Iranian Teacher XP

Aunt Alexi

2015-02-10T08:32:00.002-06:00

- Alexis Texas is known almost to all of my students! Third graders and second graders including their teacher who happens to be me!
  
  I even heard one of them saying:”The only thing that makes me feel better right now is “aunt alexi”
  
  I was good at pretending not knowing her that I asked him:”Is the guy one of your relatives?”
  
  He nodded and the whole class burst into laughter!
  
  I put on an angry face and asked the class:”Why the heck are you laughing at?!”
  
  As if I don’t know HER at all!

Iron&Metal

2010-11-03T10:20:00.001-06:00

Nowadays, the only thing that grows is iron&metal!

Inspired by"HD Suisse Channel"

MS.Divisive

2010-10-14T10:21:00.003-06:00

We all live in a two floor apartment. She owns the apartment above us. She is a very religious widower and all the neighbors talk about how religious she is. This Year, God invited her to His Holy place in Mecca. She also was invited by Imam Reza to His Holy Shrine several times this year.

The only thing she does and thinks won’t hurt anyone’s feelings is the inappropriate way of treating the guy who lives downstairs!

Oh,God:"Religion sucks!"

2010-09-18T13:49:00.003-06:00

With all the appreciation I have for this world,

Most of the time I feel like:

"Fuck this world!"

Prophets& Directors

2007-08-17T15:35:00.000-06:00

“No art passes our conscience in the way film does, and goes directly to our feelings, deep down into the dark rooms of our souls.” Ingmar Bergman

Prophets and movie makers sure have a lot to share with us which make them each other’s alter ego so to speak!
First, prophets have their holy books; The movie makers have their movies as their books.
Second, a prophet’s miracle differs from another ranging from making the dead alive or opening the Nile River by a stick; the movie maker has his first and only movie as his masterpiece.
Third: While reading a holy book, one has to go through some traditions like washing hands and face and to be in a quiet place preferably, a dark room to absorb things he reads; while watching a movie you have to sit in a quiet, dark, place to suck up every thing!

There is one difference between these two:
One can find a FEMALE movie maker but not a female PROPHET! I haven’t heard of any, do you?;)

Odyssey 2007& Kismet

2007-05-22T10:38:00.000-06:00

Who would have thunk it? Finally, I bought my "dream" house but, at a PRICE. I have grown up a little more. I have learnt a lot. I have seen a lot. Now, I can say that" I have been there!" I saw lots of different people with lots of bizarre behaviors.
The prices have been sky rocketed because of Mr.Asshole's economic policies. If he ever wants to run for a second term I might vote his opponent, regardless of who he might be however, as I often see the dark side of the things, things won't be very different then too.
From now on, I believe in Kismet. Not the kind of Kismet which says everything has prewritten and you are doomed to do that but, the new kind that says" Start walking and you will get to the destination too" if you get what I mean.
The story goes like this:
I was hesitant between two choices.I had been in contact with a guy (Mr A)who wanted to sell his house but he seemed hesitant in selling his house as it was really risky to sell one's house and then start buying a new one just because of the unstable economy that changes every other day. People just don't risk. It may sound crazy to you all but; me sold my house first and asked the buyer to give me 2 months and then started looking for a house! I have learnt my lesson now:" Buy a house first then, sell your house." That guy resigned selling his house to me and apologized doing so. He had promised to sell his house to me but refused to do so after one week.
Those moments were one of my worst moments of life.

There was another house which we wanted to buy but didn't know what to do because of the promise of that mentioned guy. Everything seemed fine till we went to the realtor and asked him to talk Mr.B into selling his house to us. We put some money to make him sure about our decision. The realtor called me in the following morning and said that Mr.B is supposed to go to another real estate agency and has made an appointment at 7 with someone. It is usual to advertise your house in different places.
"Holy cow! I am shit out of luck, there are people who if fall in a bucket of shit come up smelling the roses but what about poor me?
These thoughts rushed into my head as he was saying those disappointing words. What should have I done? Just imagine the number of agencies we have been to; more than 60 ones! I swear to God that I mean it! Imagine the number of cells martyred on the process of buying it.
I had given a hard time to my wife because of my stressful condition. We had had a couple of quarrels and didn't know what to do! My dad had supported me enough by helping me buying this house so what other expectations should have I had?"

I hung up and went deep down in my thoughts. To get rid of this world, I put on my headphone and started watching" Finding Nemo" which is one of the best cartoons of all times. One reason is that the whole story is presented underwater and I love water, river, sea, oceans.I felt a little better but, the PROBLEM was there staring at us.
It was six PM and I thought to go to the real estate agency and get my money back. The house was going to be sold at 7PM in another real estate agncy.We went there but Mr. realtor wasn't there. We waited there for about two hours and he finally showed up. Mr. Realtor who seemed like a nice guy called Mr.B's house. No Mr.B at home so, he called his cell phone and after a short while Mr.B was there. Surprise? Ha?
We signed an agreement and I bought his house. Now listen to Mr.B's story:
"I went to the other real estate agency and made an agreement higher that YOUR price but, the old man who wanted to buy my house started a quarrel with his son- in- low who disagreed with him buying that house. They started talking loudly in the agency when I told them that I would be there AFTER your quarrel is over." He showed up in the agency where III was. Period!
I call it a miracle; what do YOU call it?

Thank you for your Prayes:)

A Real Estate Agent

2007-05-19T14:32:00.001-06:00

What do you think of a real estate agent?
These guys don't have a straight intestine in their stomach as we say in Persian. They are the most two faced guys one can find in Iran. I myself went to the seller's house when I first was introduced by the agency and did everything by myself to persuade the seller in terms of buying his house.
This Mr. agent tries to put on an Islamic face by reading Arabic verses and wants to pretend that they are there just for the sake of God.
"We are here to help people have their own house for the sake of God"
Somebody told me once that" a mum never has sex with dad for free" In Persian we have a more polite proverb that says:" A cat never catches a mouse for the sake of God."
These stresses, nightmare has intensified my ulcer and a constant worry over things. I hate to wait to get a yes or no answer from someone just like my poor wife.
Fuck! If I had more money I could have better choices and could find the "decent" house sooner with less stress.
Don't stop your prayers for me, please!

Up and Down Like a Bride’s Nightie

2007-05-09T12:30:00.000-06:00

After all those battles,stressful,hypersensetive situations,calls and visiting people I managed to sell my house.I sometimes saw nightmares on how I was ripped off with no place to live.I wish I were in the mood of writing about all those talks,challenges,"fights" I had with the buyers.That's such a relief!
Oh oh oh,The second more important battle is yet to come which is finding the "right" house to buy. We (my wife and I) have been looking for the right house one month ago with no happy ending results. After my day was over we started looking the whole area upside down to find something suitable. Now with more vigor and energy I am on the way to go...
So far, we have visited more than 20 hoses and apartments but none of them came close to our criteria!
We very picky? Yup,we are. so what?
PlEASE, say a little prayer as you finish reading this post for me so that I could find a good hose or an apartment.
Thank you all :)

300

2007-04-18T10:24:00.000-06:00

Finally one of my students brought me the pirated movie 300 and I watched the movie right after my class in the evening. What I am going to tell you about the movie are my first reactions, thoughts, images erupting as I was watching the movie. So, cool down and hold on your horses:
Because, I had read a lot of "negative" reviews about 300,I couldn't embrace the movie like I do in my usual, normal conditions and I watched the movie after a long tiring day and all these hand in hand made me see the movie more "objectively" than" subjectively." Right from the beginning the word Persian used by King Leonidas made me not have any sympathy with the Spartans at all! Even in some parts I wished to be part of the Xerxes's army to kill the Spartans to their last ones!
You don't need to remind me that "wake up! This is only a movie and nothing more" as I always say this to my students jokingly after watching a movie especially if that is a marshal art movie so that they stop "beating up" each other after the movie. Speaking of marshal arts...this movie had a lot in common with 2 movies I had seen already.
1. Gladiator [I DO adore this movie]
2. No retreat, No surrender
The "bravery" of the Spartan really impressed me and reminded me of those Irani_Iraqi based movies in which an Iranian (Persian) was like Achilles and almost immortal as the Spartan soldiers were.
Very funny indeed!
If this movie had been made five years ago, the Persians could have been replaced by Iraqis on the spot!
Last but not least, I heard some part of Mission Impossible music in the movie exactly before the rhino attack.
Persians could have been pictured more cute and human than what Zack Snyder presented in the movie because you look "MORE" victorious when your rival is made of flesh and is someone like you are!

King Leonidas had been pictured as Jesus in his last close ups with lots of arrows in his body to show how innocent he was while he was killed by "barbarian" Persians.

Shit out of ten is my score to the movie except the graphics which was out of this world!

The Hunter&The "hunt-ee"

2007-04-08T05:14:00.000-06:00

Thanks to our "Great" president these Britons felt humiliation as we did when their government toppled down Mohammed Mossadegh's fresh,blossomed government in 1953.If you aren’t afraid of the Gospel Truth and would be thrilled to get to know the tit for tat story click Here

300&the Britons

2007-04-05T15:38:00.000-06:00

Who would have thought of this?
I entered the class as usual with no business like posture which I usually do while getting into the class and right there one of them devils shouted mockingly and loudly: "STAND UP" I asked him to come to the board and asked him not to shout or behave like an asshole anymore and he nodded his head as a yes sign.
Mr.Fanki?"You promised taking us to the video room and …
"All right! I am still loyal to it."
"Please! Let's go there now! Ali has 300 on a DVD and it would be fun!"
Right there something happened and made the whole class LOL;that was when I lost my control and took that student's collar by hand and pushed him out of my class; his glasses broke into pieces. I was shaking my self. I couldn’t believe that myself. I went mad for a moment and it was a bit late to know that! Crying over the spilled milk? Yes and no!

Stop thinking how brutal I am! You could have done the same thing if you were me! I had talked to that student a thousands times and his parents as well but in vain! If you teach 60 hours a week, you might go nuts in a moment too as I did.

His mother was at school a couple of hours later. We didn’t greet each us at all. She even didn’t look at me while we were in the principal’s room .She was angry as hell. I told her about the whole incident and I apologized for being tough to her son and she bla bla blaed and I did too. Finally, she also apologized for being loud too!"
The principal talked to me first and when I accepted my fault, he also asked her not to spoil his child by giving him a lot of freedom at home:
"Every one of us makes mistakes and even you might punish your son because of a bad behavior, don't you? So, this happened for Mr.Franki too!"

"Yes, I agree."
I will never forget the movie 300 because of this. Yes, I know! I should have acted more wisely!

Now, on the freed Britons…

What eats me the most after hearing the release of Britons was the fact that Mr.(Don't waste your energy pronouncing his name, he isn't worth it) was carefree about the teachers who were beaten and insulted by their thugs in times of Iranian teacher’s protests while, "Dear" Britons were treated with outmost respect and care here. They sure are a bunch of ****!!!(Any taboo words fit here)
Mr. A announced that" the captives were being released as a "gift" honoring both the Easter holiday and Muslim celebrations commemorating the birth of the Prophet Muhammad."
Holy crap! God forbid! I am sure if Muhammad is given another life to be here, he won't have a second chance to live his life fully!
No Ruling Crown would be given to him or commemorating his birth. The truth is that Muhammad is a tool for them to send a message to our Sunni "brethrens" the message of unity in case of a US attack. At the same time, he "honors" Easter to buy himself and his regime a kind of "prestige". At lease this time they saved face by freeing them at the "right" time. Halleluiah…Halleluiah… Halleluiah…

April Fool's Day

2007-04-02T11:08:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I read a horrifying news about the possibility of US attacking Iran in the next 24 hours but when I was directed to the next page to read the rest of the story I understood that yesterday was April Fool's Day; of course we don't have this holiday in our calendar but we sure have something quite similar (Doroughe sizdah ) which a Dorough(lie) is told on the sizdah(13th )of Nowrooz:)
During my 2 weeks holiday which will be over today we visited friends and relatives here and there and I more or less enjoyed my vacation. I also watched 2 great American movies which I DO recommended everyone to see if you haven't already:
1.Cars
2.Koyaanisqatsi

Koyaanisqatsi was out of this world. A stunningly beautiful movie. The music by Phillip Glass is a work of pure genius. I can watch this movie again and again. The final sequence of the hobi legend's judgment where the container falls from the sky is just unbelievable. How was it filmed? It's so amazing. I just couldn't help crying there; there was a religious tone to that astonishing part which took you to a heavenly Baptism ceremony. To me It was far much better that "Apocalypse Now" which sums up why our current "civilization" might be heading for destruction. Moreover, Koyaanisquatsi "defamiliarizes" the world and humanity allowing the viewer to have birds-eye view. In other words, we learn so much about our own life and life in general. Is mankind nothing more than ants? Why are we moving so fast? Towards what goal? Long before this men rested at nights and worked during the day and nowadays?

nights&days have become one!? What is our relation with ourselves, nature and other people and animals?
Out of luck we are! Today (13th of Nowrooz) was a hellof a rainy day that we preferred to stay in than out and get wet.

Very Far,Yet,Very Close

2007-03-30T04:12:00.000-06:00

There are three phenomena which have the above mentioned characteristics :( Very far, Yet, Very close)
God, Death&Happiness.

I was looking for the life cycle of USB flash memories when I was bombarded with these thoughts:

Everything_ if you look at it closely_ you buy has a life cycle, even things that can't be bought form stores like your mind and thoughts; at every age our thoughts seek to satisfy the needs related to that age. We are in constant need to need!
Maybe it's our mentality as Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) puts it that we can't imagine anything better than this.

Continuous joy,
Continuous pain,
Lasting happiness?...
Were we all born to live a life like this?
Isn't there a better meaning for life? I want more...

300 An Unethical Movie

2007-03-12T06:47:00.000-06:00

Say NO to it here: 300 Movie

Thank you EI

2007-03-11T09:05:00.000-06:00

Finally,EI showed its sympathy with Iranian teachers.

Thank you.
You can read it here.

D_Day

2007-03-07T04:39:00.000-06:00

I am really angry with every so called "Democratic" media in the whole world. The reason is quite clear:
Who has been covering the news of teacher's strikes in the last couple of days and weeks?
Who has ever supported their movements so far?
Which "famous" newspaper NYTimes, Washingtonpost... has ever written a sentence about this?
Who cares? Who knows?
For America and Europe WE (Iran) is a huge tank of oil which must be squeezed and consumed to its last drop. They see us as a hot pussycat which must be fucked over and over until its days are numbered. Don't they!

Here, the so called Islamic Republic TV hasn't given a fuck about our strikes on TV; Not a single word is mentioned about this on TV! One of my coworkers says that" If a Palestinian farts in Gaza Strip, it will be given a big coverage in our TV but, when it comes to teachers we are ignored by our government totally. Alas...

Yesterday, I went to Baharestan Square to shout my share of protest. There were about 5000 teachers there who were chanting antigovernment slogans like:

Forget about Palestine, think about US teachers,
Such a good for nothing Majlis, haven't we ever had,
Shame on you, the one who only claims to bring justice,

I took those above photos with my own camera.
Here is the Clip I took with my camera:(You need Real Player to see it)
http://rapidshare.com/files/19825790/Iranian_Teacher_s_New_Strikes.mov.html

Teacher's Strike

2007-03-03T11:02:00.000-06:00

There is a special news program called: 8:30 which sees itself a "revolutionary" kind of news program which "challenges" famous people and politicians,... but, its absence and the instinct conservatism of Iranian TV programs has been made fun of by that plaque" Where the hell are you,8:30?"

We stayed in the teacher's lounge as a protest to government policies toward teachers but, I didn’t see any program related to teacher's nation wide strike! That’s called censor, right?

Iranian teachers gathered together to protest to the injustice.
The injustice to their low payments,
The injustice to their low social status, (no money, no status)
Teachers aren’t poor creatures. We don’t want your f***ing sympathy.
We are ignored by the mass media. You never see these photos in our "Islamic" TV.

We stayed in the teacher's lounge as a protest to government policies toward teachers but, I didn’t see any program related to teacher's nation wide strike! That’s called censor, right?

Please pass this to everyone you know and if possible link this to other sites.

Nuclear Energy Music

2007-02-23T02:06:00.000-06:00

Some unknown artist(s) are paid (I suppose) to sing nuclear energy song(s).Rap and these sorts of music are banned on an Islamic Republic TV so, it attracts a lot of youth. If you know Farsi and a fan of music, especially Nuclear Energy Music fan, Click here Nuclear Energy and select number 3(Nuclear Energy)

If you don't know Persian I translate some parts for you to get the message:

Nuclear energy is our definite right,
We are brave, honorable people that defend our land Iran,
Iran, you mean everything to me,
What's wrong with you America?
Come to our land if you dare,
We will give you a good lesson you never forget,
You are some bunch of Cowboys,
Lets (every Iranian) get rid of the Devil,
We don't care what happens to us tomorrow...

Instead of developing a mutual diplomacy between two nations [I wouldn't know how. I am not a Politician] these sorts of music provoke the Iranian youth to go to war with the US.

At the same time you hear that there (in the US) clips are made to show how "dangerous" Iran is to America and the whole world. And If Iran isn’t stopped from developing nuclear energy we (American citizens) are doomed to die tragically by an Iranian bomb.

Let's think positive and hope for the better!

Autonomous Decision

2007-02-21T10:00:00.000-06:00

Part 1:

What's the worst thing about one's manhood?

THE fucking responsibility!

What's the best thing about one's childhood?

THE good old irresponsibility!

The commonality?
It's in the cost of the toys you get throughout your life :)

Part 2:

I changed one of class rules which said "In case you aren't allowed to go to the restroom by the teacher, you can't leave the classroom."
The new rule says:
"You are allowed to leave the classroom with no permission from the teacher as long as you don't tale advantage of teacher's "kindness".

The reason I changed the rule was on the one hand, to give more autonomy to my students so they feel more at ease in my class and on the other hand to behave better!

I have to wait and see how much it works!
As the new rule was mentioned I saw one of them leaving the class as he was smiling!

Teacher’s Strike

2007-02-20T08:19:00.000-06:00

WE Iran’s huge community of teachers are on a 2 day strike once again to protest officials indifference towards our most basic and urgent demand that is the postponed! which is the adjustment of our status with other government employees.

"Not only the government has not paid any attention to our years-long complaints , they have turned us into one of the poorest social classes in a so called "Islamic Republic" with less than 300 US Dollars a month,we receive one of the lowest wages among the State’s employees"

We stayed in the teachers launge and refused to attend the classes.When asked why someone who has the leaset education(A Diploma) in the Minstry of Petrolium get five times more than some one who has an M.A. they come up with the reason that "them wok" is tied with the oil pipelines while ours isnt.

Once again we will give them a shock so, they forget the yellow cake and start thinking about us!

Life Pulse

2007-02-14T09:41:00.000-06:00

Sometimes the only thing that reminds me of my being alive is the vibrator of my cellphone.
Take my advice:
Turn it on!

Speed,Sex &Religion

2007-02-11T04:34:00.000-06:00

I asked Babak to hand over his cellular phone to me as he was playing with his phone in the middle of my teaching.

I became aware of three things:
1. A Lamborghini car video in Tehran streets.
2. A semi porno video clip.
3. A religious one related to Moharam.

Speed, sex, and religion are spread all over today's youth!

+
The teacher's snoopiness ;)

No Comment

2007-02-07T09:56:00.000-06:00

First,
I have to say that my previous post (the photo) was taken with my cell phone in my class when I entered the class before the students so, it's not something fake or something that I "grabbed" from the net.

Second,
I read somewhere on the net that a mother in France was punished 1500_2000 $ because she had talked improperly with her son's teacher at school and it was because of the son lateness to school.
Yesterday Ali's cousin had given a punch to one of the teachers in our school because the "guilty" teacher had punished the student corporally.Ali had talked to his cousin about this and his cousin had gotten furious and had a fight with the teacher at school. They were supposed to go to the court but things were settled down with a kiss, some candies and the apology of Ali's cousin in front of the students.

Third,
In the last minutes before the class ends and while the students were writing things in their notebooks quietly, Hamid (the Devil) who is one of my "best" students came to me and gave me a strange pen and asked if I could give him an autograph. I had sort of a painful experience with one of these electric pens when I had taken a pen like that from one of my colleagues and tried to push the tip to start writing. There, I suddenly had thrown away the pen with a scream and every one laughed at the scene and that was no big deal as they all were my coworkers. Now, the devil wanted to do the same prank joke on his TEACHER.I took the pen and all of a sudden, took his left hand by force and pushed the tip of the pen on the back of his left hand.Hamid started screaming while others were laughing out loud. His prank backfired. Now I think my previous painful wasn't that bad after all. I showed them all that I have been there.

Fourth,
I was in one of those taxies on the back where there was a girl next to me whose cellular phone was on nonstop. I am not that big (6.5 foot, 200 pounds) and I tried hard to sit decently and the girl next to me tried to avoid being "touched". It was one of those turns in the street when she turned to me and said" go over there a little more." I told her that I can't move and what the hell you were talking about..."
He called me an Afghani and I got angry and told him that Afghani was herself and her whole family. I didn’t want to use the word Afghani but couldn’t help to.We Iranians are a bit racist as you might know but who isn’t?

Blackboard Giraffiti, By Teens

2007-01-09T07:45:00.000-06:00

Well Done

2006-12-15T13:17:00.000-06:00

I have always wanted to be a movie director and if there were a theme I wanted to make a movie based on it that would be redemption like what I have read about "Bad Lieutenant" but unfortunately, I haven't found the movie to watch.

While I was watching "Transit Cafe" By Kambouzia Partovi I thought to my self if there were a famed director who could show the average city life of an Iranian with no exaggeration. The movies screened in other countries are those which are either too dark or too light.(Ya Az Invare Boom Ya Az Ounvar)
What does an average foreigner think when he/she sees "Transit Cafe?" Do all Iranian women wear Chadors? Do all people believe in those superstitions screened in the movie? The woman in the movie is prohibited of having her own Cafe but here I see (though a few) women who are both taxi drivers and bus drivers! Why not making a movie based on their lives?
One of the main reasons I have opened this weblog is to open another window to the eyes of the world about my country and myself.
When an athlete does a wonderful job like what our wrestlers did in Doha 2006 Olympic Games, I thought how their winning the match could change the view points of other viewers about Iran and Iranians.
When a movie becomes one of the nominees in a foreign festival, Once again I think of the changes it could make in the eyes of a an American, European, etc...

With this weblog that has an average 30_40 viewer a day, I can't go too far but, if I could change a thing very little, I think someone should pat on my back and says" Well done boy!"