the Bible can be so simple yet so profound?
When I read this verse, I thought, “Duh! Of course a fire dies out without wood.” And then the Lord rumbled inside my heart. He seemed to ask, “What are you fueling your fire with?” It was a great moment of conviction.
To keep our fire for the Lord, we must continually fuel it with good things—solid pieces of wood that will sustain our fire for Him.

At times, my fuel is like a dead twig. Am I lying? Gossiping? Having negative thoughts? Am I trying to fuel the fire with activities and duties for God instead of just getting to know Him better?

As an athlete or coach, am I fueling my fire with stats and scores instead of simply deepening my spiritual intimacy with the Lord through competition?
Each of us has to face these and many other issues in our own lives. But what I find amazing about the Lord is that He wants us to give Him all of our firewood, no matter how rotten, wet or small it might be. With it, He will bless each of us with a fire to warm the cold places in our hearts, a peace to calm our souls, and a comfort to know that when we give Christ our all He will enlighten us through His grace and mercy.
Today, may each of us give our fuel to the Lord, in whatever shape it may be and know that it will spark God’s great plan in our life!

GO:
1. What is fueling your spiritual fire?
2. Are you concerned that your offerings aren’t good enough for God?
3. Read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. What does this say to you about your personal offering to God? How does He want you to use what He’s given you?

WORKOUT:
Jeremiah 29:13
Matthew 25:14-30
Hebrews 11:6
1 Peter 3:11

And today's "I'm moving forward" comeback is...

2010-05-20T16:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's maiden ride left me sore along my sides. THAT's how out of shape I am.

So this morning I did 20 pushups. I'm not revealing if I did it all at once or not, but it was close. ;-)

Lana - I would love to do a trail run with you - what should we do?

First Road bike ride in 2010!

2010-05-19T21:51:00.000-05:00

... finally FINALLY got outside for a ride. It's been the most beautiful weather in MN this spring and I see thousands of runners and bikers out and get jealous. Today I was one of them!
Stefanie, who we carpool with for swim team, drove the kids to practice, so Guy and I had an hour or so to ride before we had to go pick them all up. We rode up to Fletcher and back from Medina - it was lovely. I can't wait to get my bike legs back and start doing it regularly.
I'm still swamped every day with paperwork, near-daily surprises in the mailbox, and I sell Coke at gas stations, so on a nice day like we've been having lately, the sales can double on Coke and Powerade and vitaminwater... so it's been SO busy.

But I got my butt on my bike and rode.

Ahhhhhhh.

First run in....

2010-05-16T13:36:00.000-05:00

... weeks and weeks. I joined my nieghbor Susan and all the other ladies from kettlebell class for a 5 mile run. I think it was just the right distance for my fist day back. It's a gorgeous day here in MN today - about 70 degrees, clear, gently breezy. We think we averaged about 9:40's, so I guess I can say that in two months you don't atually lose much speed. But I do admit I was ready to stop when we did.

Then the kids and I went to church at the later service. It was about how we are all sinners, every last one of us. We all need a Savior. I am so thankful I have one!

When we got home, Guy was back form running the Superior 50K. I wished so much I could have done it. But I hear it was very muddy... Guy actually lost a shoe in the mud, and had to run almost an hour to the next aid station with one shoe. How lame he felt sitting there, poking in the mud with a stick and trying to locate the shoe before giving up! See what I mean about trail running being a different kind of adventure? I don't know of anyone who ever ran out of their shoe and lost it. Ha!

October 10, 2009

2009-10-10T09:11:00.080-05:00

Superior 50 Miler.

So I told you all already that I felt like I needed to try the next big thing. I loved marathon - still do. I loved Ironman - still do. I loved time trial bike racing - still do. But I missed that underlying FEAR - kind of a "driving" fear - that I am unsure of myself or my ability, or that I can actually DO a particular thing. That uncertainty is kind of a sick draw, perhaps, but it's in me so there you go.

A year ago a group of us (Merilee, Diane, Marty, Chae, Holly, Kari, Guy and I) did the Whistlestop Marathon up in Ashland, Wisconsin. It's on a gravel trail, completely in the forest. As we sat around at dinner, we drew up on napkins what we were going to do next. We talked about joining Marathon Maniacs (a group you can belong to if you do back-to-back marathons - I've done 4 in 5 weekends so I'm good there) or the 50-States Club (you can join when you've done 10 states). I still may join those groups but it's not "scary" for me; it's just fun.

Well, into fall and winter, my running partner Guy started trail running more with Helen and the Igors, Kami, Tanya, Normal Eric and Crazy Erik - all former marathon and Ironman friends of ours. He kept tellling me how much I'd love it. So as spring rolled around, he and I signed up for the Trail Mix 25K with Becca and Maggie. I've done it a couple times with those (super fun) sisters, and it's been hard for me. It felt like all my energy dissipated into the grass while I ran and I felt slow and weak. I was ready for it to be over long before we actually finished and --- wait a sec!! -- it was HARD for me -- I wondered if I could finish an even LONGER trail run.

And so began the quest to attempt long distance trail running. I started going to the Hyland ski jump to do hill training with Guy and the others. I could barely make it up the ski lift once. But we'd do between five and ten reps, just running as far as I could, then walking the rest of the way up (which I have to say was equally hard), run all the way down, then back up. It was GREAT training.

When Guy did the Chippewa 50K (31.5 miles) in the spring with Helen, Kami and Normal Eric (all of them seasoned trail runners), all I heard from Guy was "That was the single hardest thing I've ever done. I swear I could not have gone another yard. You've gotta try it"

That was all I needed to hear - sign me up for something!! So I signed up for the Afton 50K. It was local and many of my friends were doing it (or the 25K). Guy and I started out together, but it was 4th of July, and hot, and by mile 18 Guy was overheated and TOAST, so I ran ahead. (Love ya, Guy, but... see ya at the finish!) I felt great the whole way, negative splitting and finishing 11th overall woman, and 4th in my division (Masters - ok, now you all know I'm 47, not the 24 you thought I was).

Helen and Tanya and Crazy Erik and Kevin were all at the finish and they were so proud of me! I learned that Helen won - she wins a lot. Helen if you read this I have to tell you I am so proud of you, too! I remember way, way back in the day when you were slow as me and we used to run on the roads together back when Dan Finanger was our coach, and then I remember taking pics of you when you did your first Ironman, and how proud of you I was then... and now look at you - you are so inspiring and so strong and such an encouragement to everyone around you. You've become something of a legend in the ultra world, yet you are the same sweet, grounded person.

Anyway, I loved Afton 50K, but didn't get that "I-wonder-if-I-can-even-finish-this-thing" FEAR. So Guy and I signed up for the Superior 50 MILE trail run. When we went up there to do a 25 mile training run, boy did I have my hat handed to me. This is no normal, level, gravel trail. It's boulder scrambling, it's clinging onto trees, it's running through grasses that are as high as your underarms and you can't see the rocky terrain that your delicate feet and ankles are even running on, it's way up north in the middle of nowhere - no other humans, no cell service, sketchy-if-any Garmin reception, bears and other critters... if you sprained your ankle or got mauled by a bear, I honestly do not know how you'd get back to your car. It's scary. It was just what I was looking for. ;-)

RACE DAY
So Guy and I arrive, check in, get our gear bags dropped off and head over to the Athlete Meeting the night before. As we are looking around, I do see a small number of people we know including another trail-newbie, former-Ironman named Chad Milner. We chat for a bit and I start to pick up on the fact that, Bored Ironmen Seek The Trails. Other than Chad, Vale and the rest of the former marathoner/Ironmen friends from home, I don't know anyone. (yeah - that's the hardest part to believe :-)). We look around and I KNOW we're not at Ironman or a road marathon. There is no sea of vendors, no expo, no sound system playing Eye of the Tiger, no shaved legs, no hotel banquet room with free food for the meeting, etc.
I ask Guy if I should ask for a show of hands of all the Republicans. He laughs. It's just a different crowd. Not a bad crowd, just kind of a Bohemian crowd. I may be totally off on that, but it's the impression I got. I've never seen beards that reach your chest at Ironman, and that is definitely common on the trails.

We learn that there are 75 people registered for the 50 mile race and that there is one bus (capacity 42) to drive us all to the start. We sit two and three to a seat and some people had to stand for the 50 mile ride in the morning. I was thankful that some people decided to drive themselves to the start. Guy and I sleep some more on the early morning drive. When we get to the start line, it is 6:00 a.m., pitch black, there is no artificial lighting, there are two ancient outhouses without toilet paper, and that's it. I don't want to sound all high maintenance and stuff, but, well... maybe I am a little high maintenance.

There is no singing of the National Anthem, there is no announcer getting us all pumped up... it's just the race director in his foot-long beard and headlamp telling us, "OK, Go!"

And we were off. That's it. Very simple. Very different.

The trail was single track the whole way, so we started in trains of runners. But everybody was very friendly and every now and then the front runners would shout out, "anyone wanna pass?" and then you had an opportunity to say, "yes, please." Everybody is very polite and welcoming to newbies.

The first aid station was at the 8 mile mark. I'm only carrying one bottle because in my mind I'm thinking that's about an hour or so. Uh, no. It takes about two hours or so to cover 8 miles of trail. Guy had two water bottles, one in each hand, and I was thankful for that because he shared his second bottle with me. (Those of you who remember that I had heart surgery in October of 2007 know that I can't get dehydrated or else my heart starts freaking out. I still have a spot about the size of a quarter on the back wall of my heart that interrupts my electrical system and rhythm. I've learned that keeping well-hydrated at ALL times has improved the situation. Anyway, I'm not sure if Guy's just really nice, or if he figured sharing his water with me was a better option than having to wait for paramedics in the middle of nowhere for a few hours until somebody missed us.) So back to my story, I was glad to see the aid station. There were fabulous volunteers with sandwiches, potatoes, chips, candies... I totally wanted to stick around longer! But we changed into dry socks and we were on our way.

When we started on our second leg, we were either ahead of or behind our long train of runners and found ourselves alone the rest of the day. It was beautiful and peaceful. And hilly and rocky and craggy! By about mile 15 (about 4 hours into the race) Guy and I are both struggling. His hamstring was pulling really badly, and my knee is KILLing me on the downhills, which by now we are walking sideways. I was wondering why I felt I needed to test myself. Wasn't I a good enough athlete already? I cry "uncle!" and wonder what the HELL I am even doing here.

And then I realize I have THIRTY-FIVE more miles to go.

Look at this pic to the left - Can you see how steep these climbs are?? This guy got here by climbing the rocks on the left side of the picture, not that grassy place on the right... you climb over the boulders. I'm completely serious.

At mile 17 Guy knows he has to DNF. I know he has to, too. This is a guy who never feels any pain, and I can hear him behind me quietly grunting from time to time. And did I tell you the terrain was rocky? Well, we both repeatedly fell. When he'd fall and then take a long, long pause before getting up... well, I just knew (for a couple hours by now) that he was in serious trouble.

At the 21 mile station he reluctantly pulled out of the race. He gave me his extra water bottle (I canNOT even tell you how I would be grateful for that the rest of the day.)
I hugged him good-bye very quickly, and ran ahead before he could see that I was crying, and thinking, "How am I going to finish this by myself? He's the one who knows where all our gear is, he's the one who knows what I should change into, he's the one who read the map and knows how far to each aid station and how long it will take to get there and where the big climbs are and how many miles between them, etc. Besides, I am truly, truly terrified of bears (honestly - I have reccurrent dreams of bears jumping out of forests and pushing me off my bike or cornering me in places I can't escape from) and there are millions of them in this forest and I am completely alone now and if I get mauled, no one, no one will ever know. I will just be dragged off the trail and eaten and I hope I bleed to death with the first swipe so I don't KNOW I'm being eaten and won't my kids miss me terribly and will they be OK growing up without a mom, and will the members of Medina Country Club forever talk about "poor Jenny Moore who was eaten by a bear and how her poor kids grew up without a mom." (UGH!!! Could you imagine having these kinds of thoughts for the rest of the day???? Or worse -- running with someone who's having these thoughts all day?? Guy was LUCKY he pulled out of the race! Someone save me from myself and my silly phobia!!! ;-)

Anyway, I hit the fourth or fifth aid station in the late afternoon and saw a familiar face - it was Steve Quick who is a friend of Guy's. I met him at the Afton 50K. He remembered me and was asking how I was doing and he was getting me food and filling my water bottles - Thank you Steve!! - and I was telling him it was harder than I thought and I was asking him if he thought I was going to make the cut-off and he was confident I would and I really can't remember anything else other than I felt less alone because I actually recognized somebody. It had already been a long, long day, alone out there. And now it was raining and it was muddy and there was no where to run but in the muddy singletrack, in soaking wet muddy feet.

I made the cut off at 5:45 p.m. At 7:00 p.m. they pull you from the race. From this point on I knew I was golden. Heck, I could walk the rest of the way if I wanted to. I had stubbed my left big toe no fewer than 30 times at this point so I DID consider walking in, but it was going to get dark soon, and in the dark I wouldn't even SEE the bear before he grabbed me off the trail. So I ran.

I ran, and ran, and ran.

As dusk approached every tree trunk or shadow was a bear. In front of me, to my left, behind me, to my right. I was seriously making myself crazy by now. I was re-stubbing my left toe repeatedly and ... well, let me explain it this way -- the first time I stubbed it, it completely lifted the nail from the nail bed. I wanted to scream. Now try to imagine how that toe felt all the subsequent 45 times I stubbed it. But I scrambled on. Stumbling, stubbing, falling, getting back up... I am certain I looked crazed but I just had to get to the finish line. It was completely pitch dark by now and I'm tired and I'm crying and I'm trying NOT to cry because it just made it hard to breathe and I was figuring Oberg mountain had to be about a 40-50 degree climb -- all I know is it's much steeper than the stairs in my house -- and it just went on, and on, and on, and on.

When I saw a bonfire in the distance I knew that had to be the hotel. That had to be it. It had to be over. I hit a gravel trail and suddenly a body appeared in front of me and it was not a bear - it was a friendly man whose voice was telling me it's between a quarter and a half a mile. I sprinted. I sprinted right past the little turn to the finish. (Remember how I told you earlier that trail races are really low key and I'm really high maintenance? Well, I kinda need a volunteer or somebody to tell me in the darkness where to turn.) I was following some guy who kept assuring me we were going the right way, even as the hotel bonfire got farther and farther away until I couldn't see it anymore. I finally turned around and headed back. This guy and I ended up running an extra mile or so.

But when I realized I was back on track and it was REALLY almost over, he and I both sprinted to the finish and ended up with a 13:50:00. It was over! I saw people!! Suddenly Helen (who won the marathon after staying up to 3am pacing Normal Eric in the 100 miler - Helen you are truly amazing) was there hugging me and taking my picture and there was Crazy Erik and Laura and Vale (who won the 50 miler!!), and the race director's wife was giving me my medal... and then finally I saw Guy who hobbled over and gave me a big hug. I was so happy to see him after separating in the forest in what seemed like DAYS ago.

I had a sandwich and a beer and then later found out that I finished 2nd in my division (Masters) and got a plaque. Finishing was enough - podium was just icing.

We watched the other finishers come straggling in for a little while - let me tell you most of the people who did the 100 miler looked like complete zombies. I absolutely cannot fathom how they did that. Crazy Erik did it in 36 hours. I was so proud of him! Although I can tell you that he later woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, passed out and hit his face on the sink or the toilet. He struggled to drive home the next day. Laura (his squeeze) escorted him home safely though.

So there you have it. Ultra trail running is NOT road marathoning. I'm glad I did it. I will do another.

October 31st there is a 50 miler here in the suburbs. With cell service, and medical professionals just a phone call away, and no bears.

I'm in.

T-minus four days to Superior 50 miler!

2009-09-08T05:43:00.000-05:00

Ok I admit I'm nervous. But excited at the same time.
When Guy and I did 25 miles of the actual course a couple weeks ago, the conditions were perfect (sunny, crisp, cool - ok freezing at the finish, but we learned from that!)... and now the forecast for race day is 45 at the start, 40% chance of rain, going up to 60 during the day, and 50 degrees at the finish. That'll feel pretty cold if we've been soaking wet for 15 hours!
So now all our planning needs to be adjusted for more warn dry clothes, more attention to chafing products, more attention to our clothes being in waterproof containers...
According to our pace times on our trial day, we ran 15 minute miles during the day. We were HAULING ass because it was getting dark and we needed to get to the headlamps and long sleeves that we'd stashed in the grass at the checkpoint. So based on that pace, we are scheduled to arrive at the last cutoff (43.2 miles) at 6:00 p.m. Anyone who arrives there after 7:00 p.m. is pulled from the course with a DNF. So we only have one hour to spare. That's cutting it a little close for me but it is what it is! You just can't go any faster. If you think 15 minute miles is slow -- you'll be impressed to know that the best we could do once it got dark was 21 minute miles.... this is a whole different animal from road running!

Above is our team photo from the 24 hour mountain bike race. The first two on the left are Reese and Laurie - they did the two person co-ed team - they came in 3rd place. The four to the right are my team - Kraig, Chuck, me and Guy. We did the 4-person coed team and we also placed 3rd in our division.

24 hours at Afton on Team NewMart

2009-08-30T09:57:00.012-05:00

My confidence exceeds my ability. That is my personal lesson for this weekend as I did my first mountain bike race.

Friday afternoon I headed over to Afton Ski Area with my training partner, Guy, to meet up with the rest of our team and get our campsite/ pit area set up and staged. We found Chuck (our team captain and a customer of mine - he owns a couple convenience stores called NewMart, and one of my account managers is his Coke rep) and Kraig already set up. So we set up our tent next to theirs on the hard gravel. The weather was cool and it felt more like a fall weekend than a late summer weekend. I was a little nervous because I only learned how to mountain bike 6 or 8 weeks ago. I later learned from the other mountain bikers that this is one of, if not THE, toughest mountain bike course in the whole state.

The race started at 5pm and I rode the first loop. Basically, each team (or solo rider) does as many loops of a nine-mile course as you can in 24 hours; the one who does the most loops wins.

It's at the ski area, so you pedal up and down the mountain along the single track bush-whacking trails, and traverse across the ski runs. Up and down and over; up and down and over; up and down and over. The switchbacks are very tight and steep. Taking them too fast scares the living daylights out of you because you can see how steep the fall is at the immediate edge of the track you are trying to ride in. But if you take them too slow, you tip over and then you have to push your bike up. If you take them way too slow, you tip over and tumble down the mountain.. Thankfully, there are lots of bushes and saplings to break most of your fall, so I never fell more than 20 or so feet down. But I fell down repeatedly. I actually cried at one point.

I should describe the fall because it's kind of interesting. It starts out in really slow motion. You definitely have time to pray. But the impact(s) come much faster and your bike falls over and over with you. Eventually you realize that one of the crash landings has forced your feet to clip out of your pedals and at some point you stop moving. You assess the damage to your limbs and butt and if they're all still there you thank God; now you just have to find your bike. Which is tricky at night if your headlamp comes unplugged during the fall and you can't figure out how to plug it back in because it's DARK out. Then you climb back up through through the brush, dragging your bike, and relocate the trail. Then you push your bike up the mountain, along the the very track that was so steep you fell off of it, to a place level enough to remount. You might have to straighten your saddle and handlebars, but you're good to go.

When you make it back to the bottom, you tag off with a teammate and then you can rest for 3 hours. And so it goes all night and all the next day.

Our team ended up finishing in 3rd place (out of 4 teams), so we did collect some nice schwag.

This morning I got up feeling like I've been beat up by the roller derby team. I have bruises everywhere: my triceps, hips, quads, kneecaps, shins, shoulders... even my coolie took a beating when I was bombing down a hill, couldn't get clipped back in, and so my legs were flying and I was bouncing off my saddle. Seriously. This is what I assume it feels like the day after for boxers, only it's all-over. I don't do contact sports! I didn't even play basketball or volleyball! But there is something alluring about these trails and I WILL go back out again.

I didn't bring a camera, but I think my teammates have some pics. If I get them I'll share them.

I was looking for the next challenge after marathon and Ironman and I definitely think I found it!

It's ultra trail running and mountain biking. Both of these are pushing me where I have never, ever, ever been. I have had to dig deeper. If I don't, there is no sag wagon on the side of the road; there is no cell service; there is no hollering for help; there is no biking over to the gas station for Powerade or other fuel. It is JUST YOU out there.

It's my new passion, and my first step in my attempt to master it is to change my name to SingletrackJenny. Ya like it?

August 2, 2009

2009-08-02T20:29:00.003-05:00

Where has Jenny Moore been???

I haven't posted in weeks and weeks, But I raced my first triathlon in a YEAR last weekend. It was the Chisago Half Ironman. I placed second in my age group, which is the same placement I had at this race the last three years, so I guess I am happy about that. Ya know you can't ever complain about podium finishes! But I was particularly pleased that I PR'd this time. Last year I PR'd here with a 5:18; this year I PR'd again with my first ever sub-5 hour -- a 4:59:28. Naturally I was pumped about that! I had a bunch of friends racing it, and my trail running partner taking pictures, so it was a perfect day from the course as well as from the sidelines! My bike split registered 21.0 mph over the 56 miles and my half marathon was 1:49 - also a PR for that distance on any course - stand-alone or in a multisport race for me.

I have only one more triathlon on my calendar - Ironman Cozumel in November. After that I only have Ironman Wisconsin in 2010. I think this time I mean it when I say I'm ready to move on to the next big thing, which for me is trail ultras and mountain biking. I have LOVED triathlon and the people and I will maintain many, many friendships. I'm not selling my tri bike (because I WANT to keep it -- even though it's a piece of dinosaur shit all-aluminum-with-a-bad-to-begin-with-but-now-chipped-too-paint-job-with-650-wheels-heck-it-never-even-fit-me-properly bike), but I am going to keep it and just hang it in my garage for a while and give my SWEET mountain bike some wheel-time.

Speaking of my sweet mountain bike, it's a Giant XTC and I got it at Brickyard Bikes in Chaska MN. Jeremy Baker is the owner and a serious gear-head/ bike-mechanic kind of guy who also heads up our Fellowship of Christian Athletes in the western suburbs. GREAT guy, GREAT shop. He gave me a GREAT deal and GREAT fitting and I am in love with my Giant XTC bike in a way that I am almost embarrassed to write about. Give me a minute until I'll compose myself, re-open my eyes and continue posting.

OK.

Deep breathing.

Final heavy sigh.

I'm good.

Let me just say I love my bike. I love the mountain bike trails. I love how there are boulders the size of microwaves and severed heads in the middle of these dirty single-track trails and you just kind of hop over them as you go along. The trees on either side of the trail give you maybe 30 inches clearance and your handlebars take up about 24 inches of that. And you are twisting and turning and going fast on various terrain like pineneedles and dust and mud and grass and holes where turltles laid their eggs and slabs of granite. I have bruises I can't show people and scrapes on my arms and shins.

It. Is. Cool.

It just is.

And you have to check for ticks when you get home.

My first race will be at the end of August. It's called "24 hours at Afton"' and teams of four ride a nine mile loop at the ski area and whichever team makes the most loops wins. I have Guy (my trail training partner who has been mountain biking for 30 years), my customer Chuck (super serious mountain biker who travels all over the country to race) and his best friend Kraig (who is even more serious than HE is) on my team. Yeah - I asked myself the same question - what are they doing with Jenny Moore, right??? I have NO IDEA!!! But they invited me and I said yes and I'm going to love it I am sure! So I have been on my bike FIVE times and I still think I'll be ready. Ready enough to let them "carry" me anyway!

RUNNING

I think I have 11 or 12 marathon-or-longer races this year, but they, too are morphing into trails rather than road. Yesterday I did a 30 mile gravel-trail run for charity. It started out as 28 miles, but ended up at 29.8, so we had to run the extra .2 to make it an even number. (Don't even start - you know you would have run the extra too because you are just as anal as I am!)

And a couple weeks before that I ran the Afton Trail Run 50K - it was awesome!!!! It was 12,000 feet of climbing - up and down and up and down... It took me 6 hours and 10 minutes. But I LOVED it. Trail running is so different from road marathoning - there are a bunch of hippies who do it! Shirtless guys with long beards, and there is no "corralling" of athletes at the start - everybody just sort of shows up at the trail head and the race director says, "OK, everyone have a good race.... Go!" No national anthem, no balloons to run under, no chute of picture-taking family members.

It's different.

It just IS.

But I still have Twin Cities Marathon and the Des Moines Marathon this year -- they are part of my training plan for Ironman Cozumel.

But my A race for the year will be the Superior 50 mile Trail Run in September. It's FIVE points of contact in some places - two hands, two feet, and your butt -- as you scale car-sized boulders. It's crossing streams on fallen trees and clinging to brush so you don't slide off the mountain. From what I hear we should be happy to hold a steady 14-minute mile. How fun does that sound?!?!?! We will cover much of the course in the dark, so I need some nighttime trail runs to prepare. Last year 35 people finished it. There is also a 100 miler for those of you who didn't get enough!

Bedtime for me. If anybody still even reads this blog, thanks! You can more easily keep up with me on Facebook.....

xoxoxo

Jenny

May 17, 2009

2009-05-17T08:05:00.008-05:00

Gorgeous weekend here in Minneapolis.

Yesterday it was way too cool and breezy to bike .... OK, "gusty" and 29 degree windchill, so we switched the bike and the run and that was a great choice. So Saturday, my running partner Guy and I drove over to Afton Ski Area to run 19.5 miles of trails. It was beautiful! Especially the single-track snowshoeing trails. Had to check for ticks when I got home, but small price to pay for running smack dab in the middle of nature. ;-) Now I know why Carrie always gets out on the trails - it's a completely separate sport from road running.

And while I find it much more difficult than road running, I am definitely getting better. Yesterday I felt 100% more confident than I did last week, so that is good.

I am also back in the pool - honestly! It's been almost three months since my last swim. But I went on Thursday for 33 minutes, and today for 40 minutes. I feel a little awkward, but it'll come back.

Today it was 60 degrees and clear with mild winds, so we rode 72 miles. We were joined by Julie and Cathy (who is between me and Jen L, below):

....who both raced the Gear West Duathlon this morning... they did great!! Julie came in 6th place overall, and Cathy WON! She and Marlo were in a foot race to the finish, and Cathy just out-chipped her... by .001 seconds. Seriously! I'm so happy for both of you! Way to go.

So AFTER their race, they joined us for about 25 miles of our ride. We were a pack of fourteen at the start, and 5 at the 72 mile mark (where I bailed.) Then Jen and Erik went ahead and did the last 28 miles for an even 100. Good job everybody!!

(Below are Julie, Jen and Erik)

Between playing with the kids, helping Ally sew a dress, running trails, swimming laps, biking, doing chores, going to church, having a nice dinner at the country club and sleeping, the weekend flew by. It always does.

Have a good one everybody.

xoxoxo

Tonight's Run

2009-05-11T20:23:00.004-05:00

Tonight I went for a trail run with my iPod. And no people -- very, very weird for me!

Bobby had a headache, so he bailed on me; jPod had a choir concert in which he had a solo, so he bailed. And of course Guy had to go with jPod because he's his DAD. But I actually enjoyed the solitude for a change. I'd loaded up a bunch of new songs and the time just flew by.

Much as I love marathoning, the rest of my run training will likely be on trails for the rest of the season because I am doing my first ultras this year - a 50K in July and a 50 miler in September... both on mountains, and both on trails. Anyway, trail running is NOTHING like road running. It's so much harder and so much slower! And any conditioning I thought I had on the roads does not translate to the trails. I went just over 8 miles and it took me about 1:22, for an average speed of 10:58.... and I though I was working hard!

But it is also prettier:

... and it smells nicer...

... and the creeks have little animals running around near them...

But it's just so technically foreign. Here are a few things I learned so far:

1). All your energy dissipates into the dirt or wood chips or grass, so you have to work harder for a push-off every step.

2). Going downhill is an exercise in lowering your center of gravity and using your big quad muscles to support you. If you allow your feet to take the impact... well, lets just say I didn't have to do that more than once or twice. (youch!!) You also have to LIFT your knees a little even though you are stepping LOWER. Hard to explain, but it softens your landing.

3). You trail shoes can't fit like your road shoes. All that roomy comfort I enjoy in my road shoes will leave me with blistery feet, I can tell that already.

4). Roomy shoes also means that you will actually step right out of your shoes on the uphills.

5). You can't take your eyes off the ground unless you're not afraid of tripping or jamming your toes ..... because you really don't know what's underneath all those leaves.

6). It's really pretty out there.

That's what I know so far. If I think of any other gems of trail running tips, I will pass them along!

Goodnight everybody. xoxoxo

Fargo Marathon and Mother's Day

2009-05-10T16:04:00.011-05:00

Friday

... was a busy day at work and I was feeling nervous ALL day. Like if-I-held-out-my-hand-it-was-shaking, kind of nervous. I'm not sure why: maybe because I had only slept about 3.5 hours that night because Bobby had a school project that he'd neglected until Thursday night and needed my help for, so I was helping him while actually trying to concentrate on what I needed to pack for Fargo, I had a bunch of reports to collect data for and submit before leaving work on Friday, and I had wanted to duck out early as possible so I wouldn't get caught in a bunch of Fishing Opener traffic, and I needed to meet IronGreg on the highway somewhere on the way out of town because IronLaura had forgotten her running shoes and we had races on Saturday, and my "tire air pressure" light was on in my Tahoe. Arghhh! So many balls in the air! But I did manage somehow to get it all finished and was on the road at 2:35 p.m.

Laura and I stayed at her mom Betty's house. As soon as I got there we went to the grocery and liquor stores and then just hung out at the house.

Exhale.

Ahhhh - the medicinal benefits of Summit Pale Ale, talking and chilling out.

And laughing. I don't know why, but we can laugh about everything, including (ok maybe especially) ourselves. We were falling off the chairs at one point. Ask Laura to tell you about the neighbor's dog; and the story about Greg at the IHOP. OMIGOSH - especially the IHOP story. ("[ringing cell phone] Can you please bring me some paper towels?") I can hardly type this I'm still laughing so hard. It is the best story. And "Brian's shoes". Sigh. Laughter is good. Especially in light of all else that's been going on in the past few months. I love you so much, Laura!

Saturday

Fargo Marathon

So we got to the FargoDome about 30 minutes before the start. IronKaren (and baby Violet on board!!) and Betty sherpa'd all our gear and cheered us on.

Lots of Laura's friends from Fargo also ran the half marathon. Here is Krysta - you may remember her from the wedding pictures. She was a bridesmaid back in November at Laura and Greg's wedding.

It was a great day for a run. 40 degrees and cloudy, breezy, but not gusty. The course was two loops and fast. All my friends had bailed on the full marathon due to injury, pregnancy, new job etc., so I was running alone. This was my 30th marathon and I can't remember EVER running by myself! But a flurry of txt messages from my cool, collected, always-says-just-the-right-thing running partner at home, Guy, as well as a bunch of others calmed me down and I put my game face on. It looked like a great day to go for a Boston Qualifier. I prayed at the start, the gun went off and so did I.

I felt great from the first mile. At about the 4th I started running with a soldier carrying a flag. We got to talking and I told him about Robert, one of our tight circle of friends whom I ran Fargo with last year, but who is in Basra right now. I was going to ask if I could carry the flag for a bit in his honor, but then he told me that his friend was just killed in Iraq and he was carrying the flag for HIM. So I just started crying and I think he felt bad and then he promised that MY soldier would come home but I just said I was really sorry and then backed off and let him run ahead instead. I can't cry and run. And Robert IS coming home. He just is. I can't even go there.

One of my account managers, Dustin, was there and cheered for me a couple of times, and I saw Karen and Betty a couple times. But otherwise, it was quiet. Here are my splits. They look pretty consistent, eh???:

1). 9:14

2). 9:15

3). 9:18

4). 9:02

5). 8:56

6). 8:50

7). 8:58

8). 8:56

9). 9:07

10). 9:07

11). 9:00

12). 8:59

13). 8:57

14). 8:54

15). 9:38 (lightening fast potty stop)

16). 9:00

17). 9:02

18). 8:52

19). 8:48

20). 9:03

21). 9:00

22). 9:12

23). 9:07

24). 8:57

25). 8:49

26.2). 10:38

Total 3:56:54

So that's a BQ, and my personal best ever for this distance. I felt great all the way to the finish.

Here are a couple of friends I ran into on the course: Jonny Jensen (in green), is the the trainer who hosts the inSANE spin classes I've posted about.

After the race we took showers and then headed out to a barbecue at Krysta's house with a bunch of other friends who raced the half or full.

... and I had my first Wonder Woman shots. I need to get the recipe because they are great! It's "X-rated" (whatever that is) and some kind of blue energy drink, so it's purple, but so dang TASTY. I think I sipped at three of them.... between rum-and-Cokes, Jason's homemade beer, and a Mike's Hard Lemonade that we toasted Robert with (that's his beverage of choice). We went to a concert at the FargoDome to listen to a cover band - they were good, but I don't remember their name. It was getting to be a long day, so we went home and straight to bed.

Sunday

Then I drove home this morning a little hungover. But what a great race! It couldn't have gone any better for me. I received lots of Mother's Day txts and calls, and when I got home I was so happy to see my kids!!! They were sleeping out in the tent in the back yard, but they were thrilled I was home. They and Bob gave me a new blender, a couple of plants, and Bobby had written me a prayer. I also got flowers, candy and a card from Robert in Iraq. Debbie Clift and I are like his two moms - always looking after him, trying to set him up, sending him cookies and videos, etc. That was so sweet of him to remember us! I hope you are all writing him. His address is on his facebook page.

Anyway, Ally ended up at a friend's house and Bobby and I laid out in the tent for about an hour just snuggling and talking. The cool breeze was blowing through the screens and we just talked. I can't believe I have an eleven year old son. I love him so much and feel so blessed by so many wonderful people and so "much" in my life. Sometimes it's easy to get frustrated and disappointed with the usual stuff I struggle with, but all I really need to do is look in my kid's eyes from time to time and the whole world makes sense again.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms. And thank you so much to all of you who thought of me today.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxxo

May 2, 2009

2009-05-02T13:30:00.002-05:00

WORK

Well, the one thing I have to say about going back to work is that the weeks just FLY by. I can't believe I've been with Coca Cola for 6 weeks already.

It's a blast.

The people are top drawer - every one of them from the VP to the managers to the drivers to the merchandisers -- everyone who touches our product in whatever role, does so because they WANT to. The culture is that of a team and everybody wants to win. And they also want each other to win. Seriously, I keep thinking something must be up because there is no way any corporation could have assembled such a fun, competitively friendly group of winners all under one roof. People are working; I'm not saying it's all playtime, but all day you hear people laughing and having fun while they are aggressively pursuing the competition and opening new accounts. I could not love a job more than the one I have.

Below is my boss on the left, and his (our) boss on the far right. In the bike clothes is Chuck, the owner of one of our best convenience retail accounts, NewMart/ Marathon Gas in Eagan. He is a big shot mountain biker and was out on a training ride and stopped by. See? Everyone's always having fun at Coke! How many of your clients choose "your office" as their destination on a training ride???!!!

I rode with Chuck and his family and friends in the MN Ironman Bike Ride last weekend. Below is a pic of me on Chuck's brother's bike -- he actually rode this baby in the race.... eliciting laughs and smiles from everyone who passed us. It was about 40 degrees and pouring rain, but it was still fun. Sort of like being on the Survivor show. I mean, there were buckets of near freezing water pouring on our heads for 3 hours. But I'm still glad I did it!

TRAIL RUNNING

I will be doing my first Ultra trail runs this year (31 mile and 50 mile), so I'm working on getting a lot of training on that terrain. Road running totally doesn't translate! Becca, Maggie, Guy and I did the 25K Trail Mix a couple weeks ago and it was so hard! It's really hilly, and the spring from your steps dissipates into the grass or dirt, so I find it very difficult. Not that Guy wanted to intimidate me, but he did tell me that the terrain for our upcoming trail races is way WAY more technical than Trail Mix. So I am doing more trails to prepare.

Below are Bobby and jPod, who joined me on a one hour run last week. Guy had just returned from his Ultra Marathon in Chippewa and was recovering, so he just walked the trails with his camera, but the boys and I ran. We have a really beautiful park system here in Minnesota. This is at Wolsfeld Woods in Orono.

Speaking of jPod, he's a hockey goalie (that season is just wrapping up now) and he had a great game last night.... at least 45 saves! Way to go jPod!!! Here he is enjoying a very wise selection for his recovery drink. It's what all the best athletes drink and of course it's made and owned by Coca Cola. ;-) Thanks, Jeremy. You can have your dollar now.

BIKING

Friday night I rode with Cathy and the crew from the Lifetime Bike Club. This is me with Normal Eric. (We already have a Crazy Eric in our club, so when this Eric joined we had to name him Normal Eric. I think he's OK with it). Anyway, he and Guy ran the Chippewa Ultra last weekend together. He's also a great biker and I'm riding with him tomorrow (Sunday for 3 hours).

Today (Saturday) I rode with 5 girlfriends for 53 miles. It took us 3:03 of ride time, but almost 4 hours total because we stopped at gas stations to refuel, and Laura had to fix a flat. Was a beautiful day!! I was pretty beat because I did a one hour kettleball class beforehand (it's way too hard for me!!) Anyway, our ride was great - our fastest 5-mile split was 21.8 mph!

Now I am heading to a trunk show for some much needed shopping, then off to IronTim and IronKaren's house for a barbecue. Feels like it's summer already.

Have a great day everybody.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Good job, Bobby!!

2009-04-20T20:23:00.002-05:00

OK, I just can't believe how fast Bobby is getting. Here are his splits from his 10K training run tonight:

1- 10:12

2 - 10:01

3 - 10:18

4 - 9:51

5 - 9:17

6 - 9:10

.2 - 1:32

TOTAL: 1:00:24

... and he's only 10 years old. Nice negative split, son!

Surprise visit from Robert!!

2009-04-19T10:24:00.007-05:00

Robert came home for a couple of days!

He's been in Washington state for two months, training and otherwise preparing to re-deploy back to Iraq for his second tour of duty. We've really missed him, so it was awesome to have him here, even if only for a couple days.

Here he is flanked by his two Minnesota "moms"... Debbie Clift and me.

... here he is with one of his training partners, Anthony. He's from Kenya and he is way too fast for me to train with, but he is the coolest guy ever and one day we are going to climb Kilimanjaro together. He and Robert are good friends.

... Me with one of the best friends I have ever ever ever had, Holland. She and I are both training for the 50 mile trail ultra with Guy.

... Guy, me and Andrew, Holly's hubba.

... and Jennifer, Robert, Debbie, and my hubba, Bob.

I love this picture... me and Robert with Terri and Erin. Erin just went back to work this week, so now Terri has no one to train with. We'll see how she handles being alone because the three of us have spent and insane amount of time together!!! I still love you, Terri!

Then on Saturday, Guy, Becca, Maggie and I ran the 25K Trail Mix race in Bloomington. It was great practice for Moose Mountain because it was really hilly and had a little single track on the course. Guy kept reminding me that although it was better than doing just another pavement or road run, that the ultra will be "much, much more technical." Which was disappointing because I thought the Trail Mix was WAY hard and now I am feeling much less confident about the Moose Mountain ultra!

...here we are at the start, with our friend Dave Smith:

... and on top of the ski jump hill...

We finished in 2:40:00 - which is by no means speedy, but like I said, it was really hard!

Then Guy and I headed over to coffee with the rest of the running club to say our last goodbyes to Robert before he got taken to the airport to head back to the base.

... and that's when it just hit me (again) like a slug to the stomach and I just got so sad. I know he's brave and incredibly smart and very well trained and all that. But I just don't like where he's going. Some of the meanest people in the history of the world live there and they don't just "not like him", but they want to kill him. And all he (and his fellow soldiers) wants to do over there is hand the good Iraqi guys back their country. But all it takes is one sniper with nothing to lose -- and there are thousands of them with nothing to lose -- and without giving Robert even a second thought they could just take him away from me. He's like a brother to me and the "fun" uncle to my kids and we love him so much.

Then as I was driving Guy home, Robert was at my house gathering up his gear and saying bye to Ally and Bobby and they called just crying so hard... like they were in a panic... and there of course is nothing I can do... I can't make him stay, and I can't make them not be afraid. He's got a job to do and it just is what it is. But I think when they see him in his uniform the danger just seems so much more imminent.

Robert texted last night to say he arrived safely. I had to tell him that Ally had gone into his room an hour earlier and had taken the civilian shirt he had been wearing while he was here, and that she was sleeping with it. He said she was really upset when he left, and that she could have his shirt.

Tuesday he turns off his phone.

Wednesday he flies to Kuwait.

Two hundred ninety six days to go.