La Catcuracha

Sorry no blogging lately. Things are crazy. I hurt my back pretty badly and had to go to ER. I am enjoying the drugs though! My company left and I also started a full time job. Things should settle down before next week and I can get back into blogging again. I miss you guys!

I am going to be very busy the next few days or longer…. Nine of my husbands New Orleans relatives are coming here…I have no idea what to feed everyone, where to put them and how long they will be here. Katrina caused them to be homeless for several months……..EEEEEK! I don’t mind having them here, they are family, BUT the idea of feeding and housing them is terrifying. What will I cook???? Where will we sleep?? Will they eat burned food???

The hub kills me, I tell him we need to get the house ready….SO he mows the yard?!?!? MEN…Harrumph!

don’t touch me

Another strange video that makes me laugh til I cry. Why?? I can’t say………

All I am asking them to do is brush their teeth! I feel this is ridiculous and excessive….I’m NOT cleaning it up.

“Now that you know who you are, what do you want to be?”

from ‘Baby, you’re a Rich man’

SO, I’ve been going back and forth in noted on facebook with my ex. (See last post) I was able to tell him how badly that hurt and what a horrible thing it was to do to me. Especially considering the history we had for so long. WHen I told him what he had said to me and how badly it hurt. He was able to own up to it and apologize. He told me that at that time in his life, he was extremely self centered. As he has gotten older, he has realized what a jerk he waa to many people in his life. He was horrrified to hear what he had said and felt terrible that it hurt the way it did. He even offered to call me, or go to lunch to make it up. ( I declined) He told me how special our time was at school together and did not want to lose touch because of his being an ass.

I came to a decision about it. I decided that if I refused to forgive him and finally move on, then I lose him forever. . This is someone who was incredibly important before we ever became intimate. Most of those boarding school memories involve him. Boarding school was a very lonely place, those who were there together know that. It’s hard to describe the experience. I was given this pic by a staff member, who said it always broke her heart when she looked at it. It’s from the first assembly at boarding school after being dropped off by my mother at the beginning of sixth grade. I remember sitting there, eleven years old, terrified and sad, feeling abandoned and wondering what was going to happen to me. I didn’t know anyone and now had to live with all these strangers. He came along a little later and made it easier. He made me laugh and until we graduated, he kept making me laugh. I can’t throw that away because he hurt me later on. Those school memories mean to much….He means too much to me. I am happy to have him back and have spent several days chatting with him online and it feels like we’ve never been apart. I have no romantic feelings toward him now, just happy memories of school and gratitude that he was able to make such a horrible experience bearable….

I joined classmates.com to try and find my old boarding school friends I have lost touch with. Last week I got an email from an old friend. He and I attended school from the 7th grade to 12th together, in classes of 14 people max all those years. We were probably 12 years old when we met. We spent every meal together, rec time, PE, weekends hanging out together, cheating in Latin together. He was one of my closest friends and I loved him dearly. Most of my fondest school memories involve him. We lost touch after grad.

A few years after grad, we bumped into each other at a concert. He was in radio and was working at the biggest Country Radio Station in Atlanta as DJ, we began to hang out again and my old friend became my love. It developed into a romantic relationship very quickly. Because he had so much history together, it was an extremely intimate relationship, unlike any other I have ever had. We had a wonderful relationship and had a great time. I would accompany him on his radio business and met several celebrities at concerts. He always said that he liked that fact that I had such a big celebrity as a sister, he knew I wouldn’t make a big deal about meeting celebrities. One night he calls me and ends our relationship. He said ” You don’t fit the image I want to portray.” It crushed me. It took a very long time to get over it. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough for him. I finally realized that it was our history and time together that made it feel like such a betrayal. I had longer relationships that did not hurt me like this one.

When he contacted me and then asked why I never sent him friend request on facebook or myspace, I told him why. When I would come across his pic on one of those sites, I heard him say that again and felt that old wound. We’ve been now emailing on facebook back and forth, but neither have invited the other add as a friend. Instead we are dancing around each other, unsure and nervous.

I think we probably would have broken up eventually and I am so blessed to be with the man I married. I am happy and would not change my life. I love my children and am so grateful. Nothing would make me change my life now. I was however, very surprised to feel the hurt from an old wound I thought had healed over.

Getting that email just brought up so many emotions and memories from a past I thought I had buried. I think now that I have been able to tell him how deeply he hurt me, I can finally lay it down for good. I’m glad to be able to put that away and remember instead our many years together at school getting in trouble together and loving every minute of it……

I am glad to finally be rid of it…

Who knows where the time goes – Fairport Convention

One of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard in my life. I was listening to satellite radio yesterday while working on math. I froze when it came on, walked over to the stereo and just stood in front of the speakers and listened, and by the end I was crying. I remember my mother singing it as a child but hearing it as an adult really moved me…It really affected me…

It’s so sad, and beautiful and hopeful at the same time……

Alright people! Aside from giving us the ability to build incredible buildings such as the Taj Mahal and the man shed, aqueducts for drinking and sanitation, and furthered mankind’s existance, WHAT has Geometry

ever done for us???

I’m kidnapping Geometry and cutting all it’s bits off and sending them back every hour ON the hour until my school removes Geometry from my course of study.  I shall strike the first blow for oppressed students everywhere!!!!!!