Remembering Connor

A dozen Roses By Alan Pederson

2011-01-21T17:21:00.001-08:00

If I had a dozen roses, I know just what I’d do

I’d give each one a name that reminded me of you

The first rose I’d call sunshine, because you brighten everyday

The second would be beauty, the kind that never goes away

The third rose would be priceless, like those hugs you gave to me

I’d name the fourth rose silly, oh how funny you could be

Rose five of course is patience, something you have helped me find

The sixth rose would be memories, the gift you left behind

The seventh and the eighth rose would for sure be faith and grace

Nine would be unique because no one can take your place

The tenth rose well that’s easy, I’d simply name it love

Eleven would be Angel, I know you’re watching from above

I’d think about that twelfth rose, and I’d really take my time

After all these roses are for you my Valentine

I’m sending them to heaven in every color that I know

So rose twelve will be forever, that’s how long I’ll love you so

2011-01-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

I'll lend you for a little time "A Child of Mine," He said.
For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three;
But will you, 'til I call him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,
You'll have his loving memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn
I've looked the wide world over, in My search for teachers true,
And from all the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I've selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, not think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to take him back again?
I fancied that I heard them say, Dear Lord, "Thy will be done."
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness; we'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

2011-01-12T21:00:00.001-08:00

The Brave Little Soul
By: John Alessi

Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?" God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people's hearts." The little soul was confused. "What do you mean," he asked. God replied, "Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone." The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, "The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love - to create this miracle for the good of all humanity."

Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied. "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts! I want to create that miracle!" God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you". God and the brave soul shared a smile, and then embraced.

In parting, God said, "Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed." Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his suffering and God's strength, he unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained lost faith - many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. God was pleased.

Another Poem

2011-01-03T21:03:00.001-08:00

IF AND WHEN:

IF I cry a thousand tears
The hurt will still be there
From now until we meet again

It will never seem quite fair

IF I could kiss you sweet good nights
And tuck you into bed
I would never ask another thing
No more evenings would I dread

IF I woke up tomorrow
To see your smiling face
In my loving arms you'd stay
Fitting perfectly into place

IF pasts could be re-written
You'd still be here with me
My heart no longer broken
How happy we would be

IF everything had went just right
With our little family
Together we would be right now
Ever after, happily

IF we turned left instead of right
Or came instead of went
I'll always wonder if somehow
Things would be different

But...

IF we let IF's define us
We live in constant fear
We lose sight of the big picture
And the reason for our tears

So WHEN I cry a thousand tears
To clense this soul of mine
I'll know that you are with me still
And TOGETHER we are fine

WHEN everything is right again
And we're joined for eternity
This time we are apart right now
Will seem simply itty bitty

WHEN every morning I can wake
To see your smiling face
I'll tell you how I missed you so
And noone ever took your place

IF pasts could be re-written
I'd be happy this is true
But what if what I changed, somehow,
Changed too what made you, you?

IF everything had went just right
And you had won your fight
My happiness would radiate
The brightest of all lights

But, it seems sweetheart this is a test
To see from day to day
If our purest love would faulter
When they placed us worlds away

Tonight I lay me down to sleep
And again I'm without you
The hurt is here, it always is
And my tears are far from few

But we have something special
This test you know we've won
And what's even more about our love is ...
IT'S ONLY JUST BEGUN!!!

Poem

2011-01-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

I watch you now from heaven,
as the angels gather near,
asking, "Who's that you are watching?
I say, "Hush now I can't hear".
So, they arch their heads a little,
wondering...what it is I see,
Then I smile for just a moment,
And say, "that's my family".
I know they think about me,
Sometimes struggling through the day,
They want to wrap their arms around me,
See me run and smile and play.
"Do they know that here in heaven,
All the Father has in store?
That I do all of these things,
Yes, these things, and so much more.
God said I made a difference,
And my life there had a goal,
Then He wrapped his arms around me,
And He said, "Your heart is whole".
And my parents love me so much,
I'm so blessed to call them mine.
How I wish that I could tell them,
That I watch them all the time.
Jesus said "It won't be long child,
Just you wait and see,
In the twinkling of an eye,
you'll all be here with me.
No more surgeries or doctors,
No more tears, and no more pain.
Just a family hand in hand,
Walking through the summer rain.
So when you think about me,
as I know you often do,
Remember I'm not gone,
I am waiting here for you.

Missing him

2011-01-03T15:05:00.000-08:00

I have decided to make a blog for Connor and the people who love him in place of Carepages. A lot of friends have success with this so I'm hoping I do too. It is a work in progress so bare with me