A Gimp's Guide to the 801

More than i can chew

2011-10-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

Well, CX season is here and well underway, and i have to admit i may have bitten off more than i can chew, but i'm enjoying it nonetheless. Last year after i managed to get used to my prosthetic leg and figured out how to unclip and dismount i did a few races in the 35+C category. This year i thought i'd up my game a little and challenge myself and so i registered to race in the 35+A division. If you're thinking, "boy Matt, that's pretty ambitious of you," you are right. I may have envisioned being much faster than i actually am. I was a little realistic, however, in that my primary goal has been to not come in last place, and so far i have managed to meet that particular goal, but not by much.
At the first race of the season i knew there was a pretty good chance there was someone else, who like me, had overestimated their speed and abilities and mistakenly signed up for the 35+A category when they were in fact better suited for the Bs. Sure enough, there was one other rider who was slower than me, and i came in second to last. You can only count on this happening one time, however, as that rider will usually downgrade to a slower race category. So the next day of the double cross weekend i took my place at the line, and was quickly dropped on the first lap when i had a mind meltdown coming into the barriers the first time and unclipped my wrong foot first and lost time trying to get my prosthetic unclipped. This race i was saved from the uncoveted DFL when half way through the first lap my foot sole came unglued from the prosthetic foot and i had to pull out. I was disappointed, however, because last place or not, i wanted to race.

The 3rd race up at Ft. Buenaventura proved to be my best performance so far, as i came in 3rd from last (not counting a couple of guys who dropped out). Yes, i was able to hold off an attack from skibikejunkie on the last lap when he dropped his chain on some bumps around a tight corner and hold onto 3rd to last place (we had also passed stupidbike Bob who was doing his second race of the day, went out strong, then faded).

This last weekend up at Weber Co. Fairgrounds, i came in 4th from last thanks to mechanicals for my brother the artist (who snapped his derailleur hanger half way through the first lap) and Mike P. Matt O. also faded about half way through the race, so i was able to pass him as well.

So, for the time being, i have still met my goal of not finishing DFL. We still have eight races to go, so i hope that i can actually improve on my performance a little, but dang, those 35A guys are fast. The Glenn Brothers are always talking about how they don't get any time to train, but i don't know how they are so stinking fast without training when i'm training my ass off and can barely hang onto the caboose of each race.

At any rate, i'm excited this week to race at Wheeler Farm, because if there is such thing as a "home court," this is it. Since it's only a few miles from my house it's where i usually go during the week to train. I don't know if that means a whole lot in terms of real advantage, but here's to hoping. I'm also excited for this weekend because it's the 2nd annual Cross out Cancer event. Last year we raised almost $30,000 for the Livestrong foundation, and of course this year our goals are even bigger. Looks like the weather is going to be perfect, so, bring the family out and help raise money for the fight against cancer. I'm even more excited this year as well because the proceeds will be split between the Livestrong Foundation and the Huntsman Cancer Institute, which you know if you've read my blog for any time, is very dear to me personally. With the exception of the intern who didn't get my epidural right when i had my amputation, i have nothing but good to say about the great staff and doctors at Huntsman.

Maybe you're thinking, "i want to support this event, but i don't want to race," or "i want to support this event, but i'm a runner, not a cyclist." Well, lucky for you, there are three options that are still available to you:

Option 1: just go online and donate. you can make a donation to my personal fundraising goals here at my page with the Huntsman Cancer Institute:

Option 2: If you want to ride a bike, but don't want to race, you can participate in the "fun ride" at 1:20. This is a non-competitive ride on the race course with the specific goal of raising funds for Huntsman and Livestrong. Bring your mountain bike down and take an easy lap. You can register for the fun ride at the UTCX website.

Option 3: And finally, for you runners who don't want to ride a bike, but still want to participate, we'll kick off the morning with a 5K at 8:00 am. You can register for the 5k at the UTCX website as well.

There will also be a silent auction in the barn at Wheeler Farm thoughout the day, so come down and have a good time while helping fight cancer on a beautiful fall day.

What, we're going home already?

2011-10-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

This post is long overdue, and since we're already three weeks into CX season, i figured i better get my Paracycling Worlds update done before too much longer. So first, just let me say, Worlds was a great experience. I didn't place as well as i hoped, but had a great time racing with Sam and Jon and felt good about the teamwork we did to get good finishes for both of them. And considering I was competing in Paracycling Worlds only 13 months after my amputation, i can still be proud of my performance, and i come into the next year with even more determination to train smart and hard and do even better next year with an eye on the 2012 Paralympics in London.

We got to Roskilde the Sunday prior to our road race. Racing actually started on thursday, but the C4 RR wasn't till Sunday, and each country only gets two slots for the TT in each classification, and since i was 3rd at Nationals, that means i was not on the start list for the friday TT. We traveled with about 21 athletes and 8 staff, so you can imagine getting that many bicycles, handcycles, and all the necessary equipment, including four massage tables, left us with quite a bit of luggage.

We made it to our hotel in Roskilde without too much lost luggage, got our bikes put together, and set out for a ride of the course, a 15 k lap that goes out of town, through some beautiful countryside and a couple of small villages, then circles back into town. The course had a few short hills, but nothing over 200 meters and nothing very steep, but what struck us all was a) how narrow it was and b) how tight some of the corners were. Overall though, it was a great course with good road conditions through some nice scenery. Over the next week, we all rode the course countless times as we prepped for our races. Tuesday and Wednesday the weather was terrible: windy and rainy. There was no clothes washer or drier in the hotel either, so we all had to hand wash and hair drier dry our kits each night so we'd have something fresh for the next day. Fortunately by thursday when the racing began the wind died down and little and the rain stayed away.

By the time everyone started racing thursday, i was ready to go, but still had three days till our sunday race. The hardest part was the waiting and getting a little psyched out by the unknown. I've obviously never raced against any of these guys, so i didn't know what to expect. I knew the competition was going to be hard, but i didn't know how hard. I didn't know who was a factor and who wasn't. Fortunately Sam has been racing these guys for a few years now and could point out some of the different riders as we saw them riding around town, but i was still dealing with the big unknown factor. And then just getting antsy. I watched for 2 days, then 3 days as everyone else raced, just dying to be doing more than easy laps as i tapered for sunday.

Finally Sunday rolled around and we got up at 4:30 for our 8:30 start time. Our race was five laps of the 15k course, so just under 50 miles. Most of my recent races here in Utah had been more in the 75-100 mile range, so i wasn't too worried about the distance, but shorter distances usually means more attacks and an overall harder pace for the duration. As the race started, Sam got the no. 6 callup because of his UCI ranking, but because it was the first race for Jon and I, we didn't get called up until the very end, yea, we were starting at the back of the pack. We were a bit nervous about being able to move up on the narrow roads, but the race started out a moderate tempo, and we were both able to move up pretty easily. But then the attacks started. And as i had imagined, they kept up for the duration of the race. For the first three laps i was staying near the front and marking some of the attacks, but i'm afraid i exerted a little too much energy chasing down attacks that i shouldn't have been worried about. Again, since i didn't know all the racers, i wasn't sure who to be concerned about and who not to worry about. It took me about half the race to figure out who the players were and what i should be watching. On the fourth lap an italian and a german opened up a small gap about 5k from the start/finish. I saw them getting some ground, so i jumped from the group and bridged the gap. We rode hard, but got caught by the group on one of the hills just before a hard right turn that led to a 1.5 k straightaway into the finish line. As soon as we got caught, i attacked again, and the german went with me. This time, however, a bunch of other racers jumped started to close our gap immediately and we were soon reeled in. Sam and Jon were right in the group that caught us, as a group of C5 racers passed me and moved up the road (they race the C5 and C4 classifications together. Theoretically you are supposed to be able to tell the difference because C5 racers are supposed to wear red helmets and C4 racers wear white helmets). I paid very close attention to all the racers who passed us and noted that they all had red helmets, because i didn't want any C4s to get ahead of our group. Sam rode up next to me and confirmed they were all C5s and we didn't need to worry about them, so we settled in with the rest of the group and the small pack of C5s opened up a gap ahead of us as we started into the 5th and final lap.

As we crossed the start/finish and made the first turn out of town, i knew my legs were getting tired from my efforts, so i sat on the back and tried to recover a bit. Because everyone realized no attacks were going to succeed and we all thought the C4s were all together, the pace eased up a little. Eventually i moved up to the front of the pack again just to be in a better spot, but as we moved through a section with a cross wind, i dropped back with Jon to give Sam some cover so we would be fresh for the sprint. We paced Sam into the final hill when the pace picked up and i knew my legs were done. i hung onto the back of the group, barely managed to stick with the group through the sprint out of the corner, and then gave it my all for the last long drag to the finish line even though my legs had nothing left. Jon gave Sam a great leadout, Sam was in good position for a podium finish, but had to scrub speed when another racer moved into his line, and crossed the line in 3rd.
It wasn't long, however, before we found out that an Italian C4 had snuck into the pack of C5s that had gone up the road on us, and he had come across the line a minute ahead of us, putting him in 1st, and bumping Sam into 4th. We were of course bummed that Sam barely missed the podium, but pleased overall with how we raced and that Sam got 4th and Jon got 6th (i came in 15th). It was the best finish for US in the C4 classification for some time, and we are looking forward to improving on that in the future.

Allison Jones, Me, Sam Kavanagh, and Jon Copsey

So now, i had raced, i loved it, was disappointed i had no legs left for the finish, but was ready for more. And then we got back to the hotel, and immediately started packing to go home. "What?" i kept thinking, "we're going home now? Really? I just started racing? can't we race some more?" But unfortunately the racing was over and we had to come home. Like i said, it was a great experience, and i can't wait for more. I love racing the local scene in Utah, but there's certainly something to be said for the international experience and being able to compete against riders from all over the world.
Thanks to everyone who has helped and supported me over the past 13 months that helped me get there and continue to offer support. I'm looking forward to an even better, stronger 2012.

Most of Team USA taking in a skate park on a group ride before the racing started.

Danish podium girls wearing gowns that had some kind of recycling/energy conservation theme.

Italian rider Michele Pitacollo in the World Champion rainbow jersey. He won the C4 division. Note his legs, he has two of them and they are both very strong!!


Sam in the start house for the TT.

Our gold medal handcycle relay team. Overall team USA brought home 14 medals and led in the gold medal count.

And prior to the relay, Oz, Muffy, and Matt warming up.


A short little incline on the race lap, about 3k from the finish. Pre-riding the course here with Jon and Sam.


Some of the narrow country road we raced on.

My post race pizza, yea, i ate the whole thing.

Roskilde Cathedral

Great bike shop in downtown Roskilde that had the derailleur hanger i needed.

It was awesome to hang out a bit in a country where bikes are a part of everyday life and everyday transportation. Living in Italy a few years back i saw this, but the Danish take it to a whole other level.

I loved all the tote cars and kid carriers and seeing moms and families riding around doing errands with everyone on bikes. And even with the lousy, wet, windy weather, they keep at it.

Course marshal volunteers headed out to their stations on the race lap.

Hats off to our team of mechanics. It takes a lot of work to keep a 30 bikes and handcycles in top working condition, especially when each rider has his or her own special adaptations because of the variety of disabilities, but Myke, Eric, and Kimmi were great.

There's a reason they call these Danishes. Overall i found the Danish cooking rather bland, but oh my goodness, i think i ate about half a dozen of those raspberry danishes every morning.

For a few more photos from Joe, visit the gallery on the DNACycling FB page.

Good bye Colo Springs, Hello Denmark

2011-09-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

After a week of training here at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, we are just about to depart for Roskilde, Denmark for Paracycling World Championships. It's been a great week, kind of like hanging out in a dorm full of lots of really fit people. Actually it's interesting to see all the different athletic types: everything from massive weightlifters to the tiniest of gymnasts.

The schedule here was great, but it took a little getting used to. We'd start the day with some type of intensity work out, motorpacing race simulation or TT intervals, then head back and have lunch. After lunch we would rest. Yes, just rest. Do nothing, but rest. Actually that's not completely true, we could also head over to the recovery center and get a massage, use the compression space legs, or do hot/cold plunges going back and forth from a hot tub to a cold tub. Then rest some more. Then late afternoon we would usually do a recovery spin, then some dinner, then more rest. Rest until bed, then get up and do it again.

The recovery compression "space legs"

The "radilac": part caddy, part el camino, with a lift kit for good measure. Like one of my friend says, nothing says "USA" like an el camino with a lift kit.

Refueling after some intervals.


Dessert at the OTC cafeteria.


Out for an easy recovery spin.


Went over to the CoSprings velodrome one night to watch the track racing. I think i'd forget their is no freewheel and rip my legs off if i tried track racing.

Coach Durner packing for the trip.

It's been great to get to meet some of the other team members, an interesting assembly of individuals to say the least, from a variety of backgrounds. I look forward to racing with them in Denmark and cheering for them all in their different race categories. In an hour we head to the airport for our departure. Can't wait to race!!

One Year, an inventory of sorts

2011-08-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

It was a year ago today i rode my bike to the Huntsman Cancer Institute and had my right foot amputated to stop the spread of that nasty, little beast cancer. On some levels, i don't really know what to say about the last year, so instead, i figured i'd provide a photo inventory of some of the things i've lost and some of the things i've gained. With the intent of ending on the positive, i'll start with losses and move to gains.

Some of the things i lost over the past year:

My sister-in-law Bunny who was killed after being struck by a truck while riding her bike.

My mom, who passed away after a long battle with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy.

My dog Hannah, who passed away of old age.

My right foot, removed to rid my body of cancer.

Two of my dearest colleagues, who left Utah to move back to their respective hometowns.

My best friend.

My training partner.

And a few of the year's gains:

An invigorated appreciation and respect for life.

An invigorated appreciation and respect for my health and all that my body and mind are capable of.

An appreciation and deep gratitude for technology.

Qualification for the US National Paracycling team.

Two bronze medals.

New motivation to ride and train.

Some new feet.

A couple of teaching awards.

New friends, communities, and inspirations.

getting some form back

2011-08-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all, i have to say "Wow!!" i did not expect that the voting would overwhelmingly favor wearing the "Amputees need love too!" T-shirt on a first date, but you, the people, have spoken, so as soon as i get that first date, i will in fact wear the T-shirt. I'll let you know how it goes (and i'll also hold you all accountable if it ends miserably)!

Photo: Chris See

Alright, having addressed that, time to move on to other more interesting stuff, like bike racing. It's been almost a year since my amputation, and i'm starting to feel like i'm getting some form back and can actually be competitive in a race rather than just getting shelled out the back as soon as the racing really starts. In fact, this last weekend i took 6th overall in the Bikes4kids stage race, with a 3rd place in the TT. And last weekend i didn't let the hill pictured below take me out of the race.

I know it doesn't look like much from this angle (hills never look as steep in pictures or on TV), but the last little kicker is 8-9% and goes on just long enough to really hurt. At the state championship Road Race we did 5 laps of this course, with a rollout starting across the street from the hill to make for a total of 6 times up the hill. Since climbing is definitely a weakness since losing my right calf, i was afraid i was going to get dropped on the hill when the inevitable attacks started. But lap after lap i was able to hang on. On the 3rd time up the hill i made a strategic attack about a mile before the hill to get a head start. This worked out perfectly as the rest of the group caught me just as i was cresting the top, but this was also the time they took the hill the hardest and dropped half a dozen other riders. Fortunately my strategy paid off and i jumped back in the group for the rest of the race. Of course the last time up the hill the field splintered since the finish line was just past the crest of the hill and the attacks were furious. i got passed by most of the other racers, but overall i was happy to have stayed with the lead group for the whole race. At the beginning of the season i was unceremoniously dropped from every race as soon as we hit any incline, so it's gratifying to be able to stay in till the finish now.

I'm looking forward to Worlds in three weeks, and then after Denmark time to gear up for the 2011 CX season (is it ok to say i may even be a little more excited for CX then worlds). And i'm just going to put this out there. It may be pie in the sky, but i'm starting to entertain the idea that i may have it in me to upgrade to a cat 2. I've never thought this possible, even before the amputation, but with some hard work and dedication i think i can get there. I know i'm not there now, but am sure going to give it my all going into the 2012 road season. By making it public, that puts the pressure on to follow through, right?!?

back in the game (kind of)

2011-07-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

After a couple of years in a great relationship i now find myself single again. I haven't dated in a while, and well, i don't think d-a-t-i-n-g (had it insert the hyphens because google was trying to link to an online d-a-t-i-n-g site from my blog, can't have that) is quite the same for a forty-year old as it is for the younger generation, and being in Utah, the state of the early-twenty-something marriage, only compounds that problem. I don't think being bald or only having one leg helps much either, i mean, would you respond to a personal that read: "One-legged, 40 yo, bald male ISO love and romance. Enjoys riding the Jazzy around the supermarket and sorting socks"?

So as i approach this challenge i come to you, dear reader, for advice. Not long after my amputation cousin Todd sent me this T-shirt:

I personally love it, but am wondering whether it is appropriate attire for a first date. Please give me your opinion, as i'm sure i'll be meeting someone any day now that i'd like to ask out. You can use the poll here in the right of the blog, or feel free to leave comments as well.

Thanks in advance, i value the opinions of each and every one of you (except my brother who wanted to make me a glass of shitaid, thanks, but no thanks in advance for your opinion).

For Bunny, Brynn, Josie, and the many others. . .come race your bike and eat donuts!!

2011-07-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, i know it's a little intimidating to get into bike racing, especially when you see all those skinny, fit racers barely filling out their tight lycra kits, but next weekend is the perfect opportunity to get into bike racing while not having to give up your penchance for fatty foods. In fact, this is the only race i know of where you are actually rewarded for downing as many calories as you can. I know all too well how adversely extra calories can effect race performance ( yes, i love to eat), but at the annual Tour de Donut, you get a time deduction, yes you heard that right, a time deduction (in bike racing that equates to a good thing, you know faster time) for every donut you eat. In fact, it is possible to get a negative time, something that not even the best riders of the Tour de France can boast.

So, here's how it works, as described on the Tour de Donut website:

"It’s simple. Race 21 miles and see who is the king donut! In circuit style, ride 7 miles, then eat as many donuts as you would like. No limit. Then, ride 7 more miles, eat more donuts, then ride the last 7 mile lap.

Take 3 minutes off your time for each donut you keep down. Glory and adulation (and great prizes!) are waiting for you at the Finish Line.

Prizes are awarded on 'Adjusted Times'. There is a good chance that if you do not eat any donuts, you might not end up the overall winner!"

Now, if that isn't enough incentive to come and race (and eat), this is also a great event on a number of other levels. It's a fundraiser for the Huntsman Cancer Institute (an organization that my frequent readers will know is dear to my heart), as well as a number of other worthy non-profit organizations. But perhaps most important for our family, and a reason i have some real respect for the American Fork Rotary Club, is the way that they came out last year, and just days after Bunny's death, put together a first class memorial and tribute to her. They didn't know our family, they didn't know Bunny, but they reached out and gave us a venue to remember Bunny and celebrate her passion for life and fitness. We were honored that they would come to us this year and ask if we would be interested in participating again.

Tragically, not long ago, another family in our community lost one of their loved ones when Brynn Barton was struck and killed by a car while riding her bike in downtown SLC with some friends. As a result of these tragedies, the Tour de Donut is partnering with Road Respect, to raise awareness about cyclists on Utah roads and the rights and responsibilities of both cyclists and automobile drivers. Many of Brynn Barton's family and friends will be participating in this year's Tour de Donut, as well, so come and show support for them, and help us remember and celebrate Brynn, Bunny, Josie Johnson, and all the many others who have been killed or injured while cycling on Utah roads. Like last year there will be a shorter memorial lap before the race for Bunny and Brynn, so bring the family, kids, friends, and eat donuts, ride your bike, and support some great causes.

I've heard a lot of excuses for not racing in the past, but, none of those will hold up here. You can't say your too fat. You can't say you're out of shape (remember you're rewarded at this race for your ability to down calories). And how can you turn down cancer patients, kids in Africa, or the families and friends of such great women as Bunny and Brynn? You're right, there really isn't an excuse, so unless you are doing one of those other two races next weekend (in which case you probably haven't been eating donuts anyway), i expect to see you out at the Tour de Donut!!

stranger than fiction, riding the emotional roller coaster part 2

2011-07-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, just a warning right here at the beginning, this is a long post. I thought about breaking it into two, given that the attention span of all of us raised on MTV and similar media is rather limited, but decided to keep it all together since for me the experiences can't necessarily be separated. That being said, here we go. That phrase "truth is stranger than fiction," has been recurring to me a lot lately, more and more as the year has unfolded. This last week has been no different as the pattern of pain and joy and good news and tragedy all rolled into a matter of a few days has continued. As i look back at the last year and contemplate all that i have both lost and gained, it all seems rather unbelievable; you couldn't make this shit up, as they say. So let me start about a week ago as i departed Salt Lake City for Augusta, GA to compete in the paracycling national championship races.

I have been preparing for these races since my amputation. Of course, it's awful hard to really train with only one functioning leg, but before i got my prosthesis i tried to keep on my bike as much as i could just to keep up some basic level of fitness and T-dub kept me on a pretty strict diet to help me keep my weight down. Once i got my prosthesis i immediately started riding my bike, which was actually a little easier than walking since it's not weight bearing in the same way, and preparing to race cyclocross again. I put on a few pounds over the holidays, but afterwords started taking the weight off and increasing the intensity of my workouts, trying to build up the fitness i had lost after not being able to train for six months on account of the two foot surgeries and then the amputation.

I slowly have seen progress as my fitness has improved since january and was excited and ready, a bit nervous, but mostly excited to go to Georgia to compete. I was not looking forward to the heat and humidity, especially since it had been so cool in Utah all spring, but tried to mentally prepare. The time trial was the most important event because it was also the qualifier for the national paracyling team and was our first race on thursday.

Pre-race meeting with paracyclists and handcyclists at Paracycling nationals in Augusta, Georgia.

Start and finish of the nationals TT at the Thurmond Dam.

I prerode the course on wed. then headed out thursday morning to get ready. It was hot and windy. I got there just in time to watch T-dub start and then bring in the fastest time for the Under23 women and become the U23 National time trial champion. It was an amazing accomplishment and i was incredibly proud of here because i have seen all the hard work she has put into reaching this goal.

T-dub in the start house of the TT.

T-dub just across the finish line of her U23 National Champion TT ride!

Our race wasn't scheduled until the afternoon, and fortunately a storm rolled in which brough the temps down to about 85 (as opposed to 97), and caused the wind to die down. It rained during our TT, but i didn't mind since it cooled things off a bit. If you haven't done a TT before, let me briefly describe how it works. The TT is a race agains the clock, rather than other riders. Cyclists are started at 30 or 60 second intervals and then ride the course and the person with the fastest time wins. Basically what that means is for the duration of the race you are at your lactate threshold, pushing yourself as hard as you can maintain for the given distance. It's painful. Your mind is screaming at you to quit. Your legs are screaming at you to quit. The saying is, you know if you did it right if you feel like you wanna throw up (and i did see quite a few riders throw up as they finished). I didn't throw up, but i put everything i had into those 20K. Two of the fastest riders were starting behind me, and i know i didn't want to get caught by either of them. Fortunately i didn't. As i crossed the finish line i felt good about my ride. I had buried myself to the very end and pushed myself hard across the line. Of course, i had no idea what kinds of times the other riders where posting and didn't know, since i have never raced against these guys, how i would stack up. As we all congregated at the finish line i got a sense from some of the other times and knew that Sam K. had beat us all by a good 40-50 seconds, but that my time was right in there with some of the other guys. It wasn't for an hour or so, however, that we finally got results and i found out i had podiumed with a 3rd place. I was happy with that, not as good as i wanted to do, but certainly happy with it. Given Sam's time, however, i was not confident at all i had made the time cut to qualify for the national team and was a little discouraged and a bit nervous about this since results wouldn't be posted till later in the evening.

Handcyclists racing the TT in the rain. Photo Dave Gaylinn.

Now let me backtrack a tiny bit and say that wednesday night as i was getting a last few things done to get ready for thursday, my dad called me to tell me that my mom's health had taken a turn for the worse. My mom has suffered from a rare neurological disease called progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP), for the past 8-9 years. PSP is a terminal disease that slowly causes the brainstem to degenerate, causing a slow loss of both mental and motor functions. It started out with similar symptoms to Parkinson's or Alzheimers, but as the disease progressed, at least in my mom's case, she slowly lost motor function and the ability to walk or speak, although her brain still functioned and was more acute than in a patient suffering with Parkinson's or Alzheimers. My dad told me that my mom had not been able to eat since sunday (the last time i saw her when i went to my parent's house for sunday dinner), and that she was getting weaker. He told me he had talked to her Dr. who told him that she probably had about another week to live, but that her body would gradually start to shut down since she wasn't able to eat. The Dr. recommended letting her live out her last days at home rather than take her to the hospital and stick her full of IV tubes, so my family chose to do that. I talked to my dad for a few minutes, then hung up thinking that i would be able to get home after the weekend in Georgia and have a few days before she passed on.

I took this with me tucked it away as i raced on thursday, and then thursday night went to the podium ceremony where i got my bronze medal and got to see T-dub get her Gold and national champion stars and stripes jersey. After the ceremony Sam K. grabbed me and said he looked forward to racing with me because he had heard that we were going to have a strong team of C4s (C4 is the handicap classification level that i fit into with a below-knee amputation; there are 5 levels from C1-C5) on the national team this year. I hadn't heard anything yet about team qualifications, so i found my coach Mike and asked him if he knew when they were going to post the qualification times, and with a big grin he said, yes, in fact, he had a copy of it right there. He pulled it out and showed me that i had placed 5th overall (out of about 100 total para-athletes) based on the formulas they use to determine team standards based on different levels of disability (don't ask me to explain how this works because i don't understand it). I was starting to get excited, but still wasn't sure what it meant, so i asked Mike, "so what does this mean in terms of the national team?" He just grinned again and responded, "what are you doing in september? Interested in going to Denmark to race at paracycling worlds?" I was ecstatic. T-dub was with me and gave me a big high five and hug and i grinned from ear to ear. I hadn't done quite as well at the TT as i had hoped, but my main goal was to qualify for the national team, so i was elated. I shot a text home to the artist and mentioned that i didn't think i would be able to do Lotoja this year because i would hopefully be in Denmark racing with the national team instead.

T-dub in the stars and stripes champion jersey with Gold medal!

Podium for C4 TT with Sam K. (gold), and Jon C. (silver).

My phone was dying, so T-dub walked back to my hotel room to charge our phones real quick before we set out for a celebratory dinner. When i got back to the hotel room i noticed the artist had called a couple of times, so i plugged my phone in and got a charge to call him back. While my phone was charging he called again. "Wow," i thought, "the artist never gets this excited about anything, but he's called me three times, that's weird." After our phones charged for a minute we walked out to the car and i called my brother as we were pulling out to go get dinner.
"Congratulations," he told me, then asked, "why didn't you answer your phone?" I explained that my battery had been dying, and then he let me know the news, "mom died about an hour ago."

I asked a few questions and he answered as much as he could. This was obviously much sooner than any of us had anticipated. T-dub sat next to me and held me while i talked to my brother, then i hung up and sat there in a little bit of shock. Even though i had known this was coming for 4-5 years now, and even though with my dad's call from the night before i knew it was imminent, it had happened much more quickly than i anticipated. Within the space of an hour i had gone from great news about the achievement of one of the goals i had been working towards all year to the news that my mom had died.

Kathleen Linebaugh Bradley, 1947-2011

T-dub and i got dinner, and then i called my dad and talked to him for a while. I asked him if i should change my flight and come home the next day, but he encouraged me to stay and finish the races. "Mom would want you to stay and finish, and if i was the one who had passed away, i would certainly want you to stay and finish," he told me. So I stayed and raced the next two days before packing up and heading home on Sunday. At nationals I got another podium 3^rd place at the crit, but then at the road race I went on an early attack when I eased off the front without a chase, and hoped someone would bridge up to me. I knew if no one made the bridge it was an all or nothing deal with the odds much more strongly favoring nothing. Unfortunately no one could get away from the main group to bridge, so I got caught with about 15 k to go. I was a little spent from doing just shy of half a lap on my own, so I didn’t have as much at the end as I would’ve liked and finished in 5^th.

My two bronze medals.

Coming through the start/finish of the RR on the first lap when i had opened up a gap of about 15 seconds. Photo Dave Gaylinn

I wasn’t too pleased with that finish, but I knew that was a risk when I went on the attack and put in the best effort I had. All in all it was a great weekend. The racing was hard, but it was great to meet so many other incredible athletes who make adaptations and figure out how to keep racing their bikes irrespective of the challenges or disabilities that life has thrown at them. I’m extremely excited for the opportunity to train and race with the national team, now I just gotta figure out how to take the first couple weeks of the semester off so I can make it happen. I also want to give a big, public shout out to my coach Mike Durner as well, who despite my impatience and frustration, kept me on track and has steadily helped me improve my fitness and get back towards race form. Thanks Mike!

After the road race Saturday I started to pack and get ready to come home. I had been able to bump my flight up a little, but still had to wait till Sunday to fly home. I got home Sunday afternoon and went straight to my Dad’s house where I spent the rest of the afternoon with my family. My mom’s passing has been bittersweet. PSP took my Mom years ago in the sense that it had stripped away so much of who my mom was. Of course, she held on till the end with the same kind of strength she had always exhibited, but the woman who was bright and well read and loved to garden everyday and walk every morning had been gone for years. Her quality of life had declined so much in the past year that it was a good thing for her to go, to move on and leave the body that had betrayed her. Of course, it is always hard to lose a loved one, especially your mom. As I reunited with my family and had the chance to look through old photos and over the next few days as I heard stories from family members, neighbors, and friends, it was a wonderful opportunity to remember my mom for who she was, not what PSP had done to her.

My mom and I didn’t always agree on issues. In fact, more often than not we disagreed, but I credit my Mom with giving me and helping me develop two of the loves that are a central part of my life: education and gardening. My mom was always involved with education, from the time she started teaching 2^nd grade after she and my dad were first married, to her years of involvement with the local and state PTA, to her time volunteering in classrooms. She was also adamant that we, her children, took full advantage of the educational opportunities that were available to us. I remember one particular instance that highlighted both her commitment to public education and her commitment to her own children’s education. I was finishing up my 7^th grade middle school year, literally it was the 2^nd to last day of school. Practically no one was at school. It was “senior sluff day,” but of course, that meant sluff day for all. People went to school, met up with their friends, then left. I did just the same. I went to school, met up with a few of my friends, and we left, but luck would have it that as we were walking down the street my very own mother would drive by and see me. She immediately pulled over, ordered me in the car, and summarily drove me back to school. See, my mom not only wanted me in school, but she also knew that the way the schools got their money was based on attendance, and no child of hers was going to sluff school and cause the school to lose even that little bit of funding. I remember my mom sitting with me in the worst of my teen, grumpy, hate-everyone-and-everything years and make sure I got my AP European History done. I hated the homework. In the moment, I hated my mom, and it was certainly not easy for her to sit there with me seeping my bitter resentment, but she did it, and I got my homework done, and I passed that stinking AP test, and it was in great measure because of my mom’s dedication, patience, and willingness to deal with a moody and broody teenager. I also fondly remember sitting at our kitchen counter reading through the newspaper and being able to have conversations about just about any issue in the news with my mom as she was cooking dinner. She always knew what was going on, and she was always willing to engage me with the issues. We talked about everything that came up, but I remember most distinctly the many conversations we had about education and specifically vouchers. Even though my mom was overall rather conservative, she was adamantly opposed to vouchers for the very reasons she supported public education as a whole: my mom was a staunch advocate of educational opportunity for everyone, and from her perspective, vouchers and any sort of privatization of education set up a system that would leave lower-income or those without the necessary cultural capital behind those who could afford to use public money to supplement private education. This is one of the few political issues on which we agreed.

I also fondly remember walking with my mom through her garden in the morning and learning so much from her. Of course, like any kid, I hated weeding. I hated weeding the garden, I hated weeding the flowerbeds, i hated weeding. But as I got older, I grew to appreciate and love gardening, and many summer morning I would walk through my mom’s flower beds with her as she taught me the names of plants, the difference between annuals and perennials, the blooming periods of the different perennials, and so much more. I specifically remember my Mom’s war on snails and slugs, something she engaged in with an animosity that I rarely saw in her. I remember her walking through her hostas every morning plucking snails from the leaves and unceremoniously depositing them in the big blue trash can outside the garage. This is one place where my mom and I found common ground, and I cherish the time I was able to spend with her under the morning summer light at the foot of Lone Peak learning the names of plants and picking weeds and snails with her.

My Dad and Sofia at the burial.

The grandsons looking at photos of my mom and some of her horses.

Despite the sadness of a funeral, it's a good time to be together with the family.

and with my brothers, will certainly result in many awkward moments.

So now I’m home from Nationals, my mom is buried, and I’m trying to return to some sense of normal, though I’ve long lost any notion of what normal is. This last year has been such a mix of both pain and loss and accomplishment and joy that I’m not really sure how to ground or center myself. I’m a little lost regarding what to expect for the future, as many of my expectations and basic perspectives have certainly changed. I’m certainly more cynical about a lot, but on some levels continue to be hopeful and excited. I’m angry at times, but that doesn’t serve me or anyone else too well, so I try to focus my energy on other activities that will bring about some sort of positive outcome. Hopefully i can find a way to revisit some of my values and priorities because everything feels just a little up in the air or scattered on the ground at the moment.

On a hopeful note, a note marked by the beginning of new life and all the potential it entails, this morning, just a few days after my mom’s passing, my sister-in-law brought twin girls into the world. Congrats to the artist and the epicure and the newest additions!

It's been an emotional couple of weeks

2011-06-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

Wow! These last two weeks have been pretty intense as they've brought a lot of the events over the past year full circle, in some tragic and heartbreaking ways and in others more hopeful and encouraging. The emotional roller coaster ride really started almost two weeks ago when i read of the hit-and-run death of Brynn Barton who was killed while riding her bike near downtown SLC. It's been just about a year since Bunny was likewise killed while riding her bike with a group of friends on a beautiful summer morning. The news of Brynn's death hit hard, even though i had never met her or didn't know her. Friday night i attended a benefit bike ride and memorial for her and had the opportunity to talk to her mom for a few minutes. I know on some level how hard this is, though i can't possibly understand how her parents feel, or how my brother felt losing Bunny. Regardless, it's painful and tragic beyond words. Two incredible young women with a passion for life and serving other people, both taken within a year while riding their bikes in the streets of SLC. The encouraging and amazing aspect that i've seen again and again, however, is the support and strength of the communities who rally together to support the family members and make sure that some good comes out of these tragedies. I saw and witnessed this time and again after Bunny's death, and saw it again with the memorial ride for Brynn, as well as how her family and friends have chosen to remember and celebrate her and her zest for life. Nothing can compensate for these lost lives, but there's a lot to be said for how those who survive move forward.

This weekend i also had the opportunity to take part in the last leg of the Huntsman 140. By last leg, i mean, i only rode the last 40 miles, but many rode 140 miles, and a small, amazing group of eight rode all the way from Reno, NV to the Huntsman Cancer Institute (a ride of about 667 miles). this ride was started years ago by Jeff Warren who, after beating cancer, decided to ride from his hometown of Reno to the HCI to raise awareness for developing less toxic treatments for cancer. This was the tenth year he's done it. As they rolled towards Salt Lake City today, a group of 100+ riders and myself joined them for the last leg. Let me say first of all, over the past year i have had the opportunity to meet and interact with some really amazing people. Jeff Warren is certainly one of them, as is Cindy Yorgason, a breast cancer survivor, who always greets me with a hug and a smile. And another guy who i can't say enough good about is Steve Kelly. Talk about a heart of gold, I'm consistently impressed with the way Steve goes out of his way to include, support, and encourage others. Case in point, "Echo's Mile." You may remember Echo from a previous post about the rotationplasty surgery that Doc Jones has done for a couple of young cancer patients with sarcomas in their femur. Well, Steve arranged for Echo to meet us and ride on a tag-along attached to his bike for the last mile up to the HCI. Mind you, Steve was finishing up 667 miles, regardless, he attached that tag-along to his bike and he and Echo rode together up to the Huntsman Center across the "finish line." This was definitely the highlight of my day, seeing her pedal along with Steve with a big 'ol grin on her face, and thanks to Steve for making it happen and inviting me to ride along with them.

I was unexpectedly overcome with emotion as we rolled up to the HCI. It's just shy of a year ago now that i rode the very same road with my brothers, brother-in-law, and dear friend T-dub on the way to my own amputation as a result of cancer. As i rode that last quarter mile to Huntsman, this time surrounded by yellow jerseys and other cancer survivors, i started to cry just a tiny bit. It was an amazing experience to relive my ride a year ago with some of the people most dear to me, and to repeat it this weekend with a group of new friends.

I wrapped up the weekend at the Ray LaMontagne concert. Again, emotional for a host of reasons, i found myself up and down, crying and smiling with each new song, letting go and starting anew.

It's been a shitty year, i'm not gonna lie, but through it all, i'm still alive, i'm still able to do the things i love, and although i've lost some of the things that are most important and dear to me, i know i have so much to be grateful for. Sometimes life gives you lemons, so you do your best to make lemonade. Sometimes that lemonade is still bitter, but i'm extremely grateful for those around me who have been there to add a little sugar to make things just a tad bit sweeter. Thank You!!

What are you doing this saturday?

2011-06-15T07:14:00.000-07:00

Don't have plans yet? Or you do have plans, gotta weed the yard, mow the lawn, or clean the garage, but looking for an excuse to get out of it? I've got the perfect excuse:

The Huntsman 140

This is a great excuse to get out on your bike, enjoy the great weather, and raise some money for the Huntsman Cancer Institute (HCI). Over the past year i have had quite a few interactions with the HCI, and met some incredible people, both doctors and nurses and other cancer patients. I have a great deal of respect for all.

If you're training for Lotoja, the Huntsman 140 is a great excuse to get some miles in. If you don't think you're up for 140 miles, don't despair, you can also ride the 40-mile version. In fact, this is the distance i'll be riding. And the 40-mile version doesn't start till noon, so you can still clean the garage in the morning, then load up the family and the bikes and come have a great ride for a great cause.

If you can't ride on saturday, but still want to contribute, click here to go to my personal donation page, but i hope to see you saturday!!

And if you'd like to follow Jeff Warren's 667-mile ride from Reno, NV to the Huntsman Cancer Institute, you can read his blog www.ikickedcancersbutt.org. Jeff has been doing this ride to raise awareness about cancer and raise funds for HCI for the past 9 years. Pretty amazing stuff.

graduation

2011-05-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe that just over four years ago Marti invited me to have lunch on campus with some prospective students who were checking out the Honors College. At that lunch i had the privilege to meet the "Martinez Sisters," two incredible young women, who incidentally, despite having the same last name, are not sisters or even related at all, but who are the best of friends. Over the past four years i have watched these amazing women and many of their peers grow, learn, become great community activists and scholars, and now graduate. Well, Ms. Lilly, or more accurately Hermana Martinez is now serving a mission for the LDS church, but Ms. Yamila just recently graduated and is now moving on to start graduate school in the fall. I am so proud and honored to have been a part of Yami's education, as well as the educational journeys of Heidi, Lalo, Xris, and the many others who set fantastic examples of the value and benefits of higher education.

Last night we also got to celebrate the graduation of some of the high school youth who are part of the Mestizo Arts & Activism Collective. I'm excited to see them move on to college now, and especially excited for those who are coming to the University of Utah where hopefully they will get involved with the Honors College or LEAP and i can continue to work with them. I am so impressed by the mentoring and support that the the MAA university students provide for the high school students to help them with admissions and scholarship applications, getting signed up for orientation and other opportunities, and overall navigating and accessing higher ed. I love spring for a variety of reasons, one of them certainly being the opportunity to celebrate the accomplishments and success of graduating students.

Mentoring at it's best!

How to beat cancer and use your ankle for a knee all at once!

2011-05-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

Just came across this story on KSL about some incredible young people beating cancer and the cool rotationplasty surgery my oncologist Doc Jones has been performing. I had the opportunity to meet Echo (the amazing little girl featured in this story) a few weeks back and have all the respect in the world for her and for Doc Jones.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

not the slowest

2011-05-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

Photo: Steve Kelly

One of us in the picture above was the slowest at the Antelope Island Road Race last weekend, but i'll just leave it at that, and you can figure out who it was. I'll give you a hint, however, it wasn't the guy who only has one leg.

Saturday morning we woke up to 6" of new snow. After calling to confirm the race was still on, and then clearing the snow off his car and bikerack, the artist came and picked me up to head out for the race.

For the Cat 3 division, the Antelope Island RR consists of a start on the island from which we ride out the causeway to the mainland then back, then 8 laps on the island, after which we turn off to the Garff Ranch Road, ride out to the ranch, then back to a hilltop finish, about 64 miles total. Key here is being able to count your laps. It seems like every year there is a fiasco of some sort or another because riders can't count. This year was no different, but in this instance, it seems it was the moto official who couldn't count.

The weather turned out to be quite nice, besides the wind, but it's always windy out there. Despite the overnight storm, the sun came out and the temperature was great for bike racing. The race played out like this: out the causeway and back was fine because it's flat, but i was a bit worried about the punchy little climbs on the laps. I still don't have a whole of lot of "kick" so sudden accelerations and climbing as a whole are tough for me. First lap i made it over the climbs fine in good position in the group.

Photo: Steve Kelly

Second lap i made it over the climbs fine in good position in the group, but it hurt, and i knew i couldn't hold that effort for six more laps. Third lap, i was starting to feel my energy sapping out of me, so i started to eat, but i choose just the wrong moment to eat, right before one of the short climbs, because i ended up at the tail end of the group, and then just couldn't hold the gaps over the climb and got dropped. Alex K. also got dropped on the next climb, so i caught him and the two of us rode the next five laps together just trying to limit the damage since there was not way we were going to catch back on to the peloton. On about lap six the lead group of the Cat 1s caught and passed us. We were counting our laps, but we also knew that since we had been passed by them, when we saw them turn off onto the Garff Ranch road, we still had one lap to go.

Photo: Steve Kelly

We watched them turn, did our last lap, and about the same time caught the artist, who had been poppped on lap 5 or so. As the three of us were heading out towards the Garff Ranch, we saw the rest of the Cat 3 field riding back towards the finish, before we had seen the Cat 1s. This didn't make any sense because the Cat 1s had lapped us and should have been ahead of the Cat 3s. Then it all clicked, they had only done 7 laps.

By the time we made it out to the turnaround and back the finish line was cleared. Literally they were loading the last of the few things into the trailer when we crossed the line (though there wasn't really a line because they had pulled that up as well). We told them we were pretty sure we had done 8 laps and the rest of the field only did 7, they said that made sense because they couldn't figure out how the 3s had finished before the 1s, and told us to go back to the parking lot to talk to the officials. We made our way back to the parking lot to find that they had already awarded the Cat 3 winners, and then got lots of mixed up and contradictory stories about why the rest of the field rode 7 laps rather than 8, but from what i can boil down, the moto official did a bad lap count and went and told the field to turn, even though they all knew they still had a lap to go, but they decided not to complain, made the turn and did 7 laps (though there are some inconsistencies with this story as well). I just wish the dang official had come and told us he had shortened the race to 7 laps, i sure would have appreciated doing one lap less.

So i introduce the unofficial podium of the 8-lap Cat 3 Antelope Island Road Race:

Matt B.
Alex K.
the artist

The artist made a podium out of pillows and had his own little podium ceremony at his house. I just came home and took a nap because i was tired. So although the artist got beat by his one-legged brother, at least he can count. And he was only really last amongst the finishers because quite a few guys DNFed, so he's really not the very last, just the last of the guys who finished, but as my Dad always taught us, "Bradleys never quit!!"

On another note, it was great to see Steve Kelly at the race (thanks to Steve for the great race photos). I recently met Steve through my oncologist Dr. Jones because Steve also had a bone sarcoma in his hip, which Dr. Jones removed using an experimental surgery that basically saved his leg (you can see Doc Jones and Steve in this video for the Huntsman 140). It's been great over the last few months to get to know Steve and others in the cancer survivor community, and see the passion and dedication they have to fighting cancer and supporting others who face it. I also got to meet Jeff Warren who has been riding his bike from Wendover, NV to the Huntsman Cancer Center for the past ten years to celebrate his life and victory over cancer. His ride is the inspiration for the upcoming Huntsman 140. I've been concocting some ideas to raise money for Huntsman in tandem with the Huntsman 140, so stay tuned.

Someone you know

2011-04-22T07:53:00.001-07:00

I've often heard the expression, someone you know and love will be affected by cancer. My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor about ten years ago and an aunt and another good family friend were both taken by breast cancer, so i figured that took care of the quota for the Bradleys. Seems lately, however, like cancer keeps raising it's nefarious little head just about everywhere i look. Last night i attended the Honors College Annual Awards Banquet, where scholarship recipients and seniors who are graduating with Honors are recognized. As i left the banquet i walked out with one of the graduating seniors who had taken my writing class 3-4 years ago. We struck up a conversation, i congratulated him for graduating, and he mentioned it would have been a year earlier, but he had been diagnosed with cancer, and so had to take a year off for the chemo treatments. This young man is only 24 years old. I smiled, showed him my prosthetic leg, and we shared that moment of solidarity knowing for the time being, we had kicked cancer's ass!! I walked to my car and enjoyed the sunsetting over the great salt lake out over the west end of the valley.

Recently T-dub's step mom Cort was also diagnosed with ovarian cancer (on top of Tayler's mom who also had cancer; yea, the list just keeps going on and on). She had a hysterectomy this week, and fortunately there weren't any signs of other tumors beyond the cyst they had removed a month or so ago. They're waiting for biopsies to determine the best chemo regiment, but things are hopeful. So Congratulations Cort!! Like you told me the first time i saw you after your diagnosis, you're going to kick some cancer ass and be a survivor!! You're in my family's thoughts and prayers!

Suncrest

2011-04-17T08:02:00.001-07:00

North side: 23:19
South side: 24:15

spring time in the 801

2011-04-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

Means racing in inclement weather.

Photo: Kristin Portolese-Petersen

And lots of grading.

I did finally get my chile and tomato seeds started, though i'm a few weeks behind this year. I figure it may not matter so much, however, since the last two years i haven't planted till the end of May anyway on account of the late snowstorms.

I've also started to get fit for my final "socket" (the carbon fiber mold that actually fits around my leg to which i mount the prosthetic foot). I've outshrunk four sockets already (insurance only covers two), so the one i'm in right now is not too comfortable because i've got about a dozen layers of socks just to keep it fitting snug, but hopefully my residual limb has just about stabilized and i can get into something permanent.

I also just received notification that i was awarded a grant from the Challenged Athlete Foundation for a new cycling prosthesis, so i'm looking forward to working with Joe at Peak Prosthetics to create something for the bike. CAF is a great organization, go "like" their facebook page, add them on twitter, support them, do whatever you can because they do really incredible work with a lot of amazing people worldwide.

My Alma Mater and school pride gone awry

2011-04-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

I graduated from Alta High just over 20 years ago. Recently Alta has received national attention for an incident in which a white student donned a white pillow case that looked an awful lot like a KKK hood at a spirit assembly. Not long after this initial incident, the picture posted above was sent via text message to many of the students at the school by a few of their classmates.
As i've read through the comments on news pages and the blog of a young bi-racial man who confronted this incident face to face, i reflected on my own experience growing up in a majority white community where the reality and consequences of racism were far from my daily experience, and even trivialized by our ignorance. I recently posted some of these reflections on the blog of the Mestizo Arts & Activism Collective, but wanted to post a link here as well because the issue merits the discussion. You can read my post here.

it's funny what we write about

2011-03-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

i realize that for the most part here in this blog i write mostly about my bike and what i do on my bike. Over the last year with the addition of some of the other crazy events that have occured i've added a bit about other things going on, you know, like being diagnosed with cancer and getting my leg cut off, but for the most part, even now that i'm an amputee, i write about riding my bike. I throw other things in here or there, i.e. something about the garden or a little complaint about the papers i have to grade, but i mostly write about riding my bike. The irony of that really hit me this week, see, i'm not really all that good at riding my bike. Actually let me rephrase that, i'm not really all that good at riding my bike fast. T-dub is good at riding her bike fast, but i'm not. I love riding my bike, even though at some point in every race i feel like i want to puke, i love riding my bike. But it's not something i excel at. I excel at teaching. I am an excellent teacher. and i love teaching. The irony, then, that so much of my blog is dedicated to something i'm not really that good at and i almost never write about something i am really good at, hit me this last week when i found out i have been awarded two awards for my work as an educator at the University of Utah. It's a little goofy right, that i don't mind posting my results in the local crit race (i did move up form last place in the first crit to 18th out of a field of 50 or so this last week), but i'm a tad bit self-conscious about posting my teaching accomplishments and recognitions. So, here they are. This year i have been awarded the University Equity and Diversity Award and selected as the UofU Honors College Distinguished Professor of the year.

Ashley, Yamila, me, Heidi, José, Alonso, Marti at the award luncheon for the Equity and Diversity Awards.

I am deeply honored by these awards. They are a tribute to the incredible colleagues, mentors, and students that i have the privilege of working with every day. My heartfelt thanks to those who nominated me. Thank you very much!

Double Century Weekend

2011-03-13T20:14:00.001-07:00

Today marks seven months since my amputation. I'm getting used to life without my right foot. With the prosthesis I can get around and do pretty much everything i did before. Going down stairs is still a little awkard, and it doesn't always fit quite right because my leg is still reshaping itself so by the end of the day sometimes my residual limb gets a little sore, but overall i can't complain. I can still do most of the things i love. Case in point, this weekend i went down to St. George with the artist, Cousin Kevin, and a few other guys to do some riding. Friday we rode from St. George to Zions and back (98.5 miles), and then Sunday we did the Old Highway 191 ride from St. George to Mesquite and back (110 miles) for a double century weekend.

The weather was perfect both days: 70 degrees, light winds, and blue skies. Friday i felt pretty good and even put in a couple of hard efforts to keep up with the artist and Mitch on some short climbs. Saturday was a different story. I was dragging a bit from the get go. It didn't help that Cousin Kevin didn't ride with us friday, so he was pushing it on the front from moment we left the house. I got dropped pretty quickly once we hit Utah hill heading west. On the way back, however, i got a little second wind, and settled into a nice pace up the world's longest, straightest climb. It's only 2-4%, but that damn road heading east from Littlefield to the summit goes on for stinking ever. I was feeling pretty good though, settled into a nice cadence and HR and kept the legs cranking, then about 4 miles from the top I cracked. It took all the energy i had to get to the summit. Fortunately the last 30 miles or so back from the top back to the house were mostly down hill. I definitely found the limits of my fitness and endurance. It felt like Utah Hill was harder than it's ever been, but the artist and the others thought the same, so we surmised it may have been because in the past we've always done the mesquite ride the first day and the Zions ride on the second day.
I was so beat by the time we got back i fell asleep in the tub until I heard kevin yelling at me that we were 30 minutes late for dinner.

The artist in his new DNA Cycling body mapping bibs and jersey. The orange contrast stitching matched the red rock and sand.

R3 on the Utah Hill climb.

Regrouping at the Utah Hill Summit.

My least favorite part of the whole ride, the 15% hill back up to Cousin Kevin's pad. It's only 300 meters or so, but at the end of a long ride, it sucks!

Race season officially started last weekend with the first crit. I rode out with the artist and raced with the B-flight. I felt pretty good for the first 30-minutes, then started to fade a little near the end. With two laps to go i made a stupid mistake, and got caught off the back around the 180 turn, then got stuck in the wind, couldn't close the gap, and got dropped. I placed dead last in the B-flight, but the upside is the only place to go from last place is up.

In contrast to my last place, T-dub had a great first race of the season at the Merco Cycling Classic with her new team Peanut Butter & Co./Twenty12. Her teamie Alison Starnes held onto the the best time for the overall GC after a great TT, and T-dub took 6th overall.

Putting it down in the TT.

T-dub leading out the Blue and White train in the Almond Blossom Road Race.

An open letter to representatives urging them to oppose HB 191

2011-02-16T14:04:00.001-08:00

Dear Representative,

I am writing to urge you to oppose HB 191: Nonresident Tuition Waiver Amendments in the House Revenue and Taxation Committee meeting this friday. If passed, this bill would take away in-state tuition for undocumented students who have attended at least three years of high school in Utah and graduated from a Utah High School. As an Associate Professor/Instructor in the University of Utah Honors College I have had the privilege of teaching and working with quite a few undocumented students over the past several years and can assure you they are not the criminals they are often made out to be. Just this last week in committee meeting testimony we have heard undocumented immigrants referred to as a bacteria that is rotting our country, as invaders, and as criminals.
My experience, however, has been quite different. The undocumented students I know are bright, intelligent, hard working, and engaged young people with dreams and goals just like any of our other students. Most of them did not come here by choice, but were brought by parents who moved here to be in closer proximity to the LDS church, for jobs, or even to provide better educational opportunities for their children. And the students I know are honoring the commitment of their parents by pursuing the goals and dreams for which their parents have sacrificed and worked.
Passing HB191 will not make these students pick up and go back to their home countries, countries with which many of them are unfamiliar. It will only make the dream of getting an education that much more difficult. Please support these hard-working and dedicated young people by allowing them to pursue their educational dreams by maintaining in-state tuition for those who qualify. Please vote against HB191, it does nothing to solve the immigration issue. On the contrary, it only creates more obstacles for the very capable and bright young people who could actually help us develop some sensible immigration policies that address concerns of border security, labor markets, and family stability.

Thank you,

Dr. Matt Bradley
Sandy, Utah

A Valentine's Day Poem

2011-02-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

Here's a poem from a few years back, written as a "bad love poem" exercise (t-dub wanted me to clarify that)!

zero to sixty

overcome am i
beholden to your eyes
searing through my soul
puncturing my heart
spewing the blood of my love for you
over a million pieces of
fragmented dreams shattered in the
aftermath
of the wreck
we called a
relationship
which was really much more like
gunning the engine thinking we could do zero to sixty in a matter of
seconds
and not seeing the brick wall
against which our love
shattered
into a million pieces of
fragmented dreams
and
exploded hearts
bloody, stinking, burning love
in the wreckage of my heart.

Mt. Lemmon

2011-01-20T20:24:00.000-08:00

After spending a little time in Tucson a few weeks ago i couldn't wait to get back to enjoy the warm weather, so with the Martin Luther King Day holiday coming up i booked a flight to go back down and spend the long weekend with T-dub and Trigger and Reggie. When i was there over New Years T-dub and i had attempted Mt. Lemmon, but could only ride the first 14 miles on account of the road was closed beyond that because of the snow and ice. In retrospect that may have been a blessing in disguise. With warm temperatures (high 60s and low 70s) this past weekend, however, we would not be deterred. It has been five months since my amputation and i thought what better way to celebrate than to climb Mt. Lemmon.

Mt. Lemmon is a great climb. Twenty-one miles of pretty consistent climbing with only a few let ups in pitch and a few sections of 10-12% grade to make up for it. It's a beautiful climb that transitions from the desert valley floor up to the ponderosa forests with incredible panorama views in all directions. After you hit the 21 mile mark you've got four more miles of up and down before descending about a mile down to the famous "Cookie Cabin."

I got in friday afternoon and we went out saturday and did the Saguaro National Park loop, then Sunday morning we set out to ride Mt. Lemmon. I felt pretty good the first six miles or so, but as we hit a steeper pitch between miles 6 and 7 i started to fade a little. I kept at it though, and was glad for a few spots between miles 7 and 12 where the slope ease up to 1-2%, even if it was for just a few hundred meters. At about mile 12 the pitch picks up to 8-9% up to mile 14, but i had ridden this before and so was able to set into a fair pace (for a one-legged gimp at any rate) up to mile 14 at Windy Point. Moving past Windy Point we had a few sections of the steeper 12-13% slope, but they are through beautiful hoodoo rock formations that elicited unknown stores of energy from my tired body.

After the hoodoo lookout, however, i was done, but i still had a good 5 miles to go before mile 21 and 10 miles to go before the cookie cabin. T-dub peeled a banana and some fruit snacks and handed them over to me and i managed to slowly work my way those last few miles to the summit. From there we descended down the backside to the Cookie Cabin where Reggie and Trigger and the kids came up and met us for some king size cookies.

After the cookies we jumped back on the bikes and made our way back up to the summit, then started the 21-mile descent. I brought my gopro camera along so we got some footage that i'll try to post up in the next few days, but suffice it to say it's a great, fun descent with some wide, fast turns and curves—a nice reward after the climb up.

Monday we rode out over Gates Pass and out into the desert enjoying the warm temperatures and bright western skies, then rode back into Tucson and enjoyed each others' company at the outdoor seating of a coffeeshop which will remain nameless until we had to head back to Trigger and Reggie's so i could pack up my bags and bike and head to the airport. A short trip i wish i could've extended, but i'll be grateful for what i get!

Bringing in the New Year Tuscon style

2011-01-05T09:25:00.001-08:00

As is tradition, i spent the new year with Trigger and his family. Well, it's not really tradition, but this is two years in a row now that i've spent New Years with them, so maybe it's the beginning of a tradition. Last year i went down to the Baker Ranch to help Trigger look for a bull that i don't think really exists, but a few months back Trigger took a new job as a horse trainer at the Bandalero Ranch, and T-dub was going to Tucson to train for a few months, so it worked out nicely that T-dub and i could drive down together and spend a week with Trigger & Co. before i came back. I was excited to get to some warmer climes and get some miles in, especially when i saw the forecast for the big storm that was supposed to hit SLC. Turns out that same storm front rolled through southern AZ with freezing temperatures, rain in the valley, and a lot of snow up Mt. Lemmon. Despite the relatively cold temperatures and rain, however, 45 degrees still beats 7 degrees, and T and i got some good riding in before i had to come home.

The view west from Gate's Pass

T-dub at Gate's Pass

T-dub at the bottom of the Mt. Lemmon climb

About mile marker 6 up the Mt. Lemmon climb.

By the end of the week the skies had cleared and the temps were climbing again. By Sunday we were able to get out and climb Mt. Lemmon with near 60 degree temperatures. The road was closed at mile marker 14, however, and the last 3 miles from MM 11 to MM 14 were a total clustermuck of bumber to bumper cars on account of the snow, but not in the way you might imagine. It was three days after the storm had rolled through, the roads were plowed and dry. There wasn't a traffic jam high on a mountain road because of nasty weather conditions, rather, it was because all those folks from Tucson who only get to see snow once or twice a year, if that, had decided to drive up the mountain to fill their truck beds with snow to take it back down to the valley. I kid you not!! They were building snowmen on the top of their cars, on the hoods of their cars, in the beds of their cars. They were stringing snowballs on their car antennas. They were sledding down 3 foot road cuts. They were shoveling loads of snow into the beds of their trucks, onto the tops of their cars, and anywhere else they could pile it. T was amused that something that gives Utah drivers so much angst was providing so much excitement and euphoria.

Loading snow into the back of the pick up.

Grid lock at mile marker 11

Overall, however, riding in Tucson, at least this time of year, is great. Although one guy rolled down his window at a stop light to tell me that riding on the white line of the bike lane was illegall and i should ride further toward the curb, Tucson has a great network of bike lanes and biker-friendly road improvements including crosswalk buttons that are actually on the side of the road, within reach of cyclists, rather than all the way up on the sidewalk, and specific bike lanes and bike traffic lights. It's nice to see SLC take some initiative in this direction, but the rest of the valley is appallingly bad for cyclists, either in terms of encouraging cycling as a simple method of transportation or for recreational cyclists. We could learn a few lessons from Tucson.

We spent New Year's Eve playing Rumikub and drinking sparkling cider, then on New Year's Day Trigger had to feed the cattle, so we went over to his work and Riddles got to experience cows for the first time in his little super-suburbia life. He was all tough like he thought he knew how to herd cows, but Dally dog, his mom, had to show him what to do, and even then ultimately he was still kind of a wuss. Too bad Trigger's not on the ranch anymore where we could really teach Riddles what a cow dog is supposed to do. He thinks herding chickens and chasing the other dogs around the back yard is a big deal, but when he came face to face with a bunch of hungry cows, he wasn't quite so sure of himself anymore.

T-dub bucking some hay, she says she bruised her leg lifting that thing up.

Trigger, Dally, Remi, and Cass

Riddles barking at the cows (from a safe distance).

Remi helping feed the cows.

All Riddles needs for fun is a hole in the ground. He loved the fire pit in Trigger's back yard.

Monday morning we loaded up T's stuff and dropped her off at one of her teammate's houses, then the dogs and i hit the road to head back to SLC. I was excited that we were on the road at a reasonable hour because i hadn't driven the stretch from Flagstaff to Panguitch in daylight for quite some time. We only made it to Page before it got dark, but weren't disappointed by the scenery or the sunset. Back when i lived in Indiana for grad school i really missed mountains and big open spaces, and specifically the cloud formations that both of those physical features influence.

We rolled into SLC at about midnight on monday, then tuesday night i went back up to the UOP for some bobsledding. Big change from 60s and sunny to 10 degrees and icy.

And then today i reacclimated myself to winter training in Utah: bad air and ice.

"Red Air Day" in the SL Valley.

Five or six days after the storm, my street is still full of snow and ice.

Best Christmas ever (and what i learned from a botched loaf of bread, a cookbook, and a $7 t-shirt).

2010-12-29T15:07:00.001-08:00

I have to admit Christmas Eve i was feeling a bit down, for some legit reasons and for some not-so-legit reasons. The legit reasons, i had not been able to spend as much time with a very important person on account of some different issues. The not-so-legit reasons, well i have to preface the not-so-legit reason with a little description of my family and one of our christmas traditions. Each year all the individual families in my larger collective family make or put together cutesy little creative gifts for the other families. Usually it is some sort of homemade holiday decoration or a favorite recipe with a little package of cooking utensils, something along those lines. I've never really participated in this tradition until last year when T-dub and I decided to give some of the red pepper jelly i had made, all wrapped up in cute bows and ribbons. So this year we decided to give a loaf of beer bread to everyone. I would make it and T-dub would wrap them up all cutesy again. Now the thing you gotta understand about beer bread is it is incredibly easy to make, pour some beer in a bowl of flour, sugar, and baking powder; put it in a bread pan; cook for 50 minutes; and you're done. No waiting for yeast to rise. No kneading. None of that. Mix and cook, that's it. After a little experimentation I had come up with a honey wheat beer bread that T and i both really liked, it's especially good toasted with an egg in the morning, so she bought stuff to wrap it and i started cooking. What i hadn't accounted for was that four loaves cook in the oven a little differently than two loaves, and well, i overcooked the first batch and undercooked the second batch.

Undercooked beer bread, still all doughy in the middle.

T had left for her family dinner and so i was left to head to my family's christmas eve dinner empty handed, no tasty delicious beer bread to share. I was feeling rather glum about it. To make things worse, when i got to the Flogger and the Artist's house, practically the first thing i saw upon entering the kitchen were three perfect loaves of bread that Reggie had made for dinner.
Family arrived, we had a great dinner, kids chased each other around the house and wiped their snotty noses all over their new toys, but i was missing T-dub and bugged that i had botched the beer bread (how's that for alliteration), so i went and sat down in a front room for a minute just to get a minute away from all the wonderful christmas spirit and enthusiasm (and partially to hide from the embarrassing fact that i didn't have any cute gifts to share with the rest of the fam). At this point each of the families had started distributing their presents and the artist and flogger's girls came in and put a book in my lap, wrapped in a pink ribbon. One look at the title and i was both ashamed and deeply saddened.

Here i was upset i had undercooked a couple loaves of bread when i suddenly felt the real tragedy of Bunny's loss. As i was sitting there starting to feel real grief my brother Luke came in the room to see how i was doing. Again, i felt a bit ashamed and deeply saddened. Here i was feeling the emptiness of Bunny's loss, and my brother, the one who deals with it on a daily basis, came in to check on how i was doing. He asked me how i was doing, said if i wanted to cry, he would cry with me because it was something he had gotten real good at over the holidays, and put his arms around me and gave me a big hug. Yes, we cried together, not the first time and i can't imagine it will be the last.

So i got up out of my pouty chair, followed my brother back into the room where the family was gathered, and enjoyed the time i had with my family because i can always make another batch of beer bread, but i won't be able to get back time with the one's i love, some of whom carry much deeper wounds than i.

Nieces dressed up for the nativity reenactment.

The next day T-dub was determined to make Christmas a great day and make up for the time we hadn't been able to spend together. At this point i should preface the rest of the story by saying neither of us is rich. We don't lack by any means, but we're not rich. As a result we had agreed to not get any big gifts, but to keep it simple. We exchanged stockings and a few other small gifts, and this is when i realized how amazing it is to have someone in my life who pays attention and knows the small things that make me happy. I couldn't help but smile when she handed me my stocking and i handed her the stocking i had for her, and they were stuffed with almost identical goodies.

Our Christmas stockings, both of them topped off with Amano chocolate and RJ's soft raspberry licorice.

As i pulled treats out of the stocking i also pulled out a small, wrapped gift. I unwrapped it and immediately got a little emotional again. T had got me a "Twenty12 Women's Professional Cycling" T-shirt. I know, i know, a t-shirt, right, and last-year's design on sale at that? Not that big of a deal, but for me it meant a lot. Again, it was an incredible indication of how much she listens and cares (we had talked about the t-shirts a few weeks earlier when we both saw a twitter about the team clothing on sale). It was also a meaningful indication that she wants me to be a part of this next endeavor of her life, and i couldn't be happier.

After exchanging gifts we put on our warm weather gear and went out for a little ride. Actually we planned a longer ride, but my chain broke, so by the time i got that fixed we had to cut it short, but nonetheless, it was great to get outside, ride in the sun, and wrap up a wonderful Christmas doing something we both love.

Overall our Christmas wasn't extravagant. It wasn't super fancy or full of expensive gifts. But it was wonderful, the best ever even, notwithstanding Bunny's absence, because it was marked by time spent with the people i love and simple gifts from the heart.

christmas ride with T-dub from matt bradley on Vimeo.

Bend over, put your head between your knees, and . . .

2010-12-24T15:45:00.001-08:00

hold on!!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to give bobsledding a try with the USA adaptive bobsled team up at the Utah Olympic Sports Park. A couple of months ago another amputee connected me to Dave, the guy who heads up the team and has done quite a bit to organize and legitimize adaptive bobsledding with the hopes of someday getting it as a para Olympic sport.

Dave waiting at the top to unload the sled from the truck. Props to Dave for not crashing, i'm glad i didn't get any iceburns my first time out.

Prior to this experience i didn't know a whole lot about bobsledding except you go real fast down an icy track in a big fiberglass sled. It always looked fun, but i hadn't ever given it a second thought until i was invited to slide with the adaptive team and see if it was something i liked. So finally yesterday we connected and i went up and did a few runs.

Dave and Olympic skeleton gold medalist Jimmy Shea and the adaptive sled (notice the "rollbars").

First thing you gotta know about bobsledding is there is the driver, and then there's everyone else. In a two man sled there's the driver and the brakeman. It takes a lot of training and practice and "drive school" before you can drive a half ton sled down an icy track, so you can imagine i was relegated to the brakeman position. You'll also quickly find in the arena of bobsled racing there are a lot more people who want to be drivers, and not very many who want to be brakemen. I quickly found out the reason for this. For the brakeman bobsledding basically consists of: push like the dickens from the start block, jump in the sled, put your head between your knees, hold on, bounce around against the insides of the sled and feel your guts get pulled up through your throat from the g-force, hope like hell your driver doesn't crash, then pull the brake at the end when the driver yells at you to brake (cuz of course you can't see where you are with your head between your knees). Yup, that's it. If you opt to be a brakeman, this is what your view will be like for the entire 50 second ride from top to bottom (except your head will actually be all the way down between your knees):

The bottom of the sled. The two silver levers in between my feet are the brake. Right on the outside of my toes you can see two small handles, those are what you hold onto. The driver chair in this sled is a lot bigger too, with race car style seat belts to keep the driver inside in case of a crash since a few of the drivers in the adaptive program can't walk.

Riding in the back of the shuttle truck with the sled up to the top of the track.

We did four runs yesterday, and by the time i got home later in the afternoon my lower back was so stiff i could barely move. In fact, i didn't know how i was going to bend over to take my prosthetic foot off. Doesn't seem like a short sub-minute run could do that much damage, but i guess the g-forces in the turns and the effort of holding on while rattling around all while doubled over will do that.

When all is said and done, however, it was fun. Even though i couldn't see a thing but the sun and shade flickering off the bottom of the sled, it was an experience, but let's be clear, if given the chance, I'll take the opportunity to learn to drive.

Two of the other guys practicing at the track jumping in the sled after the push.