e-Quips

Quip–a witty remark.  E-Quips (think e-book or email) is hopefully a witty blog  – dedicated to word play such as parodies, puns, and word parallels and stories about libraries that you may not have heard before. It has also expanded to include a few book reviews, nature and observational essays and poems,  stories about military and veterans, and tips about writers and writing. It has evolved into an online journal.  I also include select re-blogs to admire or inspire.

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Hope you enjoy the ride and the fun.

Please let me know if there is word that deserves a riff or a library that has a story to share.

Thanks for joining me in the blogosphere.

Pat

 

 

 

 

Humor- Quotes

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’  We closed our eyes.When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.

– Desmond Tutu

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

– David Letterman

I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I’m a billionaire.
– Howard Hughes

After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box.
 Italian proverb

The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
Jean Kerr

I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
– Emo Philips.

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
– Harrison Ford

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.
– Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
– Robin Hall

Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.
– Jean Rostand.

Having more money doesn’t make you happier.

I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.

– Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
 W. H. Auden

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
 Johnny Carson

I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.

Arthur C Clarke

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

 Steve Martin

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
– Jimmy Durante

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.
– Doug Hamwell

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
– George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.
– Jonathan Winters

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
– Robert Benchley

The weather person is the only person that I know, that can be wrong 99.9 % of the time and still have a job the next day.
-Johnny Carson

After a Two Year Pause, the Caisson Go Rolling Again

The Army recently established the 08H Army Equestrian military occupational specialty and Staff Sgt. Shawn Tabor and Sgt. Daimien Copeland, both assigned to the Caisson Detachment at Joint Base Myer-Henderson Hall, are among the first soldiers to qualify for the new role after completing an 18-week horsemanship program.

The 08H specialty replaced the “military horseman” identifier and, according to an Army release, is open to infantry soldiers in the grades of E5 to E9. It is a role the Army says contributes to recruiting, public outreach and military funeral honors.

During the initial 12-week program, soldiers learn grooming, groundwork and communication with horses in the Basic Horsemanship Course before moving on to horse driving and the Caisson Detachment’s distinctive postilion riding method during the Advanced Horsemanship Course for six more weeks.

“During my time at Caisson, we had our first state funeral in more than 20 years for former President Jimmy Carter. Taking part in that funeral reinforced the importance of our mission and the honor of serving in a role that very few soldiers have the opportunity to experience,” he said in the release.

Previously scheduled to end, the Army in Dec. 2025 announced it was retaining military working equid programs — which include Defense Department horses, mules and donkeys — in Texas and Kansas.

The designation comes after the Army resumed limited use of horse-drawn caissons at Arlington National Cemetery in mid-2025 following a two-year suspension prompted by concerns over the welfare of the horses. The service halted the program in 2023 after two horses — Mickey and Tony — died in 2022 from colon impactions linked to substandard feed and living conditions.

According to the Defense Department, the Army upgraded equipment to replace wooden saddles with lighter, custom leather saddles. The service also decreased the caisson’s weight by over 1,000 pounds and made other adjustments to lessen the strain on the horses.

A 2025 release also said the soldiers’ training had “shifted from impromptu methods to a structured pipeline,” with the basic course — launched in 2024 — held at a private stable in Virginia and then a six-week camp located at an equestrian sports facility in Florida.

“We don’t get soldiers from horse backgrounds anymore,” said Army Maj. Wes Strickland, the 3rd Infantry Regiment public affairs officer at the time, said in the 2025 statement. “So, we teach everything — how to walk up to a horse, saddle it, clean a stall.”

A military caisson is a specialized horse-drawn wagon, historically designed to carry artillery ammunition, now primarily used in the U.S. military to transport a casket during solemn funeral processions, particularly at Arlington National Cemetery. It serves as a high honor for fallen soldiers, KIA, and high-ranking officers. 

Donkey Family at the end of July

We decided to visit the family towards the end of July. It was a gorgeous morning and we had gotten them some food and fresh strawberries at the store. Bob would need to get dessert at the Wyants later. Holly and Whitey were in the front pasture and Buddy had his head stuck out around the shed so the whole family came when Bob hee-hawed Chow Call.

Holly appeared more pregnant, depending upon the angle

Whitey is almost as tall as his father, who walked away from his family on a frequent basis. (Note him walking away after the meal.) I wonder if it is his mate or his son who is causing him to walk away.

White is almost as tall as his father
Left over sign from America’s 250th anniversary

When Bob went into the store for dessert, Buddy gave several raspy brays. He was standing next to Whitey so for a minute I was not sure who was making the noise.

Whitey looking at Bob’s Grandma’s Peanutbutter cookie
Buddy as the noble donkey

Why I Hate AI and the New Cell Phones

My previous cellphone was dying. First the battery was deliberately shortened so I had to buy a new one (for my Google 6A). They said it would be free of charge but never acknowledged where that might happen (and I still have not found out). Then, when responding to the messages on email, all sorts of apps that I could not tell had anything to do with that process, began to fail, sometimes multiple times when trying to reply to a single email and they were often not the same app.) I talked to an IT guy who said this response to the Google phone extended to more than the Google 6A or 7 that I had been told about. So I bought the latest Samsung, complete with an AI “help” which I wanted to terminate at birth (and that is not possible).

When I asked the helpful T-Mobile technician about looking at Google Pro, he seemed relieved. I don’t know where it was a cheaper phone or a better phone, but when I went back for more stupid study on basic thing like how to turn the phone off without having to ask Gemini; I found I could get a different phone for a restocking fee. Having paid too much money for the Samsung, I decided to cut my losses. I didn’t like this phone. And they all came with the Gemini assistant I did not want, need, or request.

If you have ever watched old episode on NCIS, Leroy Jethro Gibbs (played by Mark Harmon) deliberately used a flip phone after the rest of the team has moved on to smart phones. I like being able to get my g-mail and maps on my phone, but I can understand the appeal of a flip phone.

When you look up an answer in a browser, AI is often the first response that comes up. AI is not always accurate and can spread false information. (GIGO–Garbage in, garbage out). So I try to check against a source I do trust (usually Wikipedia–but how long will that be the case?)

One genius in the waiting line at T-Mobil told me that the voice was not AI so I asked it and Gemini admitted it was AI. I actually told her before she left that she was wrong, but she never admitted knowing whether she believed it or not. (It was a cheap shot, but I was so annoyed with the delusional biddy, I could not refrain).

It gives you an answer, speaks to you or just tries to act like your new best friend.

I tried to submit a comment to blogger. The AI asked if I wanted to take a picture instead of my avatar. I said no and both the comment and the screen disappeared. I had to write the comment again!


Walmartians

Under-dressed
Under-sized
Underwear?
People dress funny
when they shop at Walmart

I was at Walmart on a Sunday afternoon because my husband wanted to buy a few thing. I was just picking up a flatbread sandwich from an in-store Subway. Nobody I saw could match these folks–most people dressed casually on a rainy, Sunday afternoon. Some had rain jackets that were too hot for the store AC, but that was as weird as it got.

I had a girl friend, originally from Ohio, who said she hated looking at Walmart photos because she was afraid her relatives might be featured.

Cow Ant

Overview

Velvet ants are a family of more than 7,000 species of wasps whose wingless females resemble large, hairy ants. Their common name velvet ant refers to their resemblance to an ant, and their dense pile of hair, which most often is bright scarlet or orange, but may also be black, white, silver, or gold.

The sting of a female velvet ant (or “cow killer“) is famously excruciating, ranking a 3 on the 4-point Schmidt sting pain index—higher than most bees and wasps. It is often described as feeling like burning hot oil or a pulsating, intensely painful “fire” that can last for 30 minutes, due to a specialized peptide in their venom that triggers nerve cells. 

We saw one for the first time at Blue Mountain, a brewpub and local place watering hole. I had never scene one before and was surprised when our waiter found out about it so quickly after he took a picture on his phone. I had never seen one before and have no idea if it is new or has been around.

Cow killers or Fire Ants

Key details about the velvet ant sting:

  • The Nickname: They are called “cow killers” because of the legend that their sting can kill a cow, though in reality, it is not lethal to humans, just extremely painful. 
  • Pain Experience: The pain is described as immediate, sharp, and, as discussed by many on Reddit, lasting up to 30 minutes, often accompanied by intense heat and, in some cases, swelling. 
  • The Stinger: Females possess an incredibly long and durable stinger (up to half an inch), capable of piercing through thick skin and even through footwear, say some users on this Facebook video. 
  • Behavior: They are not aggressive and rarely sting unless they are heavily provoked or stepped on with bare feet, notes Insects in the City. 
  • Why it hurts: Research indicates the venom contains a specific peptide called Do6a that directly activates pain-sensing neurons (nociceptors). 

It is important to note that male velvet ants have wings and do not sting, while only the wingless females possess this painful defense mechanism. 

Beautiful red
skin like velvet
Do not touch
or you will regret it!

Hot Girls Support Public Libaries

Some people know that I am a Recovering Librarian. A friend of mine used that term when she retired, but I am still in the game, volunteering at least once a month by fetching Deck Logs at Archives 2 in College Park for the San Diego based USS Midway (CV-41) and usually once a week at the Jefferson Library at Monticello. Some of us just don’t know when to quit.

The week before we got married, I told my fiance (now husband) that I wanted to become a librarian. To my surprise, he agreed. So I signed up the GRE and applied to two Library Schools (as they were then called). Got into one but was not accepted into the other. Fortunately the one I got accepted to was 1) where we were moving to next and 2) offered in state tuition for people and their families in the military. I also decided to try to become a civilian librarian, working for DoD and so it was.

After half of my career in post (think public libraries on a base) and half at a DoD graduate school, I was able to retire. I volunteered at a branch library in San Diego, CA, and then for the USS Midway where I cataloged and since moving to Virginia, go up to the Archives in College Park many months each year I also volunteer at the Jefferson Library at Monticello.

That is why I call myself a recovering librarian, not quite done yet.

First half of my career was spent at various Army MWR libraries.

Today’s Graduate Students Don’t Know Poop

We live in a townhouse community where many of the students attend the University of Virginia graduate school. Most are within walking distance of the Darden Graduate School for Business or the UVA Law School. A few are a Classics majors.

In the summer, more than a a few with children, love to visit the neighborhood pool. One parent left a dirty disposable diaper in one of the parking lots. Our next door neighbor apparently didn’t notice it and when she came back, her right front tire had dirty diaper remains splooshed all over it. Late we noticed that the tire was cleaner, but the dirty diaper remained. A few days later some body else left two plastic trays of left overs near the dirty diaper. Makes you wonder whether these people are paying any attention at all.

Today, my husband picked reluctantly picked up the dirty diaper on the way to the community trash cans and the two trays of left overs. Of course, he wanted to wash his hands after doing that, so our walk around the block was cancelled.

How can one ignore a dirty diaper (that was probably changed at the pool) and a different person (or more) drop two trays of left overs?

Clueless

August 2: Total Eclipse

The 2027 Solar Eclipse Details

  • Date: Monday, August 2, 2027
  • Maximum Duration: Up to 6 minutes and 22 seconds of totality near Luxor, Egypt, making it one of the longest of the 21st century.
  • Path of Totality: Sweeps across southern Spain, North Africa (including Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Egypt), and parts of the Middle East (Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Somalia).
  • Global Impact: The entire world will not go dark because Earth always has a lit side and a dark side; only regions in the direct 160-mile-wide path will experience twilight conditions

August 1- National Spritz Day

Situated at the end of summer, National Spritz Day offers an ideal opportunity to enjoy some delightful and refreshing spritz beverages. The combination of warm weather and refreshing bubbles combine together to make a festive experience whether with an Aperol spritz, a champagne cocktail, a French 75 cocktail or some other delicious spritz drink!

History of National Spritz Day

The history of National Spritz Day can be followed all the way back to the 1800s when wine drinks were combined with sparkling soda water to create a new kind of cocktail. The story goes that this was created in Italy during the time of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, when Austrian soldiers traveled to Italy and changed the way they drank wine. The name likely came from the fact that spritz means “splash” in German, referring to the splash of soda water that was placed in the wine.

Since that time the spritz drink has evolved to become a combination of certain liqueurs, particularly bitters, with prosecco or champagne or club soda, often with a garnish or a citrus twist. While the Aperol Spritz has become one of the more popular of the drinks in this family, there are a number of other delicious spritz drinks that can be enjoyed hailing not only from Italy, but all over the world.

The Aperol company started making their orange bitter liqueur in the early 1900s but the recipe for the Aperol Spritz didn’t evolve until the 1950s. But it wasn’t until several decades later, in the 2000s, that the Aperol company made a marketing push and the cocktail really began to become popular across the ocean in the United States. While Aperol has a flavor that is a lot like Campari, this one has a much lower alcohol content, making the Aperol Spritz a refreshing drink that has a low alcohol content.

Other popular versions of spritz drinks can include almost any type of bitter combined with sparkling wine and club soda. This might include kiwi, mimosa, honey-lemon, Pimm’s spritz and so many others. National Spritz Day was established with the desire to promote these delicious cocktails and have some fun with them.

National Spritz Day Timeline

  1. 1800sSpritz drinks get their start Austrian soldiers visiting Italy dilute wine with soda water to make it lighter and less strong.[1]
  2. 1919Aperol bitter aperitif is first made One of the most popular mixers for spritzes, this orange liqueur is made by brothers in Italy.
  3. 1950sOfficial Aperol Spritz recipe is born Found in an advertisement, the first recipe for Aperol Spritz is published.[1]
  4. 2016The book Spritz is publishedThis book by Talia Baiocchi and Leslie Pariseau features stories behind and recipes for this Italian sparkling drink.

The only spritz drink that I have actually tried is Tonic water and cranberry juice. They give it away between drinks at a bar where I normally get limontinis. It is the only bar that I have not had to pay for a tonic water. I wonder if they do that for people who are not drinking, but I like the idea.

I went into the bar
But I didn't get far
Two drinks were my limit
So I was ok with my car
Fortunately I didn't have
to drive far

July 29–Full Buck Moon

Ready for a little midsummer magic? The Full Buck Moon rises on July 29, 2026! See more information about July’s Full Moon, from why we call it the “Buck” Moon to the best days for activities based on the Moon’s sign and phase in July.

When to See the Full Moon in July 2026

July’s Full Buck Moon will rise on Wednesday, July 29, reaching peak illumination at 10:36 A.M. Eastern Time. It will be below the horizon at that time, so plan to look towards the southeast after sunset to watch it rise into the sky.

By late July a buck’s antlers can grow up to half an inch a day, one of the fastest tissue-growth rates in mammals. The full moon at the peak of that growth was a useful seasonal anchor for hunters preparing for the fall.

  • Moulting Moon (Cree).
  • Salmon Moon (Tinglit)
  • Berry Moon (Anishinaabe)
  • Moon When the Chokecherries are Ripe (Dakota)
  • Month of the Ripe Corn Moon (Cherokee)
  • Raspberry Moon (Algonquin, Ojibwe).
  • Thunder Moon (Western Abenaki)
  • Halfway Summer Moon (Anishinaabe)

Moon Facts

  • On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong became the first person to set foot on the Moon. He also placed the U.S. flag there.
  • On July 31, 1999, the ashes of the astrogeologist Eugene Shoemaker were deposited on the Moon.

We leave you with a poem by James N. Matthews (1852–1910):

A moon-flooded prairie; a straying 
Of leal-hearted lovers; a baying 
Of far away watching dogs; a dreaming 
Of brown-fisted farmers; a gleaming 
Of fireflies eddying nigh, —
And that is July!

When the bucks are horney
Are the does inclined
Or do they get ornery
And get a chance to decline?
Nature is rough
if the does are blindsided
How would the buck feel
if the rut was one sided?

Stand up, Stand back or Stand out

stand one’s ground – to attempt to hold’s one ground in battle

stand in – a temporary position

stand for – to mean, to symbolize, to represent

stand pat – to resist changes

at a stand – In a state of confusion, undecided what to do nexty

stand from under – to escape from falling or being thrown from above

stand in for – to replace, act as double or a substitute

stand up against – to defy or challenge

stand back – to stay at a safe distance

stand by – to wait in expectation, to make ready

stand-off – to maintain a distance

stand-up – to bring something or get into a standing position

What does Trump stand for?
Is he outstanding in a field
Is it corn or coal
Or high-end yields?
He told J-6s to
to stand bye, not stand back
Was he mentally preparing
them to go on the attack?
Some think Trump is a stand-up guy
A stand out and stand in but we are not quite sure why.

What do you stand for? Stand is a very versatile expression.